Posts by AlyMC

15

Counseling/Guiding your kids on their sexual awakening...

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

if the mods feel this should be moved to 'relationships', which is clearly labeled 'sex', that's fine.

i think it more appropriately falls under 'family, teens', as i am looking for advice from parents with kids about how they plan to manage/guide their child's transformation from teen to adult.. do you still subscribe to the no-sex-before-marriage rule for your kids?

i, personally, don't.

AlyMC

This is one of the hardest things for me to navigate as a mama. Growing up it was so "hush, hush, shame, shame, bad, bad" that it is hard for me not to revert back to that on an reactionary level.

I'm not opposed to premarital sex, or sex outside of a long term committed relationship. I think it is ok for sex to be physical sometimes if that is what both partners hope to get out of it and nobody is being mislead. I really hope my kids wait until after they are 25 to choose a long term partner, but I don't expect them to wait that long to experience sexual contact.

I plan to tell my kids that some people do A, some do B and that they have to look within to figure out their truth. The only one who can figure out what they can live with internally (long term) is them. I think it is important to empower them and give them control over their own sexuality, because anything else is just perceived control. (IOW, they are the only ones who truly have control, so be honest about it.)

And of course, they will be well educated on birth control, STD's, and their body. I hope they will understand how the body works (aka natural family planning). My goal now is just to be calm, honest, open, and casual about the topic. So far so good.

29

What lengths did you go to, to not miss meetings?

by exwitless in

i posted this in another thread, but i thought it would merit a thread.

the elders in our cong.

likened missing a memorial to an "unforgivable sin".

AlyMC

We used to go to the conventions, sleep in- show up for the lunch hour and walk around like we had been there all morning (never bringing in "stuff") and then leave again and go off and explore the town. Everyone always thought we were there- but we weren't. For a few years we went to a convention that had a sky walk to a hotel (not approved) and we LOVED staying there. Made our adventure SO easy.

So I guess like Oompa, we went through lengths to miss things :)

73

What is your current status with the Watchtower Society and Congregation?

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

i'm a baptized member considered ''inactive.

'' i don't hand in ''service reports'',attend maybe 3 meetings a month,ain't signed up for the ministry school and will never attend any convention or the ''book study.

'' always make the ''memorial.

AlyMC

I have no idea. I thought I faded, but the descriptions around here make me think I didn't fade so much.

In late winter 2004 I told DH I was leaving, then talked to the elders as he requested. I told them all my concerns and objections (standard doctrine issues) and they bluffed their way through our "meeting". I wasn't impressed, stopped going to meetings then. A month or two later went to my last memorial and never went back. it was obvious that the rumor mills went around the way nobody talked to me (plus the news traveled to our family out of state)

They all know that we celebrate, and vote, and that I look "worldly". When I first left I posted all over a parenting board about my journey and disbelief- a board I shared with several sisters in my congregation. We have an open family blog that indicates all of those things we do "wrong"- but I've been gone a long time. Nobody seems to care about defining our status.

So we went out openly and honestly... but nobody cared to try and DF me.

66

the unkindest cut of all?

by chickpea in

never believing that a foreskin was a birth defect, i left my sons intact...( called genital integrity in some circles).

what, if anything, makes circumcision less of a mutilation than fgm?.

dont kill the questioner!!

AlyMC

I've been exposed to both. I honestly don't get the idea that one is better than the other either aesthetically or physically. Sexually, I think both are great and neither is gross at all.

If I had a son, I'd opt not to have him circumcised. If he felt it was something he needed to do to fit in with peers or to be accepted by women, I'd fully support his decision.

I think I would feel that way about any kind of body alteration.

QUOTE:

"I've worked in rest homes, and it's no big deal, frankly some of the women were no picnic either. And that's the point I'm gonna get at. First, let's look at a reversal. The female equivalent of male circumcision would be having the hood of your clit removed. Sound fun? Y'all have parts and folds that are just as internal and hard to keep clean. Having dirty "junk" is gross, period, chopped and lowered regardless."

I was thinking the exact same thing... dirty is gross. If women can keep clean, so can an intact man.

