Posts by xig28

14

a relationship still going...

by xig28 in

hello i posted here a few months back in february about a situation i had with a jw girl.

if i last recall from that time she wasnt "feeling" me during that time.

but now all that has changed.

hello again people. so im posting again with a situation i find interesting. it doesnt neccesarily involve my jw girl. so my grandmother who is also a jw was somehow told that i wanted to be apart or study up for the jw. now when i heard this i started laughing in way but thought about it thinking it could be a good experiment and just go along with it. i know how they really are, i know what they will try to do(since i seen it many times b4 and read much about it here as well). if they pressure me im just gonna back off. i just want to see how they are even though they will be nice at first. im not one to get persuaded easily since im stubborn especially in religion. i told my jw girl about this and obviously she was happy about it but got a bit too ahead of herself asking me when im gonna start taking studies, asking her any doubt i have about the religion. the problem is that im not gonna be able to talk to her for the next week and half because she will be busy setting up things for a party and that she went over he phone bill. i feel like this would be the best time to get information out from both sides. why they think they are the "truth" and what others say why they are not. i just need good information on contradicting the religion. not trying to upset them but i want to make her think when i talk to her again. so does anyone have some good sites, links to go to for info. one the religion and how to "make them think a bit outside the box".i found some good links but i just need a alot more info. it wont be easy but i would like to take my shot at it.

-xig28

35

What do you want out of your relationship?

by Bumble Bee in

i know there have been alot of threads lately about what men want, what women want etc, but i'd like to hear what you want out of your relationship, be it marriage, living together, or whatever.

what is it you are looking for in a relationship?

what do you want the relationship to fulfill for you individually and as a couple?.

xig28

IM gonna try and make this as simple and understandable as possible. the only thing i want out of a relationship is her happiness. really everything can only be worth it FOR ME if i can keep that happiness in her. and to just stay together forever.

14

a relationship still going...

by xig28 in

hello i posted here a few months back in february about a situation i had with a jw girl.

if i last recall from that time she wasnt "feeling" me during that time.

but now all that has changed.

xig28

jgnat. i have thought have that b4. i kinda figured the reason why they never bring it up again was because it will soon fade away. and i wont lie maybe i am in school, young, maybe getting heart broken if things dont go my way, but that wont stop me from trying to stay with her. i always have thought that her parents, and other people in the religion will most liekly try to introduce her to other people and such.But why say they would be in denial especially saying she is in denial as well? i would assume like you say that they think she will lose interest me some time later on but they dont know much about our relationship. thankfully her parents didnt ask her everyhting about us. actually another thing to add she has been introduced to other "brothers" but she has no interest in them at all. she tells me she talks to them but has no interest in them at all. over time i will keep undating on our situation.

14

a relationship still going...

by xig28 in

hello i posted here a few months back in february about a situation i had with a jw girl.

if i last recall from that time she wasnt "feeling" me during that time.

but now all that has changed.

xig28

hello i posted here a few months back in february about a situation i had with a jw girl. if i last recall from that time she wasnt "feeling" me during that time. but now all that has changed. me and her are stronger then ever(or so how we both see it). we admitted our true feelings to each other a month ago. right now everyhitng is going great. of course she may still be a jw, she never always seem to bring up the topic or even mention her religion at all unless i ask about her meetings she has. i wouldnt say she isnt afraid to talk about or forgets about it(cus we both know its still there). though i just have a quick question to ask you guys. most jw parents are strict when it comes to dating,talking, being around non-jw people. what is most reactions to when they find out about, for example a jw girl talking to a non-jw boy? do they tell them that never to talk to them again, they are bad people.etc? i ask is because her parents kind of found out about us awhile ago. they only thing they told her is to not talk to me on the phone again, her dad sorta threatning her to put her in home school at the time. so she "pretended" to break off the talk with me. But what was strange with when she told me what else happen is that her parents never brought it up again nor said anything else about it. they know she talks to me at school but school will end in a week so they most likely think she wont talk to me during the summer. so yea can anyone answer my question earlier of most jw parents reactions?

