Hi Tec,
First let me say..I'm sorry for what you and your son are going through. The preteen teenage years are so hard, I'm going through it myself.
Yet me share what's helped with my son, he was very depressed and felt guilty after his younger sister was molested by a fellow JW..but of course we didn't even notice because we were in he most traumatic time of our lives, so he went through it alone pretending he was fine. It wasn't until I read his text messages that I found out how. not fine, he was :( He was so bad that he actually started cutting himself. Of course we talked and cried together and I assured him he couldn't have prevented what happened to his sister, but I could still see he was not happy. I had him talk to a therapist with didn't do much. So I decided against his will, because he had no motivation to do anything, signed him up for soccer. Let me tell you he has been the child I remembered ever since:) He has practice two times a week and a weekend game. It keeps him active and involved with other kids who have to depend on each other out on the field. Evey kid is different but in my opinion we know our kids, sometimes we need to push them to do something they don't want to do, because we know they need it...
I hope you find your sons "soccer"
(((hugs)))