66

Have you started to do "bad" things now, or want to?

by oompa in

jw
friends

just because you won't feel guilt the way you used to?.................................oompa

AlyMC

I do things that JW's would consider bad. I don't really do anything I consider dishonest or immoral (cheating on taxes, stealing, adultery, etc). Even when I was a JW I did things they considered bad though... probably had "more strikes against me" then, than I do now.

eta- oh, about guilt... I used to live with a lot of guilt for the choices I made... and I no longer do. I feel really good about the choices I have made in my life :) Even the "bad" ones.

23

Ways to get in trouble at the hall without actually getting in trouble...

by cognac in

1. told the entire cong.

that jesus coming in his kingdom was in about 31 or 32 ce when jesus got transfigured.

- this was during the weekly bible reading part... lol (the society actually says that about when jesus told the disciples that some of them would see him coming in his kingdom before they died...).

AlyMC

When I was getting close to leaving I said something in a comment about being able ot look up reviews of translations online. The study article was all about how great the NWT is, so I said it like we can verify how "great" the NWT is from the professionals. The elder looked like a deer in the headlights and told me after that we don't want to encourage JW's to look things up online. He was one smart brother, and I have little doubt he has read at least some apostate info online.

27

Do you have blue eyes? We could be related!

by Bumble Bee in

jw
friends

i thought this was an interesting article.

here's what made those brown eyes blue .

scientists find that blue-eyed individuals have a single, common ancestorby jeanna brynerlivescienceupdated 2:01 p.m.

AlyMC

ahhh, interesting! A friend of mine was telling me this not long ago. My husband and I have a blond hair, blue eyed, fair complected daughter. He is Puerto Rican with brown hair & eyes, and I've got dark hair and green eyes. I've always wondered how and why she got her coloring (especially eyes). Of course he has a grandfather with blue, but I don't know of any blue in my family.

152

What has happened to your human decency?

by multifarious in

jw
friends

i am new here and i have been reading a lot of stuff on this board.

my parent's are both jws, i am still active and still believe i have the truth.

i consider myself a moral person.

AlyMC

Sweetface said it better than I could have and it warrants repeating:
"First, I want to commend you for being an ADULT and confronting those who offended you, instead of labeling people here as bitter and heartless apostates, in your mind, and never returning. I know men and women 5, 10, 20 years older than you that need to take a lesson in addressing their issues and concerns w/ others. Please keep that quality about yourself, as you will find it necessary in your adult relationships. However, there are so many people here that are jaded, confused, and overwhelmed by, not only their experience w/ the WTS, but w/ the hardship of everyday life. You will find w/ more life experience how stressful and disheartening just keeping a roof over your head, having reliable transportation, and putting food on your table can be. Humor is an amazing way to release stress, lower your heart rate and blood pressure, and calm you down after a tough day trying to keep yourself alive."

I hope to see you around :)

106

Crackdown on "sisters" volunteering at DCs

by dozy in

jw
friends

the wts has sent a letter to all convention overseers expressing their increasing concern at sisters "directing brothers" at district conventions.. with immediate effect (ie for dc 2008), sisters are no longer to be used as volunteers in parking and security / watchman departments.

any sisters volunteering in other departments (eg toilet cleaning) must be subordinate & follow the direction of appointed brothers.

this move will put a huge burden on the dcs in my area - nearly half the volunteers for parking are sisters and there aren't enough volunteers as it is.

AlyMC

WTF?

I grew up primarily going to the Pontiac Silverdome in MI and I don't remember ever seeing sisters directing traffic, but I just can't believe this is actually a legitimate concern of the WTS.

Their stance on feminism being the root of all evil is one of the first things that pissed me off, and why having daughters is what finally sent me seeking an alternative. What pinheads.

106

Crackdown on "sisters" volunteering at DCs

by dozy in

jw
friends

the wts has sent a letter to all convention overseers expressing their increasing concern at sisters "directing brothers" at district conventions.. with immediate effect (ie for dc 2008), sisters are no longer to be used as volunteers in parking and security / watchman departments.

any sisters volunteering in other departments (eg toilet cleaning) must be subordinate & follow the direction of appointed brothers.

this move will put a huge burden on the dcs in my area - nearly half the volunteers for parking are sisters and there aren't enough volunteers as it is.