Posts by lostsheep82

20

Sciptures? Help???

by lostsheep82 in

jw
friends

i know this subject is touchy, and i dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as i do, as they do with the fact that i'm gay.

as he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so i asked him what about david and jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'.

well when you put it that way i dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.. his response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay.

lostsheep82

So, I need some help. I know this subject is touchy, and I dont want to stir feathers.....but with my most recent convo with my mom and her "anointed" husband, they dont have as much of a problem with me discrediting the society as I do, as they do with the fact that I'm gay. As he puts it....ignore the society and what they teach....go to the bible...so I asked him what about David and Jonathans relationship, how can you prove they didnt have a sexual love for eachother and he says...'Amanda, do you think they were bum holing eachother?'. Well when you put it that way I dont know, but that has nothing to do with the fact that most gay relationships have nothing to do with the actual act of sex, they have to do with the love two people share, cause they can't share it with someone else.

His response was simpathetic, and cause of my abusive past, that is what they blame it on........if i wasnt abused i wouldnt be gay. in response i said i wouldnt be abused had the elders let my mom leave the bastard. and then oh well your mom was vulnerable. YEAH I EFFIN KNOW. BUT, she was 26. i understand why my mom stayed. that has nothing to do with the fact that I"M GAY!!!!!

So he made me this deal. I can send them anything about the society and i can have a problem with it, however now they are wanting me to prove in my right conscience from ANY bible that says gays are ok. i said i didnt think i could, because well for one....maybe it is wrong. for two THAT WASN'T MY POINT. my point was that i felt i didnt want to follow a man made religion, and they seemed fine with it. His reasoning was that if i didnt want to be a JW, that was ok, but prove that what you are doing is RIGHT.

u know what...i cant.

in my heart of hearts...i dont feel i am doing anything wrong. i feel Jehovah(and i'll always call him that) loves me no matter what. IF me being gay and my wife being gay has to do with the fact we were beaten and raped my men before we were 10......so be it. But how can Jehovah blame us for how we feel.

I told my mom i never felt "normal" when i was with a guy, and beleive me i became a bit of a premiscousious person trying to make it feel 'right'. DIDNT WORK!!!!

My question and I ask for help....is there any way of defending myself in any way as to the fact that i feel Jehovah still loves me even though I'm wiht a woman. and that I don't feel i'll die at armageddon because i'm gay....

I'm so effed up now i dont even know......

5

Maximus writing a book?

by lostsheep82 in

hi, .

i read a post of maximus' about his 'book'.

is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?.

lostsheep82

Thank you stonewall:)

5

Maximus writing a book?

by lostsheep82 in

hi, .

i read a post of maximus' about his 'book'.

is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?.

lostsheep82

I know he hasn't been on for a long time, but wondered if anyone knew of how he was doing, or if he ever got to his book?

I wish there were more like him who we could correspond with. Are there any ex CO's, DO's, bethelites or such who are going to another board like this one? So far I've found jehovah's witness recovery that seems similar to JWD

5

Maximus writing a book?

by lostsheep82 in

hi, .

i read a post of maximus' about his 'book'.

is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?.

lostsheep82

Hi,

I read a post of Maximus' about his 'book'. Is he or has he written one, and if so does anyone know what it is called or any info on it?

27

Wanting to talk to my mom

by lostsheep82 in

so now that i've read as much as i could in the last 2 months and made my decision that this isn't the organization i thought it was, i'm scared, terrified, and feel helpless in some ways.

my mom is a devout jw, a pioneer, her husband of the 'anointed', and they are very 'spiritually strong'.

i'm wanting to compile a mini book to send to her with all the reasons and proof from wt books and magazines with quotes and stuff.

lostsheep82

Thanks for all your helpful suggestions. I'm scared to death, and I feel that if I put it into a letter form like dear mom.....yada yada and then touch on each subject and roof, not as a "Documentary " type letter, but a personal letter. I guess book was the wrong wording to use, however, there is just too much damn stuff that they can't deny if it's written in the WT.

Anyways this forum has been extremely therepudic(totally dont know how to spell that lol) for me and it has so much helpful information.
Thanks to you all for your kind thoughts and words,

LostSheep

27

Wanting to talk to my mom

by lostsheep82 in

so now that i've read as much as i could in the last 2 months and made my decision that this isn't the organization i thought it was, i'm scared, terrified, and feel helpless in some ways.

my mom is a devout jw, a pioneer, her husband of the 'anointed', and they are very 'spiritually strong'.

i'm wanting to compile a mini book to send to her with all the reasons and proof from wt books and magazines with quotes and stuff.

lostsheep82

whats the FLDS?

27

Wanting to talk to my mom

by lostsheep82 in

so now that i've read as much as i could in the last 2 months and made my decision that this isn't the organization i thought it was, i'm scared, terrified, and feel helpless in some ways.

my mom is a devout jw, a pioneer, her husband of the 'anointed', and they are very 'spiritually strong'.

i'm wanting to compile a mini book to send to her with all the reasons and proof from wt books and magazines with quotes and stuff.

lostsheep82

Thank you all for your suggestions. I will read that book, but im not even done COC yet. Still gathering evidence and figuring things out myself....but I will read it.

