finally awake - that is a very good point.
Punishment cannot be "one size fits all".
I recall one time our son getting into some minor, teenage "wrong-doing" with another boy in the congregation. The other boy's parents wanted to go to the elders and have them punish their kid. He was a head-strong, "I don't give a crap what anyone says, Imma do whatever I want" kind of kid.
Our son was not. I wanted to just handle it in our family, what they had done was really not that bad. but since the other family wanted to go to the elders, we were forced to handle it with them, as well.
Going to the elders was the WORST thing we could've done for our son. He was humiliated, threatened and harrassed.
I wish now, I had stood up for him and refused to allow them to even talk to him.
But the elders wouldn't even allow me in the room with them and my son - they only allowed his dad. I wasn't even allowed to know what all had been said.
Sucks having no penis in that religion......