song19

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Posts by song19

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  46

  Letter to My Mother--FINAL!--After 2yrs3mos--Incomprehensibly Long...

  by Confession in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  [2 john 9 11, nwt].

  [john 14:6, nwt] .

  [john 14:6, nwt] .

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  song19

  Phenomenal letter. Can I use it?
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  50

  Struggling with the concept of a "God"

  by littleblueuk in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this topic, i'm sure, has been discussed many times, but today i am really contemplating the concept of god.. i remember vividly the old testament; the israelites slaughtering everyone in their path, men, women and children at god's direction at jericho, leaving no one alive.

  i remember thinking then as a child how cruel that was.

  there are many other examples.. then reading the news today i read a section in the world news about india.

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  song19

  Thinking of random chance...
  Given X number galaxys in the universe... containing Y numbers of stars.
  The odds for Earth like planets exists many times over...
  
  If, like God... The universe was infinite...
  There could be, by implication an infinite number or Earths...
  All by nothing more than random chance.

  Currientology... this is a good point... and my hubby and I were discussing this too. If we are a result of chance, and the universe is infinite... than I would believe 100% that there are more earths out there, or at least more walks of life. Sadly in our lifetime, we'll probably never know one way or the other.

  Ever since 'seeing the light', I have found this part of the journey difficult, not knowing what to believe... but I am glad I can do it without fear. If we were created and God gave us free will... than I exercise that right to think independently. Being FREE is such a relief... I can't believe I lived most of my life in fear. You know my mom left the Catholic Church because she couldn't believe in eternal torment in Hell after death... but that fear was replaced by the fear of eternal death at Armageddon... how I wish she could see that. How I wish I saw that sooner!
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  50

  Struggling with the concept of a "God"

  by littleblueuk in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this topic, i'm sure, has been discussed many times, but today i am really contemplating the concept of god.. i remember vividly the old testament; the israelites slaughtering everyone in their path, men, women and children at god's direction at jericho, leaving no one alive.

  i remember thinking then as a child how cruel that was.

  there are many other examples.. then reading the news today i read a section in the world news about india.

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  song19

  I have been recently thinking about this very topic. When I learned the truth about the truth, my prayers became more meaningful… I guess thankful for seeing the JWs as they really are. As I read more and more about how badly I was deceived, how my entire life was a lie, how I wasted my youth (still in the anger faze) I began to wonder if God listed to my prayers and if he even answered them. This led me to wonder if he is even there… and if he is, does he really care about us. Does he answer prayers? Because looking back I don’t think any of my prayers were answered. Why would God answer my prayers about trivial things; I am well taken care of with a roof over my head, good health, and food on the table… yet starving children are forced to watch their parents die in front of them if they themselves don’t die first. It makes me sick to my stomach that I prayed about such selfish things all while people were praying for a bite to eat or hope for a parent or child to live. Makes me ill that sisters can pray for a car to use in the field service.

  I am a nature freak and love the little things...atoms, molecules, cells, corpuscles.....and the big things........black holes and galaxies......No FREAKIN way this things happend all by themselves!!!! Just no way!..........however.......who that being is...what he is about.....how and if he has or will communicate with us?????............I don't have a flucking clue anymore.....................................oompa

  Oompa, I couldn’t have put it better myself. Although I have never explored the evolution theory, I think I have to attribute “life” to a creator. Who he is, I have no clue either. Who’s to say the God in the bible is THE creator. My thought is that IF there is a God… than I don’t think he answers our prayers… if he did, he would be intervening and in turn relieving the suffering around the Globe.

  being the evil atheist that I am. I've found it's possible to live a clear-thinking and satisfying life without a belief in a sky-daddy,

  Gopher… I think I know why people are atheists now. I am leaning that way myself. I would have never expected to go from one extreme to another in a few short months. I don’t know if I can completely dismiss there being a God since I can’t prove there isn’t one just like I can’t prove there is one. But it doesn’t bother me to think there isn’t one… I am not afraid anymore… I love being FREE!!!!

  I am messed up and seriously confused, I know. But the strange thing is I don’t mind not knowing… I feel relaxed about my spiritual journey as opposed to when I was ‘still in’ and in constant fear I would PERISH at Armageddon for these thoughts. I love being free! And if the time ever comes when God brings me before him and asks me to explain myself, I can be honest and tell him how being deceived for so long led me to believe he was never there for me or was never there at all.

