You could dye your hair a bright bright red... technically "red" is in the natural "ok" zone, but you could push the limits on the tone and brightness they consider ok :)
I love hair dye...
much trouble... or, things to do at the mtg that will raise eyebrows but won't get you into to much trouble.. i've been thinking about this since i still go.
i'm surprised at how much a person can get away with if they are in a hall that they have no family in that particular kingdom hall.... at the memorial i put on so much dark eye make-up i was shocked my husband didn't say anything walking out the door.
instead, i got compliments, lol, not exactly what i planned on.... one of my friends who faded went to the memorial and she had a pretty low cut shirt on.
You could dye your hair a bright bright red... technically "red" is in the natural "ok" zone, but you could push the limits on the tone and brightness they consider ok :)
I love hair dye...
welcome to the world ava rose!
we are glad you are here.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jzoznivllhw.
Welcome Ava! She has a really sweet name.
i was a jw but left about 8 years ago, my husband wanted to go back so we have tried, i did not do so good.
being gone so long just helped me realize this is totally false, i look at the jws as lambs being lead to their deaths.. fast forward to now, we are both in our 40s and i have had medical side effects from using birth control and other meds as birth control.
my body can not take anymore, i have suffered breast cyst and uterus cyst, so i asked my husband who has an issue with using condoms because he does not reach a climax, and has to masturbate, to use something that would offer us a permanent result such as him getting a vasectomy.. his reaction is like why i feel even more strongly that jws are wrong.
I agree with Avishai, really.
That said, as women it is our job to take our responsibility of our bodies and our fertility. How our partners support us and help us is an entirely different subject... and does need to be addressed. At the same time, better to take control than find ourselves in a position we are unhappy about.
Essure would be my first choice, much less invasive than tubal ligation but just as permanent. It also doesn't have as many hormone related side effects. http://www.essure.com/
Good Luck... I really don't think we (or a psychic) can answer the bigger problem for you... it is obviously much larger and has to be worked out between the two of you.
hi fellow jwders:.
i've just returned from playing piano duets with one of the community's .
premier accompanists.
My grandpa is in his 80's and still an active captain in the Coast Guard. He never rests, hates to sit down. My DH's grandpa walks like 10 miles a day, same age... fantastic physical health. They both give me so much to aspire to, I admire them both immensely.
so i'm in the process of ditching my jw friends and one of them tells me that i'm starting to sound like an apostate why??
because i'm going to yet another congregation and she feels that i should stay in one cogo to get established.
first of all i'm about to go into a foreign language congo wherein i speak half the language and want to be fluent in that language, but my real reason is....i don't want friends and family finding out about my fade so they won't start calling me and bugging me.
I guess I'm officially on the other side, because I kind of consider it a compliment to be told that I sound like I have the independent thinking of an apostate. my mind can't even imagine the least amount of contempt for this statement.
IMO, I grew up really poor... and this is a mentality you'll hit even by worldly peers "What you wanna move up?? You to good for us??" It is an ideology that is met with a lot of criticism in certain social groupings... I don't think it is unique to JW's at all. Her reasoning for her objection is JW centric, but I would be willing to guess the root of it goes much deeper.
the other thread (opposite in nature) is really touching and i enjoyed reading everyone's experiences.
i saw a few people who were still in share how scared they were of that outcome, so i thought positive stories of how you managed to save your marriage while leaving the organization might be nice.
so, what is your story?
I really appreciate everyone's stories!
Ronin- I am in complete agreement. Being out has not in any way made our marriage suffer. Quite the opposite really. Once we recovered and adapted a little, it really started to get good. We've been together 10 years and each year since leaving just gets better.
there is this xjw i know that i grew up with and we have kept in touch over the years.
he was df'd as a teenager, moved away and never looked back.
"k" has family he keeps in touch with.
There is a time and a place to walk away and move on... even from family. Some are toxic. I can say from experience that blood is not always thicker than water.
