I'm with you, Mickey. Realizing there was no true love there was the worst thing I've ever been through, and the longest period of time I've ever mourned.
There had been several times I thought I had hit bottom - divorce; alcoholic, loveless marriage; estranged family members. Boy, they didn't even come close.
But somehow even after I was gone, I was still thinking it was the "truth" and I had no hope spiritually because I couldn't hang.
So you are already ahead of the game there, I'd say. I guess the more whole-souled you are, the worse it is when love is unrequited.