well tomorrow is a big day for me.
i'm finally going to be interviewed by the police about what happened to me as a kid.. im running the whole gamut of emotions at the moment.
sad, anxious, angry, guilt, fear and many more that cannot be quantified.. i feel physically sick, cannot sleep, have lost my appetite and i am desperately trying not to self harm.. i've got my sister to thank for getting this far.
We have been through it and can tell you the build up in your head is much worse then the actual interview. Just try and remember the police are professionals and they will treat you in a very caring way. It's nothing like dealing the elders.
I think it's very brave of you to speak up and I hope you get the outcome your looking for.
growing up my parents would barricade our home off by parking vehicles bumper to bumper - you would have to crawl under the cars or over the bumpers to get to our door.
also, we would turn off all the lights and hide in the back room away from the street.. that was the norm for me.
isnt that insane?
We would turn out all lights and hide out in a back room like we were afraid or something...I laugh now!
This was the first year we put up lights and pumpkins and handed out candy. My husband and 18 year old daughter actually dressed up and everything! It was so fun seeing all the excited kids dressed up and so happy.
We are on that road to normalcy right along with you my friend.
new to the board, first time posting a topic.
i just wanted to say how refreshing and sometimes funny it has been lurking here.
so much so that i decided to sign up to this message board.
It really is exciting and fun isn't it?
We carved pumpkins and will be handing out candy for the first time this year!! By the way we went through 6 pumpkins carving them way too early. Now we know to wait to carve until few days before Holloween..ha ha.
i have (well had) an extremely small circle of jw friends.
lots of acquaintances and associates but 2 or 3 i would consider my true friends.
that list is now 0. yup, once i told them i no longer believe in the org and haven't for a long time, and their attempts to encourage me thru jw lingo and terminologies to "rely on jehovah" and not to "stray away" failed that was pretty much it.
Even though it's expected, it still hurts.
I think sometimes we think somehow it might be different with OUR friends or OUR family.
Sadly as Leah Remini said last night about breaking from Scientology that they( friends and family) most always choose the church over their relationships with those who leave.
i know we are all anonymous for our own personal reasons, so i understand if you would rather not say.
but if you don't mind sharing that would be cool.
i currently live in georgia, usa.
grew up in east la in a bad neighborhood to a black mother and white father.
i never knew my father because he died in a car accident when i was a few weeks old.
my mother converted as a jw soon after when two sisters came to her door and offered her comfort, which was something she needed.
I was so hoping your experience would have ended with you leaving and following your dreams.
It's never too late to start a new normal outside this religion. Have enough love for yourself to live for you.
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your very personal story. I wish I could just give you a hug!
so this is just so nauseating to me when she noddes her head in agreement and in a low voice or sound does a "mmm uh" in agrrement.
but here is the deal, she never aswers at the meetings.
she doesn't go out in service often.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjpujjniw4
so it's been a few months since i last went to a meeting but i've still had lots of guilty feelings about leaving, such as am i doing the right thing, thinking about friends and family, where do i go from here etc etc.
but i think once you stop believing you can't go back.. anyway, today i had a very nice experience.
my daughter had been to nursery today and when she got home i asked her what she had done and she excitedly told me they had been doing pumpkins.
That's not a small deal at all :) Imagian the grief you are saving your little one, they will be able to grow up normal and do all the things everyone else is doing. My kids went through school feeling different and have struggled trying to fit in now that we left.
This was the first year they carved a pumpkin and they are 18 & 20. It's never too late!
that was a quote from a dyed in the wool jw recently.
it was a complaint.. we all know that with 'new light(tm)' that the watchtower corporation's version of 'religion' has kept changing for a long time.
since i remember.....and i go back a long way too.
