Then I started thinking about my life. Why do I hold onto thoughts and memories, some good, some bad, from long ago that are having a bad affect on my current life and relationships? Why do I hold onto these things? How do I not let what has happened w/ many, many friendship/relationships in my past affect the ones I may have in the future? If I was treated poorly and abandoned in my past, how can I move forward not feeling that I'll be treated poorly and abandoned in my future?
I understand what you mean..I've recently had to do a little "cleaning" myself. It's a little easier for me because i don't really like most people i meet,so it's actually a chore to be around them.
The person who was "cleaned" was my now,ex-GF..she was a very miserable person..which in turn made me miserable too..i basically told her in so many words that i've decided to go "a different way" and that we should COMPLETELY separate....which also meant no more of her favorite pastime.."Myspace stalking"me, then getting an attitude about what i write in my blogs either. I basically told her that i plan to drain every good thing i can from every day of my life,and that I couldn't afford to do the misery thing anymore..we had already talked about this previously,so at this point she was bitter because of how "easy" it was for me to stop dealing with her.
I've also told her on numerous occasions about my JW friend,my best friend who i loved like my fleshly brother of 15yrs who i don't speak to today..and how one day,i just decided it'd be best if we went our own ways,because he planned to stay at the hall and subject himself to further jackass-ery,all while following the rules they laid down for him..and i planned to reclaim the rest of my life for myself..doing what I wanted to do for a change.
What i do i like to call "manual memory repression",wherein i deliberately scramble the details,and memories about and with a person till i forget the specifics about them,which makes moving on so much easier..the last thing i usually remember is the "high points" which when i compare it to where i am now,i think of how much better i could have been if it weren't for that person..makes things a LOT easier for me-KS