14

what to say?

by xig28 in

hello i just started a new profile here but i have been wandering around here for awhile.i have seen many stories somewhat similar to what i have right now.

i have read many post from people here and they have been somewhat helpful ,but now i need help with a little of my own problem.

for future refrences i apologize if my story isnt as descriptive as i want it to be but please read until the very end.. well for starters i am 16, yes i am young and have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy but idk if i can fully enjoy it but please just listen to my story.

xig28

hello pioneer i appreciate the post you put and it encourage me a bit as well. but i think you mis-took what i said as in "her first" she wants her first love to be her last. which i mean that she wants her first relationship to last until the end, but really that only happens in move(at least in my opinion) its just that i have lost 3 important poeple in my life earlier and i couldnt do anything about because i was just too young and didnt know how. and seeing her in this religion just tares me apart because it isnt good. because sooner or later she will find out, and in a way that is how i want her to know the "real" truth of her religion. liek all young jw they never want to hear the badside of something but thats pretty much everything in everyone. but hey the truth sometimes always hurts us. i just only wished i met her outside of the religion.

the other day i had an important talk with her about us. we talked about her religion and i asked her if she is really happy where she is. she obviously said "yes" and has gone too far to go back. i really respect her and just want to show her how much she means to me sadley though she thinks though it cant go forward because we both are of different religion. right there i wanted to say something, but i didnt want to upset her in any way. she kept asking me why people keep trying when they know they will never get it. well i think she doesnt get it. were only human we are not perfect we will do whatever it takes and it wont matter how long it will take. its almost as if she wanted me to stop trying but you know what.......after a day of thinking about what she told i feel like trying harder. i will try but at the same time as i mention b4 i dont want to take away what comforts her right now. i just want to show her that there is always someone out there waiting for her. that alone shows that i will never give up.

you know you have somehow provided me with some hope and not only that i somehow provided myself with some hope as well.thank you!! i will keep you updated on the situation

-xig28

14

what to say?

by xig28 in

hello i just started a new profile here but i have been wandering around here for awhile.i have seen many stories somewhat similar to what i have right now.

i have read many post from people here and they have been somewhat helpful ,but now i need help with a little of my own problem.

for future refrences i apologize if my story isnt as descriptive as i want it to be but please read until the very end.. well for starters i am 16, yes i am young and have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy but idk if i can fully enjoy it but please just listen to my story.

xig28

you prove a very good point dave. almost anyone in a picture will look happy. but some can see through the fake happiness in pictures. but hey im the one looking for answers. i will look up on some topic especially the one you brought up as well and see what i can find.

-xig28

14

what to say?

by xig28 in

hello i just started a new profile here but i have been wandering around here for awhile.i have seen many stories somewhat similar to what i have right now.

i have read many post from people here and they have been somewhat helpful ,but now i need help with a little of my own problem.

for future refrences i apologize if my story isnt as descriptive as i want it to be but please read until the very end.. well for starters i am 16, yes i am young and have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy but idk if i can fully enjoy it but please just listen to my story.

xig28

hello i just started a new profile here but i have been wandering around here for awhile.i have seen many stories somewhat similar to what i have right now. i have read many post from people here and they have been somewhat helpful ,but now i need help with a little of my own problem. for future refrences i apologize if my story isnt as descriptive as i want it to be but please read until the very end.

Well for starters i am 16, yes i am young and have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy but idk if i can fully enjoy it but please just listen to my story. About 5 1/2 months ago i met who i feel is one of the most beautiful girl inside and out. i have 2 classes with her and we pretty much have been hanging out ever since then. always talking about something new, we always make each other laugh. we just make each other happy. as time past our friendship had grown stronger and stronger everyday. in my mind i feel that this girl has got everything I want and she most likely felt the same way as well. i felt so sure that we would have a good relationship. one day i asked her if she can ever see herself with me. she said "yes" and i felt so damn happy but she told me she would want her "first" to be her "last". i just thought for a bit on that.....

it was holloween and we were hanging out during p.e since we didnt have to do anyhting. we were walking around and i asked what is she gonna do for holloween. she said nothing and myself being curious i asked why. she just went on saying that she doesnt like holloween and i just let the conversation go. 2 minutes later she tells me she is a jehovah witness. i looked down for a bit and then looked at her for a bit and told her" so thats why i get it" jokely trying to keep a positive mood but deep down i didnt like it.she has been baptized since she was 13(she is 15 right now). i knew about the jw but not very much because a few of my family members(who are now DF) were jw. so i dropped her off to where her parents pick her up. i leave feeling a bit depressed because i seen what they go through.