This has got to be the hardest and scariest thing in my life. I just want to explode and tell her everything but maybe that isnt a good idea....

anyways, you all have been helpful. thank you. your comments show that there are people out there who know what i am going through and care...feels nice.

thanks and blessings to you all:)

27

Wanting to talk to my mom

by lostsheep82 in

so now that i've read as much as i could in the last 2 months and made my decision that this isn't the organization i thought it was, i'm scared, terrified, and feel helpless in some ways.

my mom is a devout jw, a pioneer, her husband of the 'anointed', and they are very 'spiritually strong'.

i'm wanting to compile a mini book to send to her with all the reasons and proof from wt books and magazines with quotes and stuff.

lostsheep82

Thank you all for your suggestions. I will read that book, but im not even done COC yet. Still gathering evidence and figuring things out myself....but I will read it.

This has got to be the hardest and scariest thing in my life. I just want to explode and tell her everything but maybe that isnt a good idea....

anyways, you all have been helpful. thank you. your comments show that there are people out there who know what i am going through and care...feels nice.

thanks and blessings to you all:)

23

Rank & File Unfamiliar with WTS former NGO Status?

by megs in

so, my pioneer lady sent me an e-mail with the following sentence:.

you had asked about the un.

we have never belonged to that organization and never will.

lostsheep82

Honestly the R&F don't know about it. My mom reg pioneer, my step dad "anointed" and he spoke wtih an elder in his hall and no one ever heard about it, so of course it was just apostate stuff I was looking at that blew everything out of proportion...lmao. She said she needs proof. And proof I will give them. They defended the WT to a tee. The info I send them will involve alot more than the UN scandal

27

Wanting to talk to my mom

by lostsheep82 in

so now that i've read as much as i could in the last 2 months and made my decision that this isn't the organization i thought it was, i'm scared, terrified, and feel helpless in some ways.

my mom is a devout jw, a pioneer, her husband of the 'anointed', and they are very 'spiritually strong'.

i'm wanting to compile a mini book to send to her with all the reasons and proof from wt books and magazines with quotes and stuff.

lostsheep82

Fading isn't an option for me, as I've been 'out' for approx 5 years, however still beleived it was the truth and she always hoped I would 'come back'. If you read some of my posts, you will know my story a bit.... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/160504/1.ashx . 2nd page I posted.

I left the 'truth' for many reasons, but not due to thinking it was all bullshit. Now I do, and I think there is no right religion cause its all man made, and filled with man made interpretations and rules. I need to explain to my mom that I'm not returning NOT because I'm gay, NOT because I want to be rebelious and turn away from God, but because I don't beleive in so many things they teach, and I cannot preach or go door to door with a right conscience. Going in service is something you HAVE to do as a witness, and I wont/cant do that anymore.....

I almost wished I was still in good standing when finding these things out and I'd have more of an option, but my mom feels that because I don't have Jehovah's "spirit" on me, cause I'm not going to meetings, that Satan and the demons have taken over my heart, and I've turned away from Jehovah. Her words to me hurt very much as I'm discusting, and I've pierced her heart. To hear things like that from your mother who is suppose to love you unconditionally hurts real bad. I told her that I would have NEVER stopped talking to, or seeing her if she ever got DF'd, because I don't think and never have thought that it would help people return. It makes people return simply because they are cast out, and abandoned. Loving councel and constant encouragment, would help people, but NEVER talking or looking at a person...yeah that's loving. They base things one ONE scripture that says not to eat with such a man, well I wont eat with you, but can I still be your daughter????

The sad thing is, I understand where she is coming from and why she thinks and feels the way she does, cause I use to feel the SAME way up untill May/08. My world turned upside down when I decided to Dig deeper, and found JWD. I use to be so afraid of 'apotates', and now I'm labeled as one.

I feel I guess that a mini letter/book is the only way I can express things, and show quotes and proof to my reasonings. Her husband is of the 'anointed' and talking to him on the phone just confuses me mroe cause they don't listen to ME, jsut expect me to listen to them....I dont want to be preached to anymore. I know what the bible says and I feel every religion, every interpretation of the bible is just that. An interpretation of the original writings, cause each translator I feel adds tid bits here and there where they feel should.....

I'm still so lost and confused with this whole thing, but one thing is for sure, I cannot be a witness. I cannot go door to door. I cannot pretend to beleive something I dont. I think the JW's generally try, however, simply follow men in NY. Men they know nothing about, men they trust to rule their lives, and I don't feel that is right....I use to.

No matter what proof I show her, she will just shun me, and that will be the end of our relationship which breaks my friggen heart. Is there anyone who was able to make things good with family even after they were out of the religion? I'm not DF'd.....DA'd, I simply walked out of a meeting and went to 2 memorials after that. I'm innactive and want to stay that way.

Gosh I miss my mommy. I pray for understanding on her part, but I'm so scared....