Posts by JoyNichols

87

~ Your feelings on aging ~

by FlyingHighNow in

jw
friends

so, we aren't going to stay young and never die.

how do you feel about aging, especially those of you that are over 35?

aging poses some concerns for me, especially since i am 49 and pretty much single.

JoyNichols

Great topic!

I'm faced with finally returning to college to finish my degree because of the same issues - retirement, body changing.

I'm trying to judge less and accept more, but it's not always easy. Self-care has become a big issue and insurance is a must. I have to change careers and go back to school or I have no hope for a retirement or travel - something I've always dreamt of doing a lot of. Without going back to school, there's also little hope for getting proper health care.

I hate the aches and pains that are a part of my daily life - something I only experienced once a month in my 20's and 30's.

It's not all bad. I feel more confident now and know a lot more than I did then, but that doesn't change the challenges. Despite that, I am learning to worry less and stay in the here and now. That's a refreshing change for me.

63

3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?

by The Scotsman in

jw
friends

well my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.

i noticed that she was not in bed.

i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!

JoyNichols

"I can't go to that hall myself!"

Emotional blackmail?

63

3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?

by The Scotsman in

jw
friends

well my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.

i noticed that she was not in bed.

i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!

JoyNichols

When's movie night at your house?Maybe it's time for some beer, popcorn and pizza . . . get a nice romantic movie andThe Village. Watch both movies.

Ask your wife for her responses to The Village, then later on . . .

Tell her that a former witness (me) told you that she now realizes living the JW life was just like living in the village - artificial, full of fear and loathing.

It was also a lie, pure and simple. You don't need to say any of that to someone who's ready to leave or who's at least ready to 'wake up,' but I don't know if she would 'get it' without a bit of prompting.

Good luck.

14

Skipping Book Studders

by IcingHeart in

jw
friends

yep, told the family i had a headache and wasn't feeling well.

.

suckers!!

JoyNichols

oh yeah, and Sundays, esp. this time of year, are good for allergies - wait til after the mtg goers LEAVE to go get your anti-allergy meds so you have an excuse to go play on Sunday, hahhhah

14

Skipping Book Studders

by IcingHeart in

jw
friends

yep, told the family i had a headache and wasn't feeling well.

.

suckers!!

JoyNichols

good for you, you lyin' liar!enjoy the evening! I forgot it was Tuesday night. ewww tuesday and thursday night studies and ministerial misery school! I think Thursday night you deserve a good stomach virus, heh heh!

3

HOW do they SURVIVE ?

by Hope4Others in

how do they survive?

i asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"so i can't order a half dozen nuggets, but i can order six?

JoyNichols

Good Gawd!

PS In addition to blaming the educational system, we could also assume that some of these people must have developmental disabilities that the educational system cannont fix - not with 12 years of school, nor with 1200 years of school.

11

Nightmares?

by KKLUV155 in

jw
friends

while growing up i used to have the most horrible nightmares.

i dreamed of demons almost every night that i can remember.

when i grew up and got married and left the borg, i no longer had nightmares.

JoyNichols

As a child, I had terrible insomnia and was a little afraid of the dark. I was very fearful of demons. Now I know it is all nonsense, but I still struggle with chronic social anxiety and frequent insomnia. I have gotten a good deal of relief through therapy and anti-depressants, though.

The Great Tribulation was not as scary an idea (oddly enough) as was demonization. I was truly frightened of that. I often hid under my blankets and suppressed my breathing to "hide" from demons at night. It's a wonder I didn't suffocate.

I was also very afraid of getting caught masturbating, LOL! That was a huge worry cuz I did it a lot.

22

Anyone else ever do this

by superman in

jw
friends

i remember how much emphasis the org used to put on studying your publications, and how looking at other peoples books during the meeting was like seeing a lazar show with bright, hot, multicolored, florescent highlighted pages.

but i never personally enjoyed studying (even when i was more hardcore in it) so since i used to have privileges/responsibilities one of the requirements was to study for all the meetings, so before the meetings i would take a hot yellow and florescent blue marker and quickly just start marking up my books so that it looked like it was studied.

sometimes to look even more spiritual i would take a pen and start writing random crap in the margins, even scribble lines so from far away it looked likes cursive.

JoyNichols

I never realized that Witnesses did such things until I came here. It's good to know this stuff. I've heard about a lot of this kind of thing on this site. It reminds me of Jerry Lewis' movie where he's trying to look busy, and wears himself out pretending to do stuff at work.

16

is it true that jws teach it is ok to lie and conceal from a new study?

by looloo in

i remember after i had been inviting in a couple of ladys to chat a few times (but i was not a study at this point) i asked outright if me and my kids would be destroyed at armageddon , and one of them replied "yes you will if you are not a jw " i was terrified , i rang my dad and he said to tell them to piss off nxt time they come because they are a cult , how i wish i had listened , but i started a study , and i remeber an elder telling me that the other lady that used to call on me cringed when her friend said to me outright that yes you will be destroyed, and had wished she had put it differently (lied perhaps ) this elder told me that when you study you may not like everthing you learn but its like being given a meal , just because you dont like something on your plate dosnt mean you cant eat the rest of the meal !!!!!

is it in their literature to lie to studys ?

i know that a lot of jws have said they havnt heard about the michael porter and local child molester scandal when people have mentioned it on the ministery, there is no way that can be true considering the coverage it got , do you think it is announced at the hall to pretend they know nothing so they dont have to discuss it ?

JoyNichols

I believe it's called "theocratic warfare."

22

Do U Look Down On People Who Remain As JWs ..1's u think should no better?

by minimus in

jw
friends

do you find yourself looking down on people who you think should know better but still hang on to the religion?

JoyNichols

No one should look down on children for believing in fairy tales. The only thing to do is to question and question. Maybe questions open the mind more than anything else?