Posts by lostsheep82

20

Sciptures? Help???

by lostsheep82 in

jw
friends

i know this subject is touchy, and i dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as i do, as they do with the fact that i'm gay.

as he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so i asked him what about david and jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'.

well when you put it that way i dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.. his response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay.

lostsheep82

Well UP I respect your comments, and somewhat agree with you even though, no, that isn't what any gay person wants to hear. lol.

Deep deep down, I wonder if I am displeasing God. No, he didn't make women with women, he made man and woman. But he also didn't intend for man to rape, beat, or manipulate woman. He made us with choices. It isn't my choice to feel this way, this is how I've always felt.

Your illustration was an interesting one and you make a point, however, in this day and age, do you really think God is going to destroy all the gays, and people who don't go to 'church'? That would amount to an aweful lot of people. I use to feel that all who were not JW were going to die at armageddon. To me, and maybe this is a wrong attitude, but if I'm not a JW, I feel I just want to live my life the best I can to try to be honerable to God. But I refuse to live with a man and be in a relationship that makes me feel the way I feel when I am in that relationship. I could almost liken it to you being forced to live with and have relations with another man. That would make you feel dirty, wierd, and very 'not normal'. That is how I feel when I am with a man.

I agree that it wasn't Gods intent, but I don't think or I should say I'm trying to help make myself beleive that he still loves me. I don't feel I have to have religion as it is man made. At this point, what is real anymore? After finding out the truth about the truth, I almost want to give up on everything, as there are too many false things in this world. I never use to feel this way, but as long as I'm a good person, and try my best, I feel at Armageddon time, God can help me correct my heart, something I cannot do. If he understands, then maybe just like everyone else, us gays will have a chance to feel the way God wants us to. It isn't a behavior for me. It's the only way I can be. It isn't the act of sex that keeps me in this relationship, it is the love two people share.

I know I may hope to find biblical support, and there isn't any. really. But also, Jesus himself never said anything about homosexuality.

Love I have which is the greates quality. I hope this in time is good enough....

18

PDF of Oct 1, 1993 WT. Pg 19

by lostsheep82 in

can anyone please maybe find a scan of this article?

the first sentence reads:"disfellowshipping can be extremely punitive.".

it is an article that supposedly reads that the punishment to a df'd person goes so far as to 'include hatred' of such persons-not just their behavior.

lostsheep82

Can anyone please maybe find a scan of this article? The first sentence reads:"Disfellowshipping can be extremely punitive."

It is an article that supposedly reads that the punishment to a DF'd person goes so far as to 'include hatred' of such persons-not just their behavior.

I am sick to my stomach reading this as a quote, but need to see for myself an actual page that reads this. Can anyone find and scan one? It's still recent, maybe someone's got those old brown Bound Volumes sitting collecting dust....??

I just can't beleive the society would publish such harsh words...

20

Sciptures? Help???

by lostsheep82 in

jw
friends

i know this subject is touchy, and i dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as i do, as they do with the fact that i'm gay.

as he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so i asked him what about david and jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'.

well when you put it that way i dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.. his response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay.

lostsheep82

I like that song its catchy..lol

You know, I dont think the God intended on people being gay, but he also didnt intend for EVERYTHING that happens now to happen. I dont feel wrong about the love I share with a woman because it is a love that everyone needs, and for me i can only get it from a woman.

i'm not a bad person i've got the kindest heart and there is nothing wrong with me. If I die at armageddon, then at least i found what TRUE unconditional love is.....

thank you all for your comments. This is such a struggle.

20

Sciptures? Help???

by lostsheep82 in

jw
friends

i know this subject is touchy, and i dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as i do, as they do with the fact that i'm gay.

as he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so i asked him what about david and jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'.

well when you put it that way i dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.. his response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay.

lostsheep82

I did actually say that my conscience would bother me going door to door, NOT becuause that's what Jesus did(or did he?), but because I wouldn't be preaching the words fo Christ, i'd be preaching the words of Jehovah's Witnessed. Their answer to EVERTHING is tat when they were praying and unsure of everything, JW's ALWAYS came to their door. That MUST be God's direction!!!

