wantstoleave

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Posts by wantstoleave

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  41

  Do you know of ones who were mentally ill, that were labled as being demon posessed?

  by miseryloveselders in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have a few mentally ill ones in our congregation, and i don't mean suffering from depression or anxiety.

  i'm not even talking mild bipolar.

  i'm talking really messed up in the head, schizophrenic types, and bipolar withpsychotic features.

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  wantstoleave

  I personally know many who suffer from mental issues and in the past have come into contact with many unsympathetic, judging elders. For instance my dad and his OCD. While he is not delusional or anything remotely like that, the elders used to avoid him. Now, to this day my father is extremely zealous and strong in his faith and I love that about him. But how much easier his life would've been with a bit of association from the congregation...but it never happened. And because of my dad's mental illness, us kids were avoided like the plague. You can imagine how lonely our growing years were .

  In fact, only last year, some 20yrs after dad's illness was diagnosed, I overheard some 20 somethings talking about me and how 'you know her dad is nuts, so is she'. I mean, where did THAT come from?? Why did they feel they could judge me or my dad like that? My dad (and me) is nowhere near nuts. He keeps to himself, studies the bible everyday for hours, keeps his nose clean and is the meekest, mildest, well spoken man I have ever met.

  Thankfully I think the organisation is starting to view mental illness in a better light and for the most part, just *some* elders still have the mentality that it's self brought on or demonic. Now my dad is in a different congregation, he receives many visitors and is loved by all. If only he had received that same care 20yrs ago!
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  28

  Sexism and the Organization

  by brotherdan in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know this may be a touchy subject, but it's something that i think has been so obvious for the last few weeks at the meetings.

  let me start by saying that i do understand the "headship" arrangement, and agree that it is biblical.. but it seems that the tendency is to take it way too far.

  whenever speaking about training children, i've noticed that the boys are told to be trained by their fathers in various types of work, including trades.

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  wantstoleave

  While I am 'domesticated'...lol...I hate to cook! But being the good JW wife I was, did it because I was supposed to . My good for nothing ex refused to go out to work, so even while pregnant I worked full time and then again when the babies were 3wks old, plus get up at the crack of dawn to do all the housework so he could sit on his butt all day. He saw no need to 'provide' for his family. He was in no way a spiritual head either. Yet when it came down to it, it was 'his way' or the highway .

  Didn't matter that I was (still am) chronically ill. The elders never bothered to tell him to pull his finger out either. As long as they saw us at meetings, they didn't care and thought everything was dandy.

  Headship has always been a topic of contention for me because I've seen men abuse it. There are however some good JW men out there who respect their wives and treat them like princesses, but unfortunately it's few and far between. I still remember hearing a brother I knew go to the elders because his wife wasn't 'rendering him his due' as often as he wanted. The elders then had a sit down meeting with her and told her she HAD to, whether she was tired or not. Nevermind she was working, taking care of 4 kids and running a house.
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  10

  disfellowshipping

  by ex-chum in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  typically is there a limit to the number of disfellowships a person can receive before they're "out"?

  i'm specifically referring to my ex, who has a marriage/relationship that results in a babyx2.

  she just mentioned that it was harder to get back into good graces this last time.

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  wantstoleave

  Hahaha!!! Think she's in the UK if you're keen...lol. And yeh, DF for not keeping her knickers on...LOL!
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  10

  disfellowshipping

  by ex-chum in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  typically is there a limit to the number of disfellowships a person can receive before they're "out"?

  i'm specifically referring to my ex, who has a marriage/relationship that results in a babyx2.

  she just mentioned that it was harder to get back into good graces this last time.

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  wantstoleave

  I know a girl who was DF 4x - all for the SAME sin. No idea if she's trying to be reinstated this time or not.
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  11

  A witness just knocked on my door

  by mrsjones5 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i opened my door and it was a jw man and his son (he looked about 10 or 11).

  boy, did the son look like wanted to be anywhere else instead of being stuck going door to door.. the father asked if i read the bible.

  he replied that the bible is a complicated book and folks don't know where to start (my mind flashed "at the beginning numbnut.

