HappyHeathen

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Posts by HappyHeathen

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  10

  Is it really the ex-JW thing?

  by Introspection in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  today i was thinking sometimes what people feel that others can't relate to isn't this whole history of having been a jw.. just curious, anyone out there feel that way?

  i guess this is here because of the relationship bit, a bit general though i suppose.

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  HappyHeathen

  Introspection,
  If you mean you've noticed that people can't relate to our experiences as J.W.'s, I agree. I have been gone from the borg a long time now and feel fully integrated into the world except in that sense. In fact, I don't even tell new friends that I was a witness and the reasons for that are two-fold. First, they never really understand, so what is the point? Second, I decided that I wanted to leave it all behind, reinvent myself and become a whole person again. To some extent, I've been successful doing that, except I've discovered this board and become addicted! So what does that say about whether I've left it all behind??? It's good to be among friends....
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  15

  Halloween!! What do I dooooooooo!!!!!!

  by expatbrit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok this will be my first year participating in halloween.

  i grew up a jw, so have never enjoyed it as a kid or as an adult.. so, i need some guidance!.

  what do i do when the little bastards come to the door?.

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  HappyHeathen

  Once you get into it, Halloween is great! One year we decorated our frontyard like a cemetary using dry ice for fog, and all the adults dressed up like ghouls. Some of the little kids wouldn't even come in our yard, but the older ones got a big kick out of it. We put a recording of Bach's tacotta and fugue in D-minor on the stereo for background music. It was like making up for all the years we missed out!

  As far as how much candy to buy, ask your neighbors. Some neighborhoods get a lot more children than others. One year, after I moved to a condo, I bought a ton of candy and only three kids showed up. :-(. Darn, I had to eat all the leftovers!
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  156

  I'm Screwed Up, You're Screwed Up

  by Farkel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have not followed very many threads of late, so if someone has already made the same observations i'm about to make, i apologize for my redundancy.. .

  i admit it: i'm part of a highly secretive, highly elite group.

  (we have to drink two quarts of fresh yak blood and get a tattoo of a pentagram on our butts as part of of the initiation.

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  HappyHeathen

  "To single out jw's as somehow needing more love, more understanding, because of being screwed by their experience over jews, mormons, taliban believers, whatever, doesn't quite *do.* Of course, most of those don't come on this forum ---- but to say that jw's or x-jw's are more nuts than the average person might be able to be discussed."

  Waiting,
  Jews and Mormons have their share of problems, I'm sure. But I have friends in both groups and can attest that their world view is much more optimistic than J.W.'s nor are they as isolated. I went with my Mormon friends to their temple a few times and, of course, they tried their darndest to convert me but eventually gave it up. None of them quit associating with me, nor did their church tell them that they must. Both Jews and Mormons advocate higher education and encourage all kinds of social outlets for their people. Compared to J.W., they really are much more "part of the world" and tens times more well adjusted than J.W's.

  BTW: This is a good thread, Farkel. Am I sticking to the subject?
  HH
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  25

  Shunning is worse than the worst crime possible

  by Richie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have come to the conclusion that the shunning practices of the jw's are in fact worse than the worst crime committed.

  just imagine, your own daughter shunning you, not wanting to see me or her first son (my grandson).

  whenever i walk around in the village i live and i happen to encounter jw's, they don't even acknowledge that i exist at all!!.

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  HappyHeathen

  Richie,
  You are a person of strong character to walk away from the org with so much to lose. I applaud you for being true to yourself.

  Nelly126,
  Removing your daughter from her grandmother's influence and physical abuse is the right thing to do. That is another unfortunate thing about J.W's -- many are so ignorant about more enlightened ways of bringing up children. I cringed when I saw how many mothers at the KH would smack their children in front of everyone because they were frustrated that the kid wouldn't sit perfectly still during the meetings. But then it's obvious the WT doesn't value children by the way their needs are ignored.

  Englishman,
  Saw "Sliding Doors" and loved it. Also been a Monty Python fan for 30 years.
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  11

  Good people in the WTS

  by Introspection in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  i sometimes think there may be people who will be largely unaffected by the organization crashing down, by virtue of them actually being good hearted people.

  naturally the psychological shock will be there if they didn't see it coming at all, but i really think for some people the religion doesn't touch the core of who they are.

  (actually, i think that's the case for everyone, but since this is a free country you're free to believe otherwise ;) ) so, do you know anyone like that?

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  HappyHeathen

  Introspection,
  Personalities have a lot to do with holding us in the WT long after the doubts begin. Long after you see behind the masks of most, there still are those amazing people -- the ones who remain so strong and faithful year after year. They were usually the quiet ones who just plodded along in service every week, always so sweet and sincere, returning good for evil, just like the Bible says. If someone like that brings you into the organization and you form a strong bond with that person, I can see why it would be hard to leave. I often think about some of those folks and wonder how they have fared since I left.
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  25

  Shunning is worse than the worst crime possible

  by Richie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have come to the conclusion that the shunning practices of the jw's are in fact worse than the worst crime committed.

  just imagine, your own daughter shunning you, not wanting to see me or her first son (my grandson).

  whenever i walk around in the village i live and i happen to encounter jw's, they don't even acknowledge that i exist at all!!.

