Posts by wantstoleave

25

What do you think about this kid?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

my adult stepson, who lives with us, has his daughter every other week.

she turned one in march.

she's very bright, verbal and started walking at 9 months.

wantstoleave

My oldest was similar, reached milestones very early, talked early and everything else. Yet he was extremely hyperactive and 'odd'. Have you noticed anything else she does? My son was diagnosed at age 3 as high functioning autism. To everyone else, he looks and acts normal. But then they hear him talk about things he's interested in, he can't hold a conversation, has fears and obsessions and lots of sensory problems. And he's SO loud! Yet he can't handle noise. Go figure! What you need to do is speak to a Dr or do a google search on ADHD and autism. They go hand in hand.

My son would line toys up. He wouldn't play with regular toys. He'd use household items and things. He could recite his alphabet and numbers before he was 1 ! He was soooo clever. I thought he was just a hyperactive little einstein..lol. But as he got older, I noticed more odd behaviour. He screamed all the time for no reason. He never slept, not even naps. And during the night I was up EVERY hour with him. This only started waning when he was about 4yrs old.

Just keep watch of her, and monitor things she does. Maybe keep a little diary. Does she have trouble with sensory issues? Sound, touch, sight etc? My son cannot stand being wet, having mess anywhere on him, fluff and taking his shoes off. He can't stand loud noise, though is very loud himself. He is obsessive with certain subjects of interest. He watches dvds over and over and has frequent meltdowns. Yet he's so happy and lovable. Everyone he meets loves him. His hyperactivity didn't wane until he was over 3yrs old.

Btw, my son is VERY social. He talks constantly, loves attention and being in peoples company. The difference being is that his behaviour isn't always socially appropriate. That is where every autistic child differs. Some prefer to be alone. Others prefer to be with people, but on their own. And some like being with people but only talking and doing things that interest them.

8

Woe to the Pregnant woman

by exwhyzee in

jw
friends

luke 21:23 " woe to the pregnant woman and the ones suckling a baby in those days!

for there will be great necessity upon the land and wrath on this people.. the society always applied this scripture, which was talking about the destruction of jerusalem, to the last days and the destruction of this system of things.

the big 1975 push was in full swing when my mother found out she was pregnant with my youngest sister.

wantstoleave

Reading this made me remember past worries too. I was terrified of death when I was little, and armageddon. I never enjoyed my own pregnancies because I feared the tribulation would break out while I was pregnant and all the terrible things that could be done to me. I also feared I wouldn't see my kids grow up. I absolutely hated that fear. That's one reason I'm exiting now. I don't want my own children living with the same fear.

17

Younger wife ploy?

by dgp in

on another thread (http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/196874/1/older-man-marries-younger-woman-yes3b-younger-man-marries-older-woman, i wrote the following:.

by the way, this question of mine doesn't come out of thin air.

i happen to have met a man, in his seventies, who was made an offer that he was supposed not to be able to refuse.

wantstoleave

dgp...yes exactly Yet if a brother has been married before, there is no stigma attached. Very unfair. It's common to hear people gossip about the ex wife 'oh she couldn't cook' or 'she couldn't keep house' but rarely is a word said about a brother besides 'poor thing'. I hate the double standard

67

Christians, Is it okay for engaged couples to have sex before marriage?

by asilentone in

.

wantstoleave

5thgeneration....you mentioned exactly what I was going to, the engagement being viewed as 'married'. In fact, my then fiance (now ex husband) used that with me many a time. All he wanted was sex and a clear conscience at the same time. I was a good witness girl and wasn't having a bar of it, so he forced me to have sex (days out from the wedding) and then made me keep it secret .

I remember when I was 13 and a school friend quizzing me on the no sex before marriage rule and her saying 'but what if you get married and find out he's a dud in bed?'. I laughed it off thinking it would never happen to me (it didn't) but now I realise what she was saying. I now think try before you buy is a good way to look at it .

40

Older man marries younger woman, yes; younger man marries older woman?

by dgp in

i understand that marriages between an older man and a much younger woman are a fact of jw life.

the reasons i have seen include the lack of an available prospect, of the fact that the older man has some power in the congregation and therefore marrying him is something like an advantage.

i wonder what the advantage can be, and i would appreciate any light on this (new or old).. but, how often does a younger man marry an older woman?

wantstoleave

I've only known of one sister who married a younger brother. The age gap was about 10yrs but she looked much older than her actual age and brought a teenage child to the relationship. They have separated after about 6yrs of marriage. She still wants him, he doesn't want her.