I am surprised though that it never got around to them before!
the other thread (opposite in nature) is really touching and i enjoyed reading everyone's experiences.
i saw a few people who were still in share how scared they were of that outcome, so i thought positive stories of how you managed to save your marriage while leaving the organization might be nice.
so, what is your story?
It shocked me to, and made me feel really guilty as well. It is fair to say though that he was not a die hard. When we met he was in college, we were always there on sundays but rarely in service or weekday meetings. I think his biggest reason for being there still was familial expectations. He'd been DF'd before and didn't like being the black sheep of his family. Can't say I blamed him...
I can only imagine how much harder it would be for someone who is really immersed in it.
the other thread (opposite in nature) is really touching and i enjoyed reading everyone's experiences.
i saw a few people who were still in share how scared they were of that outcome, so i thought positive stories of how you managed to save your marriage while leaving the organization might be nice.
so, what is your story?
For me, my decision to leave came very quick. It had been brewing for years. I wanted to either sink or swim, I was sick of being a "weak" one. So I asked the elders to approve me for a study and they assigned a pioneer to me. It was the first time I took the studies seriously at all- including looking up "worldly" scholars quoted by the society, lexicons, etc. We only studied a few weeks, then I went from "I want to study" to "I'm leaving". I'm sure it took my husband off guard.
He asked why, and I didn't try and convince him of anything. I used "I statements" kept it about me and how I felt, and avoided placing blame. I talked about what I felt lacked in my childhood and how I wanted different experience for my kids. I said how I had always been so unhappy as a witness and that at this point I didn't care if I died... but that I just wanted to enjoy the life I had in a positive way. I pointed out his grandparents who have given their life to the organization and how unhappy they seemed. The end hasn't come in their life time, and that I didn't want to give my life waiting for an end that might or might not come. I'd rather live the life I *knew* I had, and if I died, I died. I didn't see the point in trying to convince him that the end wouldn't come. I think I even said something about how even being a JW doesn't secure me from not dying, I have to always give 100% of myself to preaching and studying to really assure me a "spot". "I just don't have it in me" I told him.
I tried to keep doctrinal debate to a minimum and chose carefully and worded my objections as questions. He tried to answer my questions, but ended up asking me to talk to some elders- which I obliged. I was careful and "meek" in my delivery and asked questions- very careful not to outright say I didn't believe.
My feelings hadn't changed after doing what he asked so I told him I couldn't continue to go, but that I would continue to support him in going and we could work out the details on how often the kids could go. I pointed out his other grandparents (one believer one not) and my grandparents (two different non-JW religions). I made it clear that I supported him, and always would... and knew he would support me as well.
I told him repeatedly that I loved him and that I wanted to let go of the religion, but NOT him. That above everything else, I wanted to keep close to him through this. That the only thing I couldn't stand to lose was his love, which was true.
I know not all will get an answer so surprising from a believing mate, but after the shock wore off and acceptance came in, he decided to leave with me. He didn't enjoy meetings enough to do it alone, much less alone with kids. It kind of shattered his world, because he had always hoped he'd marry a pioneer to "carry" the family spiritually. I guess in his heart he wasn't much of a believer himself. He had rarely seen one partner leave and not have it eventually tear them up... so he left with me. That wasn't what I wanted, honestly... I didn't want to be his reason for leaving.
I won't lie, the next couple years were a real trial for us. We didn't quite know how to relate to the world, how to make friends, how to thrive outside the confines of the organization. I'm sure there was some bitterness to me for taking away our social structure and his family in a big way. It took us awhile to find our feet. He eventually has come to his own conclusions about the organizations and no longer regards it as a truth... but it was his own journey, I didn't push it on him.
the other thread (opposite in nature) is really touching and i enjoyed reading everyone's experiences.
i saw a few people who were still in share how scared they were of that outcome, so i thought positive stories of how you managed to save your marriage while leaving the organization might be nice.
so, what is your story?
The other thread (opposite in nature) is really touching and I enjoyed reading everyone's experiences. I saw a few people who were still in share how scared they were of that outcome, so I thought positive stories of how you managed to save your marriage while leaving the organization might be nice.
So, what is your story?