Posts by Heaven

15

Another Newbie...

by CrazyBlonde in

jw
friends

i have been lurking for a while, just joined.

nice to see there are so many others out there who feel/felt how i feel.... long story short - i was born into it, started having doubts about age 6, but what can you do when you have over controlling parents whose only goal is to make you a pioneer and ship you off to bethel so you can be like your goody-two-shoe brothers.

suffered through my school years being bullied with no friends - parents made sure that i was very different from other kids inc how i dressed and even what i ate to the point where i was apparently known as the ugly hippie.

Heaven

CrazyBlonde ... welcome! or... in the immortal words of my neice.... "hey".

Glad you're listening to yourself. But you don't have to take your word for it -- there's tons of evidence readily available now thanks to the interweb! And it just keeps building. I knew there were issues years ago but I have learned so much in the last year or so. I read "Crisis of Conscience" and checked out YouTube videos and other web sites. What an eye opener!

I call my experience 'The Hokey Pokey'. My maternal grandfather converted from Catholicism to JW and that started it all. My father didn't have much interest in it when I was young, but my mom did. My parents didn't get baptized until I was an adult and 'long gone'. Off and on we had WTS book studies during my childhood. We used to celebrate all the holidays but that all stopped as I got older. As my knowledge of the Bible grew so did my doubts.

My father is a Ministerial Servant in his 80s. He can't keep up the pace anymore though. While I don't agree with him on the WTS stuff and have had a number of reasons to disown him, I did not allow ties to be severed as I wanted to apply Jesus' teachings in my life to show him that you can be a great Christian outside of the WTS.

45

What Makes a Person Vulnerable to Join a Cult ? By Steve Hassan

by flipper in

jw
friends

most of us often wonder with amazement how we ever got caught up in the jehovah's witnesses mind control after having been out for awhile.

and we still wonder how some of our relatives stay trapped inside it.

well, steve hassans book " releasing the bonds " explains briefly in chapter 4 how it can happen.

Heaven

Cults prey on the vulnerable, whether you are unaware of them or you have a void that needs filling in your life. Make damn sure you have a plan for what you are gonna do with yourself before you retire!

Retirement is one of the biggest changes you'll ever make in your life. My father retired and was floudering (drinking a lot!). The JWs got him when he was vulnerable (there's that 'V' word again!). Counsellors urge us to start planning at least 10 years before we expect to retire. Do your research and planning.

"Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail"

Luckily for me, we Canadians no longer have a mandatory retirement age. I don't have to worry about any of this because I'll have to work 'til I die thanks to the company and the manipulation going on with the economies by the power elites.

"Would you like fries with that?" or how about... "Welcome to Tim Horton's. What can I get for you?"

12

Manipulation as its worst

by unbeliever in

jw
friends

my brother has been dating this woman for 6 months.

he made it clear from the very beginning before they got serious that he would not marry her or anyone for that matter.

does not want a repeat.

Heaven

UN-B ... How your brother handles this situation is going to shape the rest of his life! It is imperative that he handle it the right way. He needs to take a leadership role here (time to grow up). The anger and hatred he feels need to be processed so that he can channel them into something positive. Maybe suggest he seek some counselling on how to deal with these emotions. His gf should do the same.

These 2 need a 3rd alternative that is workable for both of them. I don't agree with his gf trying to manipulate him into marriage as this will only cause it to fail, ultimately. Abortion will only scar the 2 of them for life. What happened to their 'love'?

His idea about marrying his gf until after the child is born and then divorcing her is the same manipulation that the gf is trying on him, so he becomes the manipulator. How is that good?

So... a 3rd alternative could be....

Marry his gf with a pre-nuptual agreement that outlines exactly what is expected in the marriage and parenting of the child. Maybe check to see if there are any precedences on this. The child will have 'a name' (if that's at issue here) and protects all parties involved, including each parent.

I hope they can come to an agreement. Some specialized counselling would be an excellent idea. They'll need their lawyers.

