the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.
my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.
i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.
Wow, Lady Lee, your Mother and mine are twins. Mine does and says exactly what your does. Same story with her own Mother too. I, just recently, confronted her and told her, face to face, to stop the lies--I refuse to hear them, etc. She immediately shut up. The whole "The Truth" issue is what kills me. She is a total hypocrite. I now have another book to read. Toxic Parents. Thanks for mentioning that.
This is a really good thread.
Cognac, I really wish you well and hope the best for you. Hugs.
list some thoughts and suggestions for anyone thinking about fading from the organization..
Work obligations, especially with this economy, seem like they might work.
I was lucky in that I went away to college. I was in school, working PT, studying and simply couldn't justify going to meetings to miss studying for class. I could always say I had a test the next day or a quiz in the morning. I was able to fade rather quickly that way.
When I got back home, I started working and went back to school and took more classes. Plus, I was working overtime. My mom simply couldn't justify me not making money. I had student loans, an auto loan and rent (her) to pay, so she knew I needed cash. Work won out over the JWs.
the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.
my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.
i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.
cognac, I am so sorry for your pain.
Bluecanary is correct: most abusers will not acknowledge the abuse and will try mind games on you. The personality disorders (them, not you) is all too common, which is why they abuse children with such abandon. Narcissism is a good thing to read up on.
Reading from a script like that is a good idea. At least you can keep on point and when they try to interrupt of dissuade you, you will not lose your train of thought. I honestly don't know if you'll get closure or healing, but, getting to finally say *it* to them will at least make you feel so much better.
PS: I told my mom about the things (severe abuse-verbal and physical and emotional) she did and said to me and my sister. I got a JW lecture and was told it was because children need to be handled severely so they will get Jehovahs spirit and we deserved it. Believe me when I say that sometimes true closure is never found unless you totally cut them off and get therapy. (I probably should-get therapy)
that makes no sense to me.
you'd get yourself in a jc for a tatoo but i've seen a couple of jws get a boob job and nothing happen... the hypocrisy in endless... .
When you think about it, who is going to point out a boob increase? Other than the Elders wife. She will point out that Sister A now has bigger boobs. What is Elder Joe supposed to do? Say "Yes dear, her breasts do look better. Nice size, shape, perky. Huh, I'm glad you pointed that out. I think I'll go tell Elder Tom and Elder John so we can have a JC. She can tell us when they were done. We may have to have her show us the scars to have proof. Since we'll all be there, we'll have our three witnesses to the offense. I'm wondering if they went in under or through the nipple. Just don't tell Sister D, she is such a gossip."
His wife would kick his ass for pointing out how nice Sister A's boobs look.
So, the better thing to do is look and shut up. Surreptitiously of course. When you're holding the microphone over her head.
a jehovahs witness came to my door today.
she wouldnt breathe long enough for me to say who i was in her presentation.
finally i just interjected "you're a jehovahs witness right?
This is why many of us are here, on this board and others like it. To expose the nutty practices of these people. (that comment was for those who question *why* we are here)
When some JWs came to my door a few months ago and I told them I, too, had been one, they almost fell over themselves when they turned to run. I didn't think my horns had sprouted so quickly.
Idiots. Honestly, this type of blind loyalty to a religion is what makes me believe them totally stupid. I know it's a cult, however, it is just so insane.
When I see my Mom and she suddenly gets a blank stare, like a zombie has taken over, it just reinforces my fears. She is a zombie. To the WTS.
i have a contact who needs an ongoing supply of all watchtower magazines.
they need the printed version, not mp3/mp4.. is there a site i can refer that contact to?.
doug.
Doug, I'm just kidding on the bartering part. I get the mags all the time from my Mom and always throw them out. I figured lots of people get them here, so no one would be interested. If you want, PM me and I'll do what ever to get them to you or whoever. I totally understand the privacy and anonymity issue. I can mail them anywhere, PO box, etc.
i have a contact who needs an ongoing supply of all watchtower magazines.
they need the printed version, not mp3/mp4.. is there a site i can refer that contact to?.
doug.
I just threw out all the mags my mom sent me. I had 3 months worth. Even the Study Version of the WT.
Next time I get my hand out from her, I'll post about it. They come every 6-8 weeks. I'll prod her to keep sending them. On the plus side, it will keep the postal service in business.
I'm willing to barter.
i was raised a jw by very strict parents who, in my early teen years were physically and then later emotionally abusive all the while with my dad being and elder (and he still is).
i didn't want to be a jw then but my life was all about making my parents happy which started with me being baptized at 13. my parents constantly drilled into my head that most things were "bad" and i was "bad" i constantly did whatever i could to avoid being bad.
i had no life but then met a nice jw boy when i was 17. against my better judgement, i stayed with him and married him when i was 20. i didn't have a lot in common with him but he was really nice and was safe - he was a witness and even though i wanted to be in the world so bad i chose to be with him because he would keep me grounded, in the truth and away from where i really wanted to be because it was the right thing to do.. we were married for 7 years and have 3 sons.. for the past few years i've known that i did not want to be a jw even more and was sick of being fake.
Hi Jen and Welcome!
You have received some great advice. I would look to working outside the home as a #1 priority. You need to support yourself and potentially your children. You also need a therapist. Going to an abuse counselor is great advice. Your county or city might actually offer free care, I'd look into that.
As Billy the Ex-Bethelite noted, try not to put too much faith in a rebound relationship and please, for your sake and your future, don't get pregnant yet. You're young, you can wait.
And, best of all, you have this board as a resource. There is a tremendous amount of help to be had. All you have to do is ask.
well, it's been a shocking turn of events around here... her ms husband just got publicly reproved and she's been out partying a lot without him.
and i mean going to clubs to dance with other evidently not so "spiritual" jws... i don't really know what's going on with her.
not sure what her motive is - depression, wanting to just live a life, or avoidance of what's happening???.
I think OTWO is correct-be there for your sister. A true sibling relationship is not worth losing over the JWs if you can help it. I have a sister, I know.
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/.
this website is mocking the worst dressed customers.
hopefully, none of us show up.
When I read the story and tried the link it was down-I'm sure when it hit the news it went crazy. I tried the cache and saw the gal with the finger nails (Yuck--how does she wipe her butt?!).
I tried the link before I put it up and it worked. Sorry about that.
daniel-p, your comments are totally what they point out in the photos.
When I go to Walmart, I am amazed at the sheer number of folks who don't bathe, wear filthy clothing, little clothing, clothing with disgusting things written on them, etc. Then the hair: When I have a bad hair day, I always feel better after I go to Walmart. My worst hair day
The photos on this site really point out that it is worth cleaning up to run to the store no matter what. You never know who is taking a picture now.