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  wantstoleave

  Should've asked him to put you down as a do not call...lol.
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  22

  How do you deal with shunning ?

  by man in black in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife and i da'ed ourselves two years ago.

  she left because she felt there was no forward momentum in the congregation.. me: because i really started to notice the lack of love and concern amoungst "true christians".

  we have gotten to the point now where we will say hello to any jw's we run into, but the total avoidance thing is starting to get somewhat creepy to me.. example : my wife was in target several weeks ago, put her items on the belt and was getting ready to checkout.

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  wantstoleave

  I think if people in the congregation were to shun me, I would continue being the kind, loving person I am...the person they know...and not get upset or in a huff about it. I would still smile or wave, but probably wouldn't get into conversation with them. I'd be polite.

  When it comes down to it, we're often victims of our own circumstance and if they had been good friends prior to DA/DF, then they would know only too well what we deal with on a daily basis. So for that reason, they shouldn't judge. Having said that, like Blondie said, witnesses like to judge. So it's up to us to grow a thick skin and try and ignore how it makes us upset and move on.
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  33

  Bitterness

  by LostGeneration in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you overcome this?

  i just got done reading isocf and toward the end ray warns against bitterness.

  i guess i just can't agree with that.

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  wantstoleave

  Bitterness to me is misplaced anger. We all have things we could be bitter about, but it's how we put that feeling to use that is the important thing.

  For instance my ex abandoning me. I could've very easily become bitter and twisted, but I didn't. While I admit I went through all of the emotions associated with grief, and also much anger....I didn't let the bitterness overtake me. Some will say to embrace the feeling, others will tell you to ignore it. I would say let it manifest in a positive way. For example, you feel bitter and cheated about how you grew up....so turn that into a positive by taking yourself out, maybe with friends, have a good time...and look to your bright future. Try not to dwell on the past.

  x
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  14

  Education Flip Flop

  by hoser in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finished reading god's word for us through jeremiah and found this interesting quote on page 45 par 7:.

  "for example a man might reason, i have to hold down a job to support my family, which is understandable.

  what if that led him to think, i need .

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  wantstoleave

  They make it that way because they think that Jehovah will come to your aid as long as you're faithful. Basically, don't support yourself - Jehovah will. And also because they know that when you go onto higher education, you are open to new ways of thinking. It's all about control.

  I remember going to University and boy was it drummed into me by the elders how wrong I was! They would not leave me alone, yet I made all meetings and field service. Looking back, I was running on auto pilot. I never got to experience University life, because I was either studying or being a good witness girl. In fact they got to a point where they wouldn't let me answer up at meetings. It was SO noticeable. There'd be no other hands up, but no, they wouldn't call on me.

  Conventions here as long as I can remember discourage against higher education in any form. They only seem to encourage brothers to get a trade, a physical one like window cleaning or building houses etc. Doesn't leave much for the sisters other than to raise a family and pioneer! I was never going to be a pioneer, so for me University was the way to go. Funnily enough, the same elders who 'poo pooed' me going to University now praise me for having a degree to fall back on. Go figure!
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  20

  Sis loved the convention sooooo much going to same one twice!

  by outlander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sister just informed me that even though she went to the latest convention once already in one city she is going to ride with a friend to attend the 3rd.

  day of same convention in another city.

  because it was just so very interesting, with all the new lite and all.

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  wantstoleave

  Yes, definitely shopping for a partner! And what better way, given that she can show how spiritual she is for attending more than once...lol. For me, even while single, once was enough!
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  15

  Biggest Reason For My Leaving....

  by Fester in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i wanted to share with everyone, why i left religion all together, in favor of thinking for myself, and believing in myself.. in the bible, there are of course several accounts which i consider to be barbaric and gruesome.

  i also consider the worst accounts to be inhumane.

  if the bible god is consistent in one thing, it is the continuing theme of inflicting torture and torment on humanity.

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  wantstoleave

  That was one of the scriptures that instilled fear in me as a child. Dad used to say if children didn't do good, or disobeyed, maybe Jehovah would do the same to kids one day In fact, I was only thinking about it the other day. Hate those verses.