I never became a zelouse witness, but i do remember being a borg kid
There was NO ONE my age at the meetings for most of my childhood. Except at one stage there was this half in half out family who had a fat annoying kid who never stopped boasting. And since i wasnt allowed to go to school camps and go to sleepovers I never was able to make friends in real life. I was always scared to make worldly friends because i would have to tell them why i cant come over, go to birthdays, ect... it's just easier to not have close friends and just walk in the shadows. To this day i havent made any close friends, like someone i can just ring and say "hey wanna go out"
I remember the meetings were BORING!!! The elders seemed to resent having to give talks and would "um" and "ar" for endless hours. When i use to go to the toliets during the songs i would just stand in there swaying my head sometimes trying to feel something, like a lion in a cage. There's only so many things to draw on your note pad, there's only so long you can look at the pictures in the watch tower. I cant think of anything less natural for little boys to do.
I remeber HATING suits. They are itchy and there's nothing worse than on a beautiful sunny day putting on an itchy suit and going BORING witnessing with dad for 2 hours and seeing other peoples kids have waterfights and actually do stuff. I wanted to play in mud and be rough but i had to walk at a slow pace with straight back and hand out stupid Jehovah mags.
I remember wishing my life away. Thinking "I wish time would go faster" (what a disgusting thought for a little kids, or anyone) I remember the family awkwardly sitting around the table reading the whole watchtower chapter, it went on forever under my dads control. I would keep flicking to the last page to see how long to go. Then the bloody question box would take another 5mins. "CAN WE SKIP IT?? PLEASE??"
I remember everything was about rules. "oh no we dont watch that show, oh no we dont celebrate that" It seemed that being a jehovah witness was about how many things i did wrong. The only value i had was how well i could be a jehovah witness. I didnt matter as a person, all that mattered was how jehovah witness i could be. And it seemed like everyone else was better at it than me. In my mind no one else was bored at the meetings and everyone loved witnessing. I felt like i had been thrown into some alien planet and didnt understand their customs
anyway just thought i'd reflect on this (out loud)
what do you guys remember?