  … did I just see lightning???
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  29

  Not Born-in, Not converted as adult. The In-Betweens

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think some of us get lost somewhere in the middle.. my kids knew nothing else but the jw lifestyle.

  they could only guess what holidays were like.. my jw husband converted when he was 20 an adult...a young adult but still an adult.

  he wasn't influenced by his parents.

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  song19

  My mother started studying when I was 6 or 7. She started studying with my brother and me right away, regardless of my father’s opposition. He WAS very, very opposed, yet mom would always sneak in studies with us or sneak us to the meetings when he worked late.
  
  Believe it or not, and you’re going to gag when I say this, but I welcomed religion into my life. Although so little, I drew to it like white on rice. I had such a spiritual desire. No longer celebrating the holidays wasn’t an issue and living far away from extended family, my father was alone in his attempts to keep up the holidays. He was outnumbered. Although I can't say it didn't bother me entirely, I always had an ache in my heart buried deep inside. Now I realize that that ache was a longing to go back to celebrating, to be with my family... weird! But my parents always took us on a vacation in December, and we got plenty of stuff throughout the year, so I can't say I was deprived when it came to "material things".

  My mother always told me that I had to take a stand in school, that she couldn’t do it for me, since my father was opposed. So from grade 4 and on I was the class FREAK. But I loved taking that stand, “knowing” it was pleasing God. I know you’re all dry heaving right now. It was hard to do though. It saddens me now knowing that that stand I took, was for nothing. I isolated myself for nothing. I was hated for nothing. It was all for nothing.

  Also we enjoy the added burden of never having had a 'normal' social life and I suspect from what I have learned of early childhood socialization that some of us will forever be a bit socially damaged as a result.

  This describes me. I don’t have the ability to make friends. I don’t have the ability to speak well or to socialize. Throughout school and even up to now, I to this day do not have a best friend. Sadly, I think the closet thing I have to a girlfriend is my mother… now I am dry heaving. I am thankful I have my hubby. But the loneliness is intense, especially now since I am really alone without any prospects of new friends.
  
  Although I didn’t care that I stopped celebrating the holidays, the effects of being a witness have severely damaged my life, personality, and everything I could have been. (still trying to deal with the sadness and anger)

  As a side note, my father was baptised shortly after me... .great eh? LOL
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  48

  Please, I need helpful suggestions.....

  by New light for you in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been reading this board for a while, but never posted, but now everything has changed and i have nowhere to go for suggestions- .

  my witness husband (robert7) in december, the night before the assembly, told me that he isn't a witness anymore, doesn't want to be involved anymore, doesn't believe it.

  of course, i'm a good witness, take the kids out in service a few days a week every week... very active in the cong.my first reaction was that "i cant love him if he doesn't love jehovah" and it really looked like we surely would get a divorce in jan/feb.

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  song19

  My heart goes out to you. I am recently out too, but due to inactivity and irregular meeting attendance, my sudden stop hasn’t been all that noticeable... although we're just out so I am sure the elders will attempt to meet with us soon to 'encourage us'. So yea for us!

  I know what it's like to spill your emotions as you did. I did the same with my mother. I just couldn't keep it in. (Read my post here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/158893/1.ashx) Except after I told her everything, days later she went into major denial mode which only angered me and led to my emotion tantrum. I actually got very irrational and emotion about the entire thing and definitely looked like a crazy person. All I can say is, although I wish I had kept my cool, there was no way I probably could have done so. With all my emotions running wild upon learning that I was in a cult, how my entire life was wasted, and the new fears, anxieties, and realities I now had to face, I reacted the only way my body knew how... releasing that stress to the only person who I thought would understand, my mother. You had to let it out, as I did.

  It breaks my heart that your best friend turned you in so fast. I can safely say I have never had a best friend who was a JW or a best friend at all... it's been a very lonely life for me. My mother probably thinks I am nuts, and I have probably seriously delayed her exit as she is ever more determined to be regular at every meeting and get out in service more. I just hope that I didn't ruin her chances of getting out. So I am trying to figure out how to gain her trust again. She didn’t rat me out though, it would have been harder on her than me.

  Anyhow... I agree with what others have said, don't give the elders the chance to meet with you. Just check out Rick Fearon’s JC meeting. If your ‘friend’ gave them any details, their goal is not to correct you, but to get rid of you. Tell them nothing if you are not ready to officially depart!

