i've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
I'm in a bit of a catch 22, situation even If I have doubts about Jw's divine or otherwise, the alternatives are slim, I either completely give up christianity or embrace the idolatory of the cross :\
Baby is good and kicking like mad tonight, probs trying to get in on the discussion :)
i've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
I believe science is not an exact science! especially as a recent fossil find of a large wolf-like mammal with a half eaten dinosaur in it's belly means hundreds of dinosaur books will have to be rewritten, Science is not an infallable tool and can change with every new discovery or scientific opinion.
i've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
you know what! I think I do believe the flood happenned :)
i've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
Lol I got all the 'Flooding' kicked out of me as a regular on the Atheist forums, it's a favourite of theirs, second only to where's proof of exodus and jesus's miracles. I would say those 3 are the mainstays of atheists arguements against the bible, with agnostics it's mainly the 'he can't be a God from the bible because he creates to much suffering.
It did occur to me once a scenario where God could do the type of 'destroy everybody' thing with some justification and that is if we were ourselves about to destroy the earth and he had to step in to stop us? I wonder could we have the amount of scientific power to do that and unknowingly put the earth in great peril and could that justify him stepping in ruthlessly?
You know when I was a practising Witness and went to the memorial everytime time, I wasn't this evil alien being with a loving smile plastered on my face waiting to suck people in, I was just a normal person usually wondering if I'd locked the front door lol I always was in rush memorial night! The thing is I remember people fading from our congregation and I have to admit as a shy sister I never visited a lot but when I did sometimes it was made quite clear I was unwanted at their homes,
We say after DF/DA or just fading, witnesses shun us but if we are honest and you find the JW's isn't for you, don't you yourselves do a bit of the pushing away? I know I did, I'll be honest when I faded, I deliberately avoided witnesses always making sure I wasn't home at likely visiting times and I also moved away out of old friends reach because some did still try and encourage me to come back.
I just don't remember being as borg-like as you would have me be when I was a witness, I just remember loving Jehovah and shock horror! I enjoyed the door to door work, I also had some good friends who were real and I think would still talk to me if I contacted them but I choose not too especially as I'm not sure I want to go back.
ok, so i've been df'd for almost a year now, and out of the blue my dad asked me to go out for drinks with him.
this is big because he's an elder in my former hall.
he's only seen me once in the year i've been out, at my (step)grandfather's funeral (his father in law).
I don't agree with the second posters advice at all, If your father has come to you out of love then thats what you should give him back, to use it as an opportunity to try and deconvert him would make you as bad as what you hate in the witnesses, that being said it sounds like you have a great relationship with your father and from what you said you both love each other enough to work things out, I really hope it works out for you there.
I did want to ask one question, your post makes it unclear if your not wanting your stepmom in your life is a personal thing or just because she is a witness?
i've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
Sounds like yopu found a mad 'old bird' there sirona :)
I have to say biblically God did do the Flood thing and more than 99% was killed then, so there is a past of him doing it, I have also just read in exodus him offering to get rid of israelites for moses and have moses seed be the chosen ones he was so upset with the israelites hard-heartedness, Luckily moses managed to dissuade him.
I also think we as men are no different, 2 nuclear bombs dropped without thought of the innocent on towns and bombings by terrorists in town centres, school shootings etc make me wonder can we throw stones that way? I often wonder how I would feel if I was God looking down at us and the millions of ways we find to torture and kill each other, if I would be as ruthless as the flood was? See I told you guys I think to much!
Although if I was stood in front of God now and could ask him a question,... I would ask him "Why couldn't you have made the bible clearer for us, so all this diversity in beliefs could have at least been not so bad.?" You know that would be a good thread header I just thought of it..."If you could ask God one question what would it be?"
i've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
Memorial isn't so bad it's fairly short and has a lot of bible scriptures something that always appeals to me :)
you know I had a bad experiance the other week, I fell over in the park while pregnant luckily no harm done accept a cut head and a black eye but what really got to me was a few people in the area saw me fall and no-one came to help me or ask if I was ok, You say the witnesses may shun me thats possible but as you can see from my first post, whats really is getting to me is sometimes things happen that really do make me think the World is "worldly" I ended up walking slowly to casualty my face bleeding no one who passed me even noticed me or did anything.
I am disillusioned with the world is there a forum for that :s
i'm new here, but am mightily impressed with the insights, care and compassion exhibited here.
i like to briefly share my story and receive some insights and "good counsel" from you good folks.
here goes- i'm a 49 year old lawyer, whose been divorced for 8 years.
Ask youself one question....Can you love her if she stays a witness?
That is the important one because no relationship even with a weak JW will last if you go into thinking "well hey shes a Witness but I can change her" or "she's weak enough to deconvert"
this is a principle that works with whatever faith you are if it's different from your partners. If you start dispising someone for what they believe then that is a relationship killer because there is no way with someone so emotionally close to you that they won't feel it and react to it.
Relationships can work if you can respect each others point of view and faiths, if they leave their faith or come to your viewpoint alls well and good but see that as a bonus.
i left about 8 years ago, at the grand old age of 24, basically being an unmarried mum of 1 (baptised when my girl was 11months old) and the 'tipping point for me' when elder sisters tried to set me up for marriage to a 64year old elder, as that would be the only man willing to marry a girl such as myself.
i ran away, i moved 300miles away.
there should be a witness pretection programme ;).
I feel for you chiki sister mine, I was there and know that those sisters were a silly bunch that treated you badly but I don't peronsally think a little abstinence is a bad thing, the alternate is 4 million abortions world wide, STD's on the increase inc nasty symptomless ones like clymidia that can leave you infertile before you even realise you have it, Free sex may seem nice but it should come with a warning tag especially for younger people.
what are the questions elders ask you before baptism ?
and what do you have to say at baptism ?
From what I remember it's not a quiz its more of an informal study were they just go over everything you learned and see if you are happy and ready, I think they just prefer you to be honest with what you want and your answers.
