Posts by imconfused

6

GUILT

by Gram in

jw
friends

this is such a heavy topic, very encompassing with many of us...i know that i still and perhaps always will, suffer from guilt -- on so many levels.. i just read this quote "guilt has been used as a tool of social control" -- i have also heard that guilt is 'anger with one's self" -- i would love to hear your expressions/etc.

about this subject.

can we ever rid ourselves of guilt?

imconfused

Hi Gram,

I still have guilt at times. Me & hubby stopped going a awhile back, just sort of fell away due to work etc, then about 3 years ago I remebered somethings that had happended to me when I was younger by 2 bro's in the hall. I kept it to myself, until about 7 months back my hubby started saying about how we should maybe make an effort to go back & I burst into tears & said I cant go sit with hypocrites and told him why - Id told my counselor a few months beforehand - i told him it wasnt up for anymore discussion (didnt tell him who it was etc) - even tho it waws a different hall as we had moved I still couldnt go, I woild just be sat looking around trying to work out who was an abuser/been abused etc

Hes not said anything again, until last week we were talking about his mam being a "zealous" jw, sent him a message saying she missed having him at the convention with her (even tho we live at opposite end of country & wouldnt be with her anway).

He jokingly said to me if she goes on again, hes gonna ask her why they dont mention about £ paid out to abuse victims, & why they protect the abusers - I couldnt believe it, didnt know that he thought like that!

Anyway I now feel guilty that he think that beacuse of me and what if its all right its now going to be my fault at armageddon that he listened to me - i feel very messed up at times

At times, I feel guilty for reading & posting on here - sorry & no offence meant at all - as my name says I am one very confused person

24

Anybody remember a QFR on JW nurses tattling on blood transfusions?

by Open mind in

i've looked on jwn (first) and watchtower library (second) and can't find a questions from readers that i thought i remembered from the 70s or 80s.

maybe it wasn't actually a qfr.

anyway, the gist of the question was, what does a conscientious jw nurse do when, in the course of her duties, she becomes aware of a fellow jw who is accepting a blood transfusion or getting an abortion.

imconfused

There was a woman from my old hall who was a secretary in the hosp & she would come to the meeting & tell people "so & so was in hospital the other day getting this done" - she told people my dad had had a vasectomy! WTF! going up to people in the hall & saying "**** had his vasectomy, hes sore but getting there" - cheeky cow

I said that if she ever did that to me if I was ever in I would get her sacked! where do these people get off, thinking they can do this kind of thing.

6

COULD ANYONE SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION.??

by Mr. Majestic in

being in the organisation for most of my life i have seen so many people suffering with depression.

but a friend of mine recently said that it was impossible for them to suffer from the condition, because of the mental strategies they have in place to cope with hard times, and a mental resilience that they attained from a balanced stable upbringing..... .

could it be true that some people have a natural immunity to such a debilitating mental condition....???.

imconfused

Im sorry, but thats rubbish - anyone can suffer from depression no matter what. Things like this are why lots of JWs refuse to take medcine, see counsellors etc. Who is then to blame if they attemp suicide etc? My mam was told she had depression a bit back & prescribed meds, but due to "advice" she was given she didnt take them and she got really bad to the point wher my dad threatended to move out, my younger bros & sisters kept phoniong me in tears cos mam had disspareaded (she used to go drive for hours & hours late at night really dangerously and not with it) if anything had happened to her I would have held the people who told her not to take them due to what it said in the magazines responsible.

I too suffer from depression, take the meds & see a counsellor - I talked this thru a bit with my mam (not mcuh as im vert private person) & now she takes her meds & is much better now.

My counsellor thinks a lot of my probs I have are to do with being bought up in the cong - mainly the abuse I experinced from 2 people, but other things too.

So anyway, after my rant - sorry! - no they arent immune to it, as Wavvy says - Its denial

2

Effects, side effects, and withdrawals from Effexor.

by El Kabong in

several years ago, my doctor prescribed effexor to help combat mild depression.

they started me on a small dose and gradually increased it to 150mg per day.. i'm not sure i can honestly say that the drug helped me in any way shape or form.

what i do know is if i ever was late with a dose, my body had no problems telling me it was time to take the drug.

imconfused

Hi,

I know this was posted