Posts by tympan

18

How does shunning work?

by tympan in

can someone who knows please explain the nuts and bolts of shunning.

i've never been df'd but half of my family has no contact with me at all.

my sister even refused to answer the door when i called around once (only did it once).

tympan

Big Tex: I apologise to you if my post sounded hostile. Maybe I should have cooled down a little before I responded. I was a bit hurt at what I perceived as an attack on my motives.

It was never my intention to generate any controversy. It was simply a question that has occurred to me while reading other threads referring to shunning. Maybe I could have worded it a little better. Once again, I am sorry for my clumsy words.

Our responses to the hurt caused to each of us is obviously different. Mine has been to completely distance myself emotionally and mentally from the way I was bought up. As I said on another thread, it took me years and years to first admit to anyone that I was ever a jw. Even now, most of friends and colleagues no nothing of my upbringing and early part of my life. It's still not something that I feel in anyway comfortable talking about.

Thanks to all who have responded in such a detailed and considered manner to my initial question.

So, how does shunning work?

The final word to oompa: very, very well!!! Now that's gold! Thanks oompa.

18

How does shunning work?

by tympan in

can someone who knows please explain the nuts and bolts of shunning.

i've never been df'd but half of my family has no contact with me at all.

my sister even refused to answer the door when i called around once (only did it once).

tympan

I n response to Big Tex.

I'm curious. You describe yourself, in your first post, as a "third-generation witness", and yet you now claim to know nothing about a very basic tenent of Jehovah's Witnesses -- shunning? You also claim to have been in a branch office for 3 years as well as being a "big shot" in the local congregation.

I started this thread to clarify in my mind exactly how the process of shunning works. Which is why I asked for a technical description of the way the policy is instituted. As I stated, I am not df'd so I was wondering how my relatives justify, to themselves, their behaviour toward me.

As far as my stating that I was a big-shot in my local congregation - well that's how I viewed myself at that young age. I thought I was really important, a vital cog. In reality I was just another self-righteous wanker.

How do you not know anything about the consequences of being disfellowshipped (or disassocating), much less know nothing about "marking", a teaching that has been in place since the early 1980's ?

Where did I ever, in any of my posts, state that I know nothing of disfellowshipping or disassociating? I actually stated in my question above that I am not df'd. I toyed with the idea of disassociating myself for many years, but in the end I decided that I'd be only playing their (the org's) game. I decided (mainly in the hope of family harmony - vainly as it turned out) that I would let the whole thing slip of the org's radar.

I would be interested in hearing a response from this person. I, for one, wasn't raised a Witness and yet I knew exactly what shunning was very early on. I haven't been a Witness for 20 years and I've never once forgotten what "marking" is or what it means. I just find it odd this person "forgets".

Well good for you! I haven't been a witness for 15 years, and I have purposely forgotten as much as I could about the single most painful thing in my life. Why do you judge me by your standards? Leaving the jw's was something that shattered my world. Forgive me if I cannot recall the minutiae of the arcane policies of the wt. That was the point of my post. I couldn't remember the exact details of the policy and I appreciate the detailed responses of the above posters.

I have a lot of other questions that I would like to ask. I have not had any official contact with the jw's in those 15 years. In my short time on this forum, I can see that things have changed a great deal since I left. I often read hints of these changes on various threads and would like to know more. I also read of things that I'd forgotten about or have only a limited recollection. This generates in me the desire to know more. The first time I ask about one of these issues, I get accused by someone as being a troll. In light of the warm welcome I received when I joined, it's a little hurtful.

skeeter1 writes:

Imagine if everyone in your family died today. That is how shunning feels. If you call them up, they will hang up the phone. Letters will be returned. It's devastating and has lead to suicides.

Too true, skeeter1. There's nothing worse than calling home and being told by your father "I have no son" and then being hung up on.

25

The "Marital Due"

by Lady Lee in

i wasn't sure whether to put this in scandals or beliefs and practices.

it could easily go in either.. this topic has been discussed plenty of times.

it seems to me that this is a much bigger problem in the jws than most people realize.

tympan

Yes Lady Lee it's sickening alright.

This low life cleric was widely and roundly condemned for his disgusting comments here in Australia.

I believe the phrase is "Lie back and think of England".

It's a Victorian expression and was used as sex education by English establishment mothers to their daughters.

70

How long were you a member of Jehovahs Witnesses?

by Quirky1 in

jw
friends

me, about 7 years...

tympan

Born in.

