Like chikpea, I feel relief that I am not a part of it anymore and that my children do not have to do it anymore. I travel a bit on the road, yet hardly see them anymore, numbers are down a lot here in Australia as well. I wouldnt say I feel anger when I see them out, just frustration, frustration that I devoted so much of my life to it and frustration for those I see in the field (they certainly do not have the kingdom smile any more on their face, just a blank "I don't want to be here" look)
Everytime I ring my broither who is still in it, he is always under pressure, (they just made him a M/S a year ago), he is trying to run his own business, support his wife n kids, yet he is under constant pressure to "take the lead", "reach out", "be seen in the ministry" "do more" "support the weekend f/s groups".
I remember that pressure and hated it....
Mattieu