The way my elder husband treated me for 20 years was very similar to how Afghan men treat their wives. I just wanted basic human rights like being able to have my witness parents visit or be able to visit them. I was his property and he was not going to share me with anyone.
It makes me ill that when I reached out for help (twice in 20 years) to an elder about my husbands headship being unbearable, I was squashed like a bug. It was the good ol boys club and I was a woman.