Wow how i do remember those frigging anxiety/panic attacks of years ago.
Felt like I was dying and having a heart attack at a young age.
When I went to the Emergency room and they hooked me to the EKG and saw that I had arrhythmia.
Funny thing it was when I was first learning the truth about the "truth" and I think trying to process all of that in such a short period in the beginning took its toll.
I never went to a single therapist or took any meds but there were times I couldn't get out of bed because of feeling so tired from where my heart raced so fast and the tightness in it.
After a few months (about 6-8 iirc) I got to the point one day that I just told myself I'm tired of wondering if there was a God,if the bible was right or wrong, if the sun would explode ,if the world would end etc..
I was like if this is how I'm going to feel from now on that I didn't care if i lived because it sucked and death at that point in my life would've been like a release.
So I basically said something similar to what Cool Hand Luke said in the movie, along the lines of God if you're there, love me,hate me, hit me with lightning,fire from heaven it don't matter. Just show me if you're there.
There was no response.
So late that night I made myself a promise.I would never ever let another person or organization tell me what God expects of me. If he can tell them what he expects of me then he can tell me. My door is always open.
Needless to say my panic/anxiety attacks ceased. I started sleeping better and actually my whole outlook on life improved.
To this day I've never regretted that decision.
And as many others have pointed out on this forum in time it does get better.
Try and surround yourself with positive influences such as some family that maybe aren't JW's as well as going to some meet-ups if possible. Also do some hobby's,sports,movies, and some books that you may have put off because of the JW religion.
Anyhow wishing and hoping you the best possible turn out.
StoneWall
Felt like I was dying and having a heart attack at a young age.
When I went to the Emergency room and they hooked me to the EKG and saw that I had arrhythmia.
Funny thing it was when I was first learning the truth about the "truth" and I think trying to process all of that in such a short period in the beginning took its toll.
I never went to a single therapist or took any meds but there were times I couldn't get out of bed because of feeling so tired from where my heart raced so fast and the tightness in it.
After a few months (about 6-8 iirc) I got to the point one day that I just told myself I'm tired of wondering if there was a God,if the bible was right or wrong, if the sun would explode ,if the world would end etc..
I was like if this is how I'm going to feel from now on that I didn't care if i lived because it sucked and death at that point in my life would've been like a release.
So I basically said something similar to what Cool Hand Luke said in the movie, along the lines of God if you're there, love me,hate me, hit me with lightning,fire from heaven it don't matter. Just show me if you're there.
There was no response.
So late that night I made myself a promise.I would never ever let another person or organization tell me what God expects of me. If he can tell them what he expects of me then he can tell me. My door is always open.
Needless to say my panic/anxiety attacks ceased. I started sleeping better and actually my whole outlook on life improved.
To this day I've never regretted that decision.
And as many others have pointed out on this forum in time it does get better.
Try and surround yourself with positive influences such as some family that maybe aren't JW's as well as going to some meet-ups if possible. Also do some hobby's,sports,movies, and some books that you may have put off because of the JW religion.
Anyhow wishing and hoping you the best possible turn out.
StoneWall