Posts by lurk3r

178

Why is Jesus kept side stage ?

by iknowall558 in

john 5 :39 ' 40 "you study the scriptures, because you think that in them you will find eternal life.

and these very scriptures speak about me!

yet you are not willing to come to me in order to have life.

Why is Jesus kept side stage ?

by iknowall558 in

john 5 :39 ' 40 "you study the scriptures, because you think that in them you will find eternal life.

and these very scriptures speak about me!

yet you are not willing to come to me in order to have life.

lurk3r

Nice to talk Hobo, and pleased to meet you.

I am a newb just like you. I have limited post like you, and as much as i loathe "spending" another one on her, I will. I don't "know her", I only see where she is coming from. I have a hard time continuing with WANTING to know, when she skirts so very much. It has bothered me deeply to see the attention she gets from others here, as I draw the conclusion that since she is causing conflict, she is doing her job as a good Christian. I do regret the way I approached her here on this thread to some degree, but felt it was the only way to get a point across. Once again, a skirting reply that danced around valid points while running away after quoting a scripture. I feel sorry for her, and would love to have an open talk with her, but she is not sincere enough to be able. From one of her recent posts, I see she is 3rd gen. Hence, she is heavily indoctrinated.

Actually we can back it up even a little more. Going back to her very first thread here on this board. (im not doing this to hurt you Reniaa)

I've been a faded JW for 10 years I left because of my failed first marriage, I'm no hypocrite and realised I had left completely so I embraced the world and dived in, Only christmas and birthdays I could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if I suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.

Similarily to myself, I was a "fader" for about the same time. Apocrophyl posted here the other day, and i wrote her a little note as I made many mistakes coming out. My biggest; diving headfirst into "the world". It was the biggest mistake of my life, as I wanted nothing more than to form another identity, as i had only known 1 of life, my whole life, and figured this was the right way to do it. I did the complete opposite of the way in which i was raised. Instead of jumping over the hurdle in coming out, I formed another one making the whole process of leaving even harder.

1/ All the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, I've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.

I couldn't agree more. You have to be VERY careful of who you trust in the world...it's a very sobering revelation. I shared my soul with people I wish I never. In the truth, you think you can trust most everyone...that carries over to the world when you leave unless you know to be careful already. Not EVERYONE here criticizes though. Not everyone in the 'world' does either. Unless you learn to 'pick and choose', you leave yourself open for hurt. Being raised in the truth, you NEVER have the option. Accept it, there is no other option except that.

2/ I got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, I got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later I am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and I was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.

I now see why Reniaa lives in fear. Look at all the hurdles she has to jump over, BEFORE she could even THINK about anything else. Reniaa. From my own personal experience, can i ask you...Were you like me? Did you feel like you needed to be loved by someone else to feel better about everything? I made most of my mistakes thinking that way. I have no kids, and can;t imagine the load you have had to carry over time. Many worldly people ARE assholes! But not ALL, and certainly not everyone on this board. Many Witnesses ARE assholes too, but certainly not all.

4/ I miss the honest friendships of the truth, I had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after I left but I was determined to fade so moved away completely, but I find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( I've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.

I can relate Reniaa, so well. I miss my old relationships. EVERY single day I miss em. I miss my days of ignorance often too. Like you, I'm not there anymore. I too, could relate to so many people of varying ages, cause we all had one thing in common, but we don't anymore. I still LOVE it when i bump into some of them here and there, but I don't miss the superficial relationships we had. I donlt feel it's fair to them to mix like we used to, cause it means I'm not being honest to them, and in turn,myself. I'm sorry Reniaa. My current g/f is different than most worldlings that I know, it's part of the reason that I love her. It's not all as black and white as you think my dear...I wish it was some days, truly i do. Grey is my favorite color.

5/ My recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, I thought why not find out about it, Harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when I said to him how does he clear that with God, he replies "As long as I repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.