20

Sciptures? Help???

by lostsheep82 in

jw
friends

i know this subject is touchy, and i dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as i do, as they do with the fact that i'm gay.

as he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so i asked him what about david and jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'.

well when you put it that way i dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.. his response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay.

lostsheep82

Please no one think i'm in support of what happened at 9-11. i was simply trying to make a point.

if JW's think they are right, and those flying the plane were willin to lose their lives......the same as JWs who lose thier lives cause of blood transfusions.........who are we as lowly humans to judge.

I truly have the worst opinions of those who flew those dam effin planes. but it isnt up to ME to judge. Only God and Jesus.

Pleas no on take what i said out of turn. it breaks my heart of the tradegy of what happend and i only wanted to make a point.

thank you,

20

Sciptures? Help???

by lostsheep82 in

jw
friends

i know this subject is touchy, and i dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as i do, as they do with the fact that i'm gay.

as he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so i asked him what about david and jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'.

well when you put it that way i dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.. his response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay.

lostsheep82

So, I need some help. I know this subject is touchy, and I dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as I do, as they do with the fact that I'm gay. As he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so I asked him what about David and Jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'Amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'. Well when you put it that way I dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.

His response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay. in response i said i wouldnt be abused had the elders let my mom leave the bastard. and then oh well your mom was vulnerable. YEAH I EFFIN KNOW. BUT, she was 26. i understand why my mom stayed. that has nothing to do with the fact that I"M GAY!!!!!

So he made me this deal. I can send them anything about the society and i can have a problem with it, however now they are wanting me to prove in my right conscience from ANY bible that says gays are ok. i said i didnt think i could, because well for one....maybe it is wrong. for two THAT WASN'T MY POINT. my point was that i felt i didnt want to follow a man made religion, and they seemed fine with it. His reasoning was that if i didnt want to be a JW, that was ok, but prove that what you are doing is RIGHT.

u know what...i cant.

in my heart of hearts...i dont feel i am doing anything wrong. i feel Jehovah(and i'll always call him that) loves me no matter what. IF me being gay and my wife being gay has to do with the fact we were beaten and raped my men before we were 10......so be it. But how can Jehovah blame us for how we feel.

I told my mom i never felt "normal" when i was with a guy, and beleive me i became a bit of a premiscousious person trying to make it feel 'right'. DIDNT WORK!!!!

My question and I ask for help....is there any way of defending myself in any way as to the fact that i feel Jehovah still loves me even though I'm wiht a woman. and that I don't feel i'll die at armageddon because i'm gay....

I'm so effed up now i dont even know......

5

Maximus writing a book?

by lostsheep82 in

hi, .

i read a post of maximus' about his 'book'.

is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?.

lostsheep82

Thank you stonewall:)

5

Maximus writing a book?

by lostsheep82 in

hi, .

i read a post of maximus' about his 'book'.

is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?.

lostsheep82

I know he hasn't been on for a long time, but wondered if anyone knew of how he was doing, or if he ever got to his book?

I wish there were more like him who we could correspond with. Are there any ex CO's, DO's, bethelites or such who are going to another board like this one? So far I've found jehovah's witness recovery that seems similar to JWD

5

Maximus writing a book?

by lostsheep82 in

hi, .

i read a post of maximus' about his 'book'.

is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?.

lostsheep82

Hi,

I read a post of Maximus' about his 'book'. Is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?

27

Wanting to talk to my mom

by lostsheep82 in

so now that i've read as much as i could in the last 2 months and made my decision that this isn't the organization i thought it was, i'm scared, terrified, and feel helpless in some ways.

my mom is a devout jw, a pioneer, her husband of the 'anointed', and they are very 'spiritually strong'.

i'm wanting to compile a mini book to send to her with all the reasons and proof from wt books and magazines with quotes and stuff.

lostsheep82

Thanks for all your helpful suggestions. I'm scared to death, and I feel that if I put it into a letter form like dear mom.....yada yada and then touch on each subject and roof, not as a "Documentary " type letter, but a personal letter. I guess book was the wrong wording to use, however, there is just too much damn stuff that they can't deny if it's written in the WT.

Anyways this forum has been extremely therepudic(totally dont know how to spell that lol) for me and it has so much helpful information.
Thanks to you all for your kind thoughts and words,

LostSheep