Unfortunately it's all too common to see much older brothers with very young sisters. It's almost a social norm amongst the witnesses. I think age is a state of mind in most cases, and if the couple is genuinely happy, then good luck to them. I think it becomes unacceptable to observers when there is such a huge age gap, like 20yrs or more. In saying that, who are we to judge if they're happy?

What I don't like seeing is 70yr old brothers marrying 20yr old sisters . It happens alot here. Or brothers remarrying within months of their wife dying. A very well known very old brother did that here recently. To his face everyone applauds him and says they wish him well but behind his back they cough in disgust. The new wife does not look at all happy.

17

Younger wife ploy?

by dgp in

on another thread (http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/196874/1/older-man-marries-younger-woman-yes3b-younger-man-marries-older-woman, i wrote the following:.

by the way, this question of mine doesn't come out of thin air.

i happen to have met a man, in his seventies, who was made an offer that he was supposed not to be able to refuse.

wantstoleave

Definitely have seen this happen numerous times over the years at the KH. The old guys always end up with the young women. I think there was a marriage here recently of a 70+ yr old brother who married a mid 20's sister and only a few months after his wife died. Literally every few months I hear of this occurring. Just makes me want to vomit. Indeed when I divorced, though not scripturally, the elders hinted to me that in time I would find an older, wiser, more spiritual man. When I jokingly queried 'yeh what age?'....they responded 'well you're 28 with 2 kids, so maybe a brother in his 50's or 60's'. I just told them 'no way'.

Unfortunately 'in the truth' sisters outnumber the brothers 3:1 at least, and if you're labelled 'damaged goods', then you've got little to no hope of finding a brother your own age.

38

" i was out in the world and belive me!! Its a terrible place! We are so blessed to be in the truth!"

by highdose in

jw
friends

this is an assertion leveled at me recently.

the speaker has the advantage over me in that i was born and bred in the borg and have only recently jumped ship.. what, can i ask would your responce be to this?.

wantstoleave

Lol I have heard that expression so many times. Most recently from my father who was raised a catholic and became at witness at about age 23. I've also heard it from ones who've been Df and returned. I could care less really. What I do with my life is my business. I'm beginning to get tough! Lol..

Btw, KH's over here ALL have windows

73

what was the worst advice given to you while you were a JW ?

by wasblind in

mine's was, if your job interfere with the meetings you have to decide who you will choose,.

serving jehovah or serving man, if anyone knew my needs it most definitely was jehovah.

and he knew i needed my job to eat.

wantstoleave

CHG....I can sympathise with you on the ex leaving you with debt. Same happened to me. Fortunately I had caring elders who told me to make sure I sought legal advice to make sure the children and I were ok. Thankfully their concern was what was in my best interests and they didn't even blink an eye when I divorced him .

10

Can Jehovah Really Read Hearts?

by Yan Bibiyan in

(a)if jehovah can really read the heart, then he with no doubt would have read the hearts of the perfect adam and eve and would have known that they will sin when set up for a (failure) test.

then he would have known that he will punish them and all mankind for many thousands of years, which would case immense suffering, all to prove a point to his archnemesis!.

in the real world, an example comes to mind.

wantstoleave

I always used to debate this with my dad when I was little. The, 'if Jehovah knows us so well, then he MUST have known Adam and Eve would eat that fruit' and 'he must have known Satan had a bad heart'. My dads response was always 'yes, but he gives us the power of reason and lets us choose our own way'. I just couldn't get past that and still can't.

19

The pieces finally come together

by man in black in

this afternoon i got a letter stating that i was accepted to accompany a ww 2 veteran on a flight to washington dc to visit the ww2 memorial in september.. www.honorflight.org.

i also was called to check up on the health of several horses that some friends of my wife adopted, they are very underweight belgians, and these.

new owners want to make sure that they are taken care of.

wantstoleave

Aw thanks for sharing that! Your life sounds very fulfilling and happy, well done .

I haven't had any moments like that yet, but within myself, I feel happier. Although I've not openly come out with my decision to leave, I think mentally I am almost there. I have accepted I am not a witness anymore and I feel a sense of freedom I've never known. Each day I drive past the KH en-route to wherever, I can't help but feel pity for them, yet I accept it's their life and I respect that. My children still pipe up 'there's the KH mummy' and that bothers me...lol...but I will get past that.