Oompa: BTW....the entire point of this thread is "it's time to consider going my seperate way!"............and trying to see if there is SOME WAY TO AVOID THAT!!!!!...............thanks for you input Dude.....................oompa
I certainly don't envy your situation. One thing I will say is that I think most JWs who were married, ended up doing most everything together since the JWs take up so much of your time, you don't get a chance to develop any of your own interests. Her friends were your friends, and vice versa. You can't communicate openly and honestly with her, so I don't really think your relationship will endure. Once communication breaks down, the relationship starts to slide.
One thing I will mention, that from what I've seen in my older friends both gay and straight, the healthiest relationships seem to be the ones where each partner has their own interests and spends a portion of their daily / weekly lives engaging in those activities separately. With one set of my friends one of them loves to travel, the other hates it. So one takes exotic trips on their own once a year or twice, and the other stays home. Both love it. They do compromise, and take one joint vacation (which has to be in driving distance or a direct, non-stop flight) per year. The one partner accepts his boyfriend hates to travel and allows him to stay home even though he would prefer him to come along. Likewise, the non-traveling partner accepts the other's need to travel and doesn't begrudge him for going without him even though if he had his choice his boyfriend would just stay home and cuddle instead. They realize the other person sates their needs about 85% of the time. For that other 15% they figure out other ways of getting what they need. Do you toss aside the 85% of what is good, and ideal for the 15% which isn't? Only you can answer that question.
As you mentioned, she won't go to a basketball or football game with you. If she did compromise, and go do something she didn't like, would it not be fair for her to ask you to do something you don't enjoy, say, go to a Sunday meeting with her? You have to decide what's fair, and what you can live with.
Just like with my boyfriend, he has his friends, and I have mine, yet we also have 'common' friends. I think now that you are 'worldly' you need to remember or realize that more than likely you and a new partner / spouse will have much varying interests you like to pursue. I can't imagine trying to live like you are, but maybe your situation is workable still? Perhaps not.
Any chance of getting her to look into other religious beliefs at all, rather than the full blown 'apostate' issue? Marriage counseling? In any event, trust your heart, make your decision carefully, and live your life as fully as you can.
Cheers!