Baptised @ 17.

Pioneer/Bethel/Pioneer

Started fading @ 26

Last meeting @ 27

Never been back.

Now 42.

25

The "Marital Due"

by Lady Lee in

i wasn't sure whether to put this in scandals or beliefs and practices.

it could easily go in either.. this topic has been discussed plenty of times.

it seems to me that this is a much bigger problem in the jws than most people realize.

tympan

22 January 2009

Muslim cleric tells Australians: 'Husbands should be allowed to rape and beat their wives'

A Muslim cleric has sparked outrage by telling his followers it is acceptable to rape and beat their wives.

Samir Abu Hamza, who runs an Islamic centre in Melbourne, ridiculed Australian laws banning forced sex within marriage.

Hamza told a male audience in Sydney: 'Amazing, how can a person rape his wife?'

He added that wives must immediately respond to their husbands' sexual demands.

The firebrand preacher also said a man was entitled to use 'limited force' as a last resort to punish a disobedient wife.

He explained: 'After you have advised them for a long, long time, then you smack them, you beat them and - please brothers, calm down - the beating that the Muhammad showed is like the toothbrush that you use to brush your teeth.'

'You are not allowed to bruise them; you are not allowed to make them bleed,' he added in a video of the 2003 lecture in Sydney recently posted online.

'You don't go and grab a broomstick and say that is what Allah has said.'

(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1126556/Muslim-cleric-tells-Australians-Husbands-allowed-rape-beat-wives.html)

18

How does shunning work?

by tympan in

can someone who knows please explain the nuts and bolts of shunning.

i've never been df'd but half of my family has no contact with me at all.

my sister even refused to answer the door when i called around once (only did it once).

tympan

Thanks viva & Nellie.

That's the term I was looking for - marking. I'd forgotten about that little gem and how it works.

18

How does shunning work?

by tympan in

can someone who knows please explain the nuts and bolts of shunning.

i've never been df'd but half of my family has no contact with me at all.

my sister even refused to answer the door when i called around once (only did it once).

tympan

Well thanks OUTLAW. Nice one.

I was actually after a more doctrinal/technical definition and description from the org's point of view.

18

How does shunning work?

by tympan in

can someone who knows please explain the nuts and bolts of shunning.

i've never been df'd but half of my family has no contact with me at all.

my sister even refused to answer the door when i called around once (only did it once).

tympan

Can someone who knows please explain the nuts and bolts of shunning.

I've never been df'd but half of my family has no contact with me at all. My sister even refused to answer the door when I called around once (only did it once).

Certainly feels like I'm shunnee.

141

JWs & Atheists - Great (Cultic) Minds Think Alike

by Perry in

jws & atheists - great (cultic) minds think alike.

in the jehovahs witness religion, there is a ceremony known in those circles as the memorial of christs death, or just the memorial for short.

it is claimed and believed among members that jehovahs witnesses observe the exact same ceremony that is more widely known as the lords supper among christians.

tympan

How come Perry hates atheists so much?

What have they ever done to him?

9

faith a virtue?

by John Doe in

jw
friends

"the good, say the mystics of spirit, is god, a being whose only definition is that he is beyond man's power to conceive- a definition that invalidates man's consciousness and nullifies his concepts of existence...man's mind, say the mystics of spirit, must be subordinated to the will of god... man's standard of value, say the mystics of spirit, is the pleasure of god, whose standards are beyond man's power of comprehension and must be accepted on faith....the purpose of man's life...is to become an abject zombie who serves a purpose he does not know, for reasons he is not to question.. .

for centuries, the mystics of spirit had existed by running a protection racket - by making life on earth unbearable, then charging you for consolation and relief, by forbidding all the virtues that make existence possible, then riding on the shoulders of your guilt, by declaring production and joy to be sins, then collecting blackmail from the sinners.. .

...if devotion to truth is the hallmark of morality, then there is no greater, nobler, more heroic form of devotion than the act of a man who assumes the responsibility of thinking.... the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind.

tympan

That's because knowledge leads us faithful to be forgiving and tolerant of ourselves as well as others.

You must be joking, snowbird!

The most vicious and protracted of human conflicts are rooted in disputes about interpretations of god. Faith leads to a much greater level of intolerance.

Look at the the wave of bombings and violence that resulted from the publication of a cartoon in Denmark a little while back. When people professing faith are willing to kill other people on the basis of cartoon, then I think the world would be a much better place without religious faith.