As you know firsthand, it doesn't matter what religion your part of, you are who YOU are, not what a religion will MAKE YOU. I know, that you know, many people that are in the truth are capable of this. I'm not criticizing the truth Reniaa. People ARE people. You can't change that. We were alwys taught that you could, but we ARE older and we know better...now. I'm sorry Reniaa.

6/ I recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, It wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their Religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in God, It's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it. They said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and I thought "well if this is reality I've had enough of it".

If we do ANYTHING out of frustration, we do it wrong usually. I have come to accept, that you can't make a good decision based on emotion. Out as long as i have been, Atheism scares me. I left the Truth, and when I actually acknowledged what I was looking at, it SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. Adam and Eve took no responsibility for their actions...I think the Genesis account in this regard is true now.We are responible for the direction we CHOOSE to go in. Free will. I will approach atheism when I am ready, and on my terms. Until then, I have to get comfortable with where I'm at first. Completely.

So here I am feeling like the prodigal daughter and thinking being among warm-hearted if strict people who will accept me back and give me a sense of community again that I haven't seen in any other christian faith for all I've looked, has gotta be better than being shoved and shunned and used by people who have stopped caring for each other and only think of themselves.

Your thoughts please?

You have my thoughts. I'm sorry for the long road you have travelled and what it has brought you in return. I know how it feels, beleive me. Stay in the truth Reniaa, if thats what you need. Please realize that it's YOUR need, and not everyone else here on the board. My Witness friends, in which I love and miss SO much, would love it if you chose to stay. Go back and look at your threads that you have started Reniaa. LOOK at the post counts! If it's not apparent now that people REALLY CARE, you are enver going to see it.People here, just want you to come to a decision, a GROUNDED, DEFINITE decision. By coming here, skirting oh so many questions, it becomes apparent that you haven't. It's not a dig against you, its just an observation.

The conflict within yourself, is going to make you sick Reniaa. Please make your stand. For yourself, for your children...for Jehovah. Live by it and it will make you better, whatever you choose. I know how tough it is and how heartwrenching it can be, growing up a 3rd Generation JW and not being able to make a decision for yourself. It makes the ones we HAVE to make now, SO much harder.

Please take care. Please try and let us deal with the things WE need to, instead of trying to make this about you. Many people; myself included,would love to help you...whatever way you choose to go. In turn, you can help others. Maybe one day you can write someone a letter like this, and show someone how much you actually care.No one is telling you what to do here, please Reniaa, from the bottom of my wee heart, don't fight what's being offered. Many people here would love to help you, but only if you choose. I KNOW that since all Witness aren't bad, there are many that will want to help you; but only if you choose. Thats the BEST part about this, you get to CHOOSE!

Sorry I called you a harlot.

lurk3r

178

Why is Jesus kept side stage ?

by iknowall558 in

john 5 :39 ' 40 "you study the scriptures, because you think that in them you will find eternal life.

and these very scriptures speak about me!

yet you are not willing to come to me in order to have life.

lurk3r

Ren doesn't have a leg to stand on, and she knows it. There is a smidgen of sorrow i feel towards her, but by and large, she is just deplorable. I personally think this site just drives her ego, and that alone just irks me to no end. I think she has been out before, and it was probably more than she can bear. I have only been here a short while, but I see a pattern. Reniaa talks and EVERYONE jumps in to jump on her, I think this in itself drives her to think she is in the right. She isnlt here to gain personal support, and she isnt here to help the Witness cause in any way shape or form. She is an attention harlot, as far as i can see.