25

Who is funny ?

by cluless in

jw
friends

laurel & hardy.

keaton.

seinfelt.

Heaven

Here are some female comedians: Lucille Ball, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, Amy Poehler, Paula Poundstone, Tina Fey, Catherine O'Hara, Andrea Martin, Cathy Jones, Mary Walsh

"Now You Are Family" - Andrea Martin (Canadian): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWispEM3900

As for men, you guys have quite a good list going. I like Jackie Gleason, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Jeff Foxworthy, Rhod Gilbert, Ron James, Derek Edwards, Shaun Majumder, Rick Mercer, Greg Thomey, Steve Smith ... to name a few.

"Canada Revenue Agency 2007" by Rick Mercer (Canadian): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y8alcvdWYw&feature=related

"Duncan of Nazareth" by Derek Edwards (Canadian): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QstCh7Z4Y_k

"Computer Rant" by Ron James (Canadian): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wjyrp6lYI2I&feature=related

"Luggage Problems" by Rhod Gilbert (Welsh): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGAD1uTR1SY

93

Awesome blog re blood issue

by rebel8 in

jw
friends

just found this.. http://freeminds.org/blogs/kerry-louderback-wood/kerry-louderback-wood-an-introduction.html .

.

Heaven

I was surprised to learn about their blood policy 'new light' now allowing for 'fractions'. Yeah... I've been surprised a lot lately. I started getting a headache just reading it! Anyone who was in before this I would imagine has a hard time with it (... or maybe they're somewhat relieved?).

Their blood policy was another reason I never joined as I couldn't reconcile it with the Bible. This is how I thought of it.....

Most JWs use the Acts scripture 'abstain from blood' as their reasoning. Ok, so doesn't it follow then that if you are to voluntarily stay away from blood that you should remove the blood from your body? Wouldn't this be the ultimate adherence to this scripture as per their interpretation?

I find that the policy doesn't reconcile with Leviticus 17:14 'for the life of all flesh is the blood'. In essence, their blood policy is denying them the right to life.

Just one of the many messed up policies they developed (continue to develop?) in an attempt to convince people they are God's one true religion.

94

What Was The Very First Thing That Came Across Your Eyes That Lead You Down The Road To Doubt?

by Yizuman in

jw
friends

any of you remember what was exactly the first thing that crossed your eyeballs to lead you into doubting the wts?.

Heaven

Yizuman ... excellent question! I had to think on that one as it has been a while.

For me, it was the 4 pages for girls versus 2 paragraphs for boys in the "Your Youth" book (1976) on sexual responsibility. The JWs place the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the girls.

One other event was my mother telling me that, after 15-16 years of adamantly supporting 'Creation', she felt that maybe there was something to evolution. Say What? I'm out!

21

rest home for old brothers and sisters

by Motema Bolingo in

jw
friends

we have just seen a lettre sent by the bethel in holland (emmen) to the dutch elders.. the document is dated 14 april 20008. the society doesn't allow that a member of a congregation takes the initiative to open a rest home.

for old brothers and sisters.. we wonder if the instructions were local or spread worldwide.. thank you for your help.

.

Heaven

Bonnie-Clyde: I am sorry to hear your parents were treated in this manner. Sounds like different congregations have different priorities. Maybe my parents' situation was unique?

I do know that once my mom's health got to a certain point, it was not good for her to have the JWs come as she was having a very difficult time with new people (my father was living in a new area at this point and my mother did not know any of the members of his new congregation). She suffered from dementia including short term memory loss. I am grateful she didn't live long enough to reach the point where she didn't recognize her family.

61

A Secret about DF'ing that Elders will NEVER tell you.

by Amazing in

jw
friends

when i discussed this with some ex-jws in the past, they have pointed out to me that the following is not done in actual pracrice.

of course it is not done in practrice ... that is why i referred to it as a "secret" because elders do not normally disclose such information, either because they fear its effect, or because they have not thoroughly paid attention to the "pay attention" book.

in this post, i am not arguing about actual practice ... rather what the undisclosed, withheld, secretive information is ... and how being armed may allow """some""" jws to relax their conscience.. a secret that elders will not openly tell you.