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  HappyHeathen

  Richie,
  Thanks for your kind words. It feels so good to vent! And only you people really understand. Years back, when my daughter first disassociated me, I confided in a few of my friends – they tried to be sympathetic as best they could but somehow I felt I was being “judged” in some strange way for ever having been in that bizarre cult. Only ex-JW’s can truly comprehend how being in that religion can leave your life and family in ruins through no fault of your own. So I stopped talking to anyone about her.

  Richie, there is always hope for your daughters, so don’t give up on them. Everyone in my family except my mom stopped speaking to me for three years when I was disfellowshipped. Then gradually, one by one, they made their exits, too. Those were painful years, but now they seem like a bad dream that has faded with time. Except for the loss of my daughter, we are a happy, close family again. And I have two sons with my second husband now.

  And you’re right, I would never, ever want to go back. Sometimes I have nightmares of finding myself back in the kingdom hall sitting through a WT study or waiting to go in service with that old feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Does anyone else ever have those nightmares?

  Richie, bless you, you sound like such a sweetie.

  HH
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  67

  Favourite Live Performer:

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've seen loads of live acts, back when i was a "young person asking" i watched the crystals, heinz, johnny kid and the pirates, brenda lee, joe brown and others all on one show.

  so very innocent!.

  come my eventual departure from dubdom, i resolved to see all these bad people playing their music live.

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  HappyHeathen

  Anybody like reggae? Such as Bob Marley, Third World, or Steel Pulse?

  Seen many of my other favorites here already -- Neil Young, Jimi Hendrix, the Doors, Beatles, Rolling Stones, the Byrds.

  Also like some alternative stuff - Cranberries, Garbage, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam.
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  52

  Favorite Dead Performer

  by Yerusalyim in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  equal time, and given the spirit of the season, who is your favorite dead performer?.

  mine, buddy holly, though he just kinda laid there and oozed all over the stage.. yerusalyim.

  "vanity!

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  HappyHeathen

  Have to go with Stevie Ray Vaughn -- best guitar player ever!

  Second choice - Nat King Cole.
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  25

  Shunning is worse than the worst crime possible

  by Richie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have come to the conclusion that the shunning practices of the jw's are in fact worse than the worst crime committed.

  just imagine, your own daughter shunning you, not wanting to see me or her first son (my grandson).

  whenever i walk around in the village i live and i happen to encounter jw's, they don't even acknowledge that i exist at all!!.

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  HappyHeathen

  Richie,
  I’m very sorry for your pain regarding your daughter. I know how you feel since I haven’t seen my daughter in ten years. She teetered on the fence about getting baptized until she was 19 (in 1991) because she knew she’d have to cut ties with her “apostate mother” but finally gave in to pressure from the congregation and my ex-husband’s relatives. A few weeks later she invited me for a weekend visit, then broke the news to me that she could no longer associate with me, but said it was okay for me to take her and her husband out to dinner for one last time and, of course, pick up the check. She said, “Let’s have a good time since this is our last weekend together.” Needless to say, I wasn’t in a partying mood and cried all the way during the 90-mile drive home. Every once in a while I get a letter from her telling me that she still loves me and thinks of me every day of her life, begging me to come back to the organization. I suspect loneliness and desperation is the driver, I’m sure, since she’d be in big trouble with the congregation if they knew she was contacting me in any way.

  In my more insane moments, I actually consider going to the meetings long enough to get reinstated in order to establish contact with her again. But I know it would never work. All it would take is one visit to my home for her to realize that I am indeed one of the “worldly” people they must avoid – I celebrate Christmas, I vote, I work for a defense contractor, I give blood. How could I convincingly live such a lie? I have such bitterness towards those people for what they have stolen away from me.

  Just wanted you to know that there are others who share your pain. You are not alone.
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  21

  Reasons why its so hard to break from the WTS

  by Leander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm still sitting on the fence trying to figure out which direction to go in.

  i think one of the reasons i have'nt left yet is because of the fact that i'm not entirely sure that the wts is really not god's organization.. some of the reasons why i feel that way is because of their insight on the scripture.

  i've never heard of any other religion attempt to decipher the prophecies in the book of daniel and revelations.

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  HappyHeathen

  Yes, the WT provides their followers with some very pat explanations for very complex, cryptic prophecies. (Isn't that conveeeennnient?) I'll bet there were a lot of us who sat book studies ignoring the little voices in our heads that tried to tell us that, too. Even back during my years as a witness, I secretly thought the WT was arrogant in the way they deciphered prophecy. As seeker said, explaining that the "Seven Bowls" were 7 conventions back in 1920 ...puhleez. The sheer volume of their works and attempts to interpret every scripture in the Bible proves nothing really -- don't you know they must publish a couple books every year to justify their existence? At some point, they'll probably have 7 WT books for every book of Bible at the rate they're going.