  Hubby and I won’t agree to a JC meeting if it is ever insisted upon us. And if it ever came down to it, we thought we would DA, to avoid the trouble of it all. We actually found a very powerful letter written by an ex-jw to his elders that were insisting a JC meeting. The letter insisted on his legal rights, including having things documented and even having legal counsel… I don’t think the elders ever bothered with him again. I can’t remember where that letter is, hubby has it bookmarked or I am sure someone here knows where to find it. Might be something to consider. I hope that your ‘friend’ doesn’t cause too much trouble for you.

  What I am finding out is, is that there are many, many people out there who will love me for who I am and not for the amount of hours I put in the service or how many meetings I make in the week or how many comments I give. I am going through this journey too, I know it’s hard. It's an emotional roller coaster. Know you are not alone. I am here for you; we are all here for you. This site has given me great comfort.
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  44

  Being told what to say in Convention interviews

  by passwordprotected in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  has anyone else heard tell of interviewees in convention parts being told what to say?

  the way i've heard it is you're contacted to be interviewed in a convention talk because you've had a great experience in some form or other and they need you to boast about it.

  so, you meet with the brother handling the assignment and you go through your experience with him (boast about it).

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  song19

  ...deleted
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  48

  Please Support this Poor Woman

  by jamiebowers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  god, this video is so sad...nothing new in the world of exjws, but sad nonetheless.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etytreioyl4.

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  song19

  Hi az! I am so happy you decided to join here. I am newly out and am suffering from light shunning from my mother, although nothing official has been announced in the cong. I just posted about it here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/159696/1.ashx.

  I am here if you need to talk... would be good for me too. (I am also one who sent you a pm on youtube)

  Watching the youtube videos of exJW's really helped me leave. I am glad they think far enough ahead to share their experiences.

  momz

  It's true what momz said... youtube was one of the first places I went to see what was being said about JWs when I started investigating them. The videos have helped me a lot... especially the WTcomments! (LOVE THOSE). welcome!
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  42

  She made it!!!

  by momzcrazy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  join me in welcoming az something (sorry too many numbers) !!!!!.

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  momzcrazy.

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  song19

  welcome... so glad you're here!
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  38

  Did you return to celebrating holidays?

  by song19 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  with this new light, i am starting to try and figure out what to do with my life and my time... now that the world is opened up for me to finally explore.. i have been wondering if i will return to celebrating the holidays with my 'worldly' relatives.

  my parents, brother, and in-laws are all witnesses.

  i have pretty much rejected the holidays say for 25 years.

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  song19

  With this new light, I am starting to try and figure out what to do with my life and my time... now that the world is opened up for me to finally explore.

  I have been wondering if I will return to celebrating the holidays with my 'worldly' relatives. My parents, brother, and in-laws are all witnesses. I have pretty much rejected the holidays say for 25 years. I am sure me rejecting the holidays caused a great divide between me and my relatives. I even sent out emails trying to explain that it wasn't the family I was rejecting, but the origins of the holidays.... bla bla bla, you know the drill.

  I came across this page the other day and found some of the points interesting.
  http://www.apostolic.net/biblicalstudies/holidays.htm

  I know that there are a few Christians who believe it is wrong to celebrate Easter and Christmas because the roots of these holidays are in paganism. There is no doubt that they have their roots in paganism. This is not disputed. What I do believe should be examined is the argument that says anything which has its roots in paganism should be avoided by Christians today. I would argue that nearly everything in our culture is rooted in paganism. Even the names of the months of the year and planets are named after pagan gods. The names of the days of the week also have their origin in paganism.

  So the question is... does it really matter anymore to me where the heck Christmas and other holidays originated? Should I still be on guard against things that have pagan origins? Would celebrating the holidays bring me closer to my family? or is that just a dream?

  I am curious as to how any of you have handled it. How do you feel about the holidays now? Did you go back to celebrating? How did your 'worldly' family react? How did your JW family react?

  thanx
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  New Member...Mrs. Fiorini

  by yknot in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  she made her debut on "keep yourselves in god's love: birthday thread (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/159047/2.ashx).

  here is a copy of her brief introduction and comment.

  hello everyone, i have been reading jwd for awhile and enjoying everyone's comments.

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  song19

  Welcome! Glad to have you here!