Heaven

My uncle was DF'ed. I don't know why (no one would say). I figured he'd had a disagreement with someone with clout. Then those that DF'ed him got DF'ed so they re-instated him. Huh? He went back because he wanted everlasting life and the joy of seeing his daughter in the new world (she had died due to a nasty car accident). The control and brainwashing these clowns exact is highly effective!

Secrecy is a great control mechanism. If things are kept secret, you don't have to prove them. Isn't this against the Bible? (1 Thessalonians 5:21: "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." KJV)

Three of the many reasons I never joined this farce -- the DFing insanity, the secrecy, and the non-Biblical practices/beliefs.

Heaven

21

rest home for old brothers and sisters

by Motema Bolingo in

jw
friends

we have just seen a lettre sent by the bethel in holland (emmen) to the dutch elders.. the document is dated 14 april 20008. the society doesn't allow that a member of a congregation takes the initiative to open a rest home.

for old brothers and sisters.. we wonder if the instructions were local or spread worldwide.. thank you for your help.

.

Heaven

I'd have to ask my father. I figure if you wanted to go ahead with this that you'd have to get the blessing of the WTS (if you're a JW). There are retirement facilities available in Ontario, Canada. Here is their website: http://www.jah-jireh.on.ca/about-us.html I imagine there is a waiting list. If what I have been reading is accurate about the world's population aging, the WTS may have to reconsider the policy you have outlined.

My financial advisor said retirement homes would be a good investment vehicle as the need just keeps on growing! Haven't done any research on the ROI as the idea doesn't really appeal to me. I tend to be wary of these places in general due to stories from friends who have relatives in them as well as news reports.

It is my understanding that, statistically, elderly people do much better staying in their own homes. As my father ages I keep an eye on him as I expect some services may be needed. I am not sure I could co-habitate with him but it may have to be considered. Maybe there is an opportunity here to start a specialized service to ensure people can stay in their homes but have their needs taken care of (instead of putting them in a foreign place that isn't their own). We do have some community services available in Ontario for the elderly but they are quite minimal, especially if they know that those needing the services have family available. We utilized these services when my mom was still alive.

It has been my experience that as the level of health of the elderly person deteriorates, the local JW congregation will make arrangements to accommodate this, especially if the elderly are 'house bound'. Heaven

29

My Grandmother has died today

by GermanXJW in

jw
friends

this morning, my grandmother died at age 92. she was a jw and i never told her that i quit years ago (but i guess my father told her).

fortunately, i had a chance to see her a last time this tuesday when i tried to see her and learnt she was in hospital.

my father had not told me that she was in hospital.

Heaven

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. I have lost a lot of family, including all of my grandparents. Focusing on as many fond memories of those I have lost helps me work through the pain. Permit yourself the right to grieve... and do it. I also hold on to the hope that perhaps one day, I will be granted the pleasure and joy of seeing them again.

As for your parents, they may come to some realizations, especially as they age. I know my father, an MS, is experiencing some 'truths' of his own. Dedicating your life to God the way the JWs do means neglecting most other areas of life, including non-JW family. One day, they will wake up and they will be old and no longer able to perform to the JWs (as well as their own) standards. My father misses his son and his grandchildren. He also beats himself up mentally/emotionally for not doing more regarding FS.

Give yourself time to work through your feelings. When you are ready, take your sadness and anger and place them where they don't interfere with your own principles. Use them constructively. If you feel you can effectively communicate your feelings without anger or malice towards your parents, then do so. They may also need some time to work things through. You may wish to express your concern for their well-being. Everyone grieves differently. Maybe see how they're feeling about her passing.

I have had to do these things with my father. (Sorry for the lengthiness but wanted to let you know that you're not alone.) Heaven