a few weeks passed by we still hang out with each other but we never really talk about her religion because i respect her and she respect me as well. one rainy day we were walking after school adn we sort of talked abit about the jw religion. i asked question like "why did you join the religion?", "what made you feel this was right" not so very good question that would take me deep into the religion. she said that she believes everything in the bible ,but i felt the need to question her how and why is everything is true? she just said it all made sense to her but i just looked at her with a questionable look on my face. i didnt want to keep going because i just didnt know enough to really make sense to what i was saying. i was just trying and she just looked at the floor a bit quiet(dont know if that meant anyhting but pretty sure it does).

to present time now we still talk as strong as ever. nothing has changed. i have visited one of her concert. she met my mom and i met one of her best friends. her parents didnt know who i was and didnt see me talkign to her. really we can see that we trust each other already. we both are not afraid to say what is on our mind. i am what i would call "semi-in love" with this girl. but really if this girl were to leave the religion i would do EVERYTHING i can to make her happy. i would never ever want to see her sad. though who knows

at one time though a week ago when i started reading many post on here i was determined to help her out from how her religion isnt right.........though a few days ago she showed me a scrapbook of her through her lifetime. pictures of her with her mom and dad, her best friends, etc. as i looked, i looked at the expression on her face in every picture. (if i havent mention before she is an only child). she looked so happy in those pic. with her dad, her best friends everything. then i thought to myself" wow.......she looks so happy." though her book on the last page is her and her dad in brazil smiling. then at top it says "to be continued". lately i have been thinking hard and alot, and i want to ask you the same question i asked myself. do i really want to take her away from all of this? do i really want to take her away from her friends and family? it just seemed so hard. ask yourself the same question. if you cared for someone sooooo much and showed you something that shows how happy they are with their friends and family in the religion do you really want to take that away? shoot if its possible i would try to pull her parents, her, and some of her best friends out of the religion. but i just dont know. please i need your help people. i probably know my answer to my question but i most likely dont. if there is anything question about what else you would like to know about the situation that i didnt input in here please tell me and i will definatly answer right away. i know there is probably alot that you would like to know more from my situation. also if you know any topics of her religion that in a way i can talk to her and make her think a bit. because i know she will think about what i say.

-xig28

51

Hardcore evangelical intellectual just fell for an enlightened JW girl

by Stuartmc in

i'm new here, but am mightily impressed with the insights, care and compassion exhibited here.

i like to briefly share my story and receive some insights and "good counsel" from you good folks.

here goes- i'm a 49 year old lawyer, whose been divorced for 8 years.

xig28

sonny i just want to ask you question from what you said. why do you say jw just want to have a good time? so your saying they just like using the heart for the wrong reason? yes they will feel guilt but then they will retunr to their religion for help right or wrong? im just curious because i dont think they are like that right?

12

Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all ?

by strawberry cake in

in other words from the jw point of view, only marry another jw.

he also quoted some anonymous person who said that.. "what is worst than being single is being married to the wrong person"....personally, my view is "it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?"..

the wts are allowing many, mainly sisters to live lonely lives because of this directive to only marry other jws.

xig28

strawberry cake. i appriciate the honest answer from you, but remember that she isnt my girlfriend. though even if she can do what she likes whether she is baptized or not, even though i dont like the way it sounds cant she keep it a secret or as you said she will confess it to her hall? im just wondering because she is young but i dont think she would do that.

12

Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all ?

by strawberry cake in

in other words from the jw point of view, only marry another jw.

he also quoted some anonymous person who said that.. "what is worst than being single is being married to the wrong person"....personally, my view is "it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?"..

the wts are allowing many, mainly sisters to live lonely lives because of this directive to only marry other jws.

xig28

hi i am new to these boards!

in somewhat i would agree with this very well. you cant live life to its fullest until you are loved by that special person. although i am 16 and i understand i am young and i have my whole life-time ahead me, i am in what i call "semi-in love" with a jw girl. i havent fallen in true love until i know for a fact that its true. i would do just about anyhting to make her happy. though i wouldnt turn myself into a jw even if she tells to. But what good would come out of it? i would be doing it for her but not for the lord which is a bad thing. the good thing though in our relationship(i am not with her but we know that we both care for each other a lot) is that we can understand each other and she never really pressures me to be a jw. although i have a question. once a jw is baptized can they actually have a relationship with a non-jw or it isnt possible? becausei have asked a few people and they say i can have a relation with her, but others say i cant? what is it?

-xig28