Could we just ignore her? Could we maybe start a thread outlining this? If there was ever grounds for "dis-fellowshipping" someone here, I'm sure she has met the criteria. People are doing nothing but succombing to her game, which includes a couple threads from me. I'm borderline ashamed of myself.

lurk3r

9

Was there going to be a x-jw MEET-UP OR WHATEVER IN APRIL IN LONDON

by badboy in

jw
friends

is it still on?.

conference etc.

lurk3r

What happens at these "Apostofests?" Do you/we all just sit around and talk over dinner, and get to know one another on a more personal level or something?

lrkr

13

Job: Jehovah's Deal with the Devil

by cameo-d in

if the scriptures in the book of enoch has enough validity to be mentioned in jude..... the wager between jehovah and the debbil, concerning the demise of job, could never have happened.. according to enoch...jehovah and satan were not even on speaking terms during that time.. this quote from enoch 13 takes place shortly after "the fall".. .

1 and enoch went and said: oazazel, thou shalt have no peace: a severe sentence has gone forth.

2 against thee to put thee in bonds: and thou shalt not have toleration nor request granted to thee, because of the unrighteousness which thou hast taught, and because of all the works of godlessness.

lurk3r

Oh Leo I love it when you talk in plain English. I will do that come time. Thanks a bunch.

Cameo - I went to wedding where there were many JW "friends" of mine recently. I sat among them with a very different mental disposition than I have had in times gone by. One thing that I noted within myself, was that this gathering, for the first

time in my life, was that the things I wanted to talk about, were going to be on my terms; not theirs. It felt good too. No having to defend myself, no more feeling "lesser than them", equal footing whether they were concious of it or not.

Respectfully, I ask you, why do the conversations, or the attempts at conversations between us,pm's or otherwise, have to be on your terms only?

lrkr

36

I wish I was Stronger

by apocryphal22 in

jw
friends

but im not.

i have lost everything.. i am a third generation jw on both sides of my family.

all of my family is in full time service, pioneers, elders, cos, international construction, anointed and gb.

lurk3r

Oh Apoc. I hope you return. I hope that your making out ok, and that your not in dire straits. Do you let everything build up in your mind, and then return here when you don't know what else to do? Jehovah does not think any less of you, and

one day Apoc, you ARE going to be stronger. If you could only stand back and look at yourself. Let some people, who really DO care about your feelings and know how you feel, firsthand, comfort you just a little bit, even though you feel like you

don't deserve it. I know where you are in all of this. Your IN it. I'm not talking about the truth. I'm referring to your current state of crisis. Does the guilt overwhelm you? It's IS overwhelming...it's not just you. All your family, and friends would look

down on you, if they knew you ever even THOUGHT about coming here, let alone actually doing it. You KNOW how they would feel, and you take ALL those feelings, and place them on yourself...I know you do. I don't know you personally, but I

know those feelings.

There are many here, that hate the Organization, and all that it stands for...that's just them though and it doesnt have to be you. You have your doubts, and that, at the heart of it, is why your here. What your feeling is fear. Take one step, please, and read this. It is going to be your first step in

realizing in how it's working in you. I read it a number of years ago, and could not ignore it. MY WHOLE LIFE was based on fear, and that is what your feeling. It is going to subside one day. Are you holding it all in sometimes? Speaking to your family

with a guilty concious? KNOWING that if they REALLY knew how you felt, they wouldn't be there talking to you. Does it feel like a bad dream at that moment? Do you have 1 friend in your life that you can cry with Apoc? Do you cry alone when

your by yourself?

When i left Apoc, I made many mistakes. I never left so that I could enjoy all those things that we were told people left the Truth for. You HAVE reached the hardest pert of your life to date. It is so very important to realize some things now. When

you were in the truth, you could trust everyone. That doesnt apply anymore and I'm so very sorry to lift another veil, but you HAVE to know that. You only have one person that you can trust in wholeheartedly now, and that person is yourself.

