Maybe I should clarify on what I meant by meditation. There is what most people think of when they hear the word, that being emptying your mind of all thoughts (or finding a "happy" place) and achieving a state of relaxation/calm/tranquility. That is not what I meant. Cognizant dissident mentioned something along the lines of thinking (aka. meditating) about oneself and one's feelings. This is more along the lines of what I had reference to. The former type is all good and well, but the calmness it bestows upon one is only temporary and then one has to meditate yet again to achieve that state...I guess there is too much similarity between a buzz (whether from drugs, weed, or alcohol) and that state to make me truly comfortable. I've seen the effect of dependency in my friends' lives, and I fear and hate what it is capable of doing to a life. Not that I'm saying they are one and the same, just that they are eerily similar.
I am fond of introspective meditation; dwelling on one's own state, feelings, why one thinks how one does, etc... This, IMO, can have a very positive effect on our lives by giving us a greater understanding of who one truly is. Peace is then only a step behind, walking hand in hand with Confidence.
As for who I am, I'm nobody. Just one who has seen the detrimental effects that organized "religion" has had on countless lives and that none of those "religions" gives a true representation of God and His Word. It pains me to see others soured so completely that the Bible can no more be true than Santa. I honestly believe that, depending on one's persepective, different people can draw different conclusions from the same portions in the Bible. Not opposing conclusions mind you, just that some portions can be applied in different ways to one's life depending on the experiences one has undergone (experiences, not what one wants the Bible to say). For a body/group of people to say that the Bible says this, and only this, that sends off alarms in my head. That doesn't agree with the Bible (which is why I'm so fond of Romans 14). We are only human, who are we to say what is what with 100% certainty?
I don't look to tell people what is what, but I do attempt to give them a different perspective and/or the motivation to honestly look for an answer themselves. For others can tell one how things are, but unless one searches and finds those things out for oneself, can one truly hold to them? I think not. The most difficult thing to do is to disregard whatever one currently holds to be true and make an honest and truthful attempt to understand another's point of view. Even if one ends up holding to one's original beliefs, one will have gained an understanding of an opposing belief and will have gained the respect of those that hold to the opposition, for they will have seen that one gained an understanding of their perspective and didn't brush it off as stupidity. When people have respect of another's beliefs, then people can truly engage in an argumentative discussion for the edification of all.
If you want to know more (about me) then I can start a new topic. However, I don't want people judging what I say based on the type of person they think I am. Whether it makes them disregard what I say or embrace what I say...it doesn't matter. The message is always greater than the messenger, and to judge the message based on the messenger shows a shallowness that is detrimental in its limitations. I would dare to extend that to Jesus Himself...except that He is the message, so I am spared what many religions would view as blasphemy/heresy.
Btw, I've completely overlooked your original question: What happened?
Try 1 Corinthians 10:13 "...will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."