Pray to Jehovah, cause he is still there. Stop asking him to take your life. You were given a mind to USE, not to suppress. He wants you to think, he wants you to be responsible for WHAT YOU DO FROM HERE ON IN. You have an example to set

for the rest of your family, and for the many others you love and care for. You have to be in control of yourself. Examine the Bible, and ASK yourself questions that you have never had the opportunity to think about before. Most Witnesses have

a black and white way of looking at things. I BET you know some that arent as cut and dry as others. Apoc, there really is nothing wrong with asking questions. Questions are what made you grow as a young child, and the reason you will

continue that growth after so many years of feeling "small". In your mind, everyone is better than you, because their in the truth, and you have doubts. Everyone knows where they are, and you can't find that place. I always thought it was just

me.

6 million + brothers and sisters could not stop you from coming here. NO ONE is going to tell you what to do now. Did it bother you that we could never read literature from other religions? Even as a young child that seemed odd to me. It's going

to go one of two ways for you Apoc. NO ONE is going to tell you what to do, and if you ever decide to go back, that is your choice. Right now for the first time in your life, it's going to be about YOU. Your gonna love it when you get to know

yourself even a little it better, you wait and see.

lurk3r

22

No emotional highs/lows in jw lives

by rebel8 in

jw
friends

if you've taken sociology 101 or read sociology books, you've seen discussions of the functions holidays serve.

without consulting my textbooks, here are a few of them.

honor important eventsreaffirm cultural, social, or familial tiesrestexperience joyin essence---enjoy life and have strong ties to the community and family!.

lurk3r

Rebel - I see from some of your other posts, that you must be a counselor of sorts? I loved your KH streaking post btw. lol

I have a shrink i love seeing when the occasion arises. She knows much more than me, but I respect her immensley for " coming down to my level" when it comes to questioning her. She has told me that she likes the fact that I make her think,

when she has a day of counselling that often is repetitous.

I just would like you to know, that in asking a question here and there, with regards some things you say, isn't me trying to be difficult; I would just like to understand better.

"Yes, a low that is NOT ALLOWED"

Once again i see where you coming from. BUT, the "lows" that one experiences often leads to depression...no? Why is not allowed?

lrkr

13

Job: Jehovah's Deal with the Devil

by cameo-d in

if the scriptures in the book of enoch has enough validity to be mentioned in jude..... the wager between jehovah and the debbil, concerning the demise of job, could never have happened.. according to enoch...jehovah and satan were not even on speaking terms during that time.. this quote from enoch 13 takes place shortly after "the fall".. .

1 and enoch went and said: oazazel, thou shalt have no peace: a severe sentence has gone forth.

2 against thee to put thee in bonds: and thou shalt not have toleration nor request granted to thee, because of the unrighteousness which thou hast taught, and because of all the works of godlessness.

lurk3r

2 more posts left after this one.

It is interesting reading...

who do you think the "holy ones" are in 12 vs 2?

lurkr

13

Job: Jehovah's Deal with the Devil

by cameo-d in

if the scriptures in the book of enoch has enough validity to be mentioned in jude..... the wager between jehovah and the debbil, concerning the demise of job, could never have happened.. according to enoch...jehovah and satan were not even on speaking terms during that time.. this quote from enoch 13 takes place shortly after "the fall".. .

1 and enoch went and said: oazazel, thou shalt have no peace: a severe sentence has gone forth.

2 against thee to put thee in bonds: and thou shalt not have toleration nor request granted to thee, because of the unrighteousness which thou hast taught, and because of all the works of godlessness.

lurk3r

which naturally begs the questions about the Book of Job. A fairy tale? A bold faced lie? A misrepresentaion of another possible scenario?

Cam, you made refernce to the " demise" of Job. Long story shorter. He stuck to his guns and was rewarded. Perhaps worth a re read on my part.

lurk3r

15

JWN Idol: What is YOUR Talent?

by cameo-d in

jw
friends

it doesn't have to be stage-worthy.. what "hidden talents" do you have?.

of all the things you do, what is it that you think you do best?.

what do you like to do that really makes you feel happy and "qualified"?.

lurk3r

If you share your seat with me...however you feel and whatever it is that you think, I feel that I have the ability to understand where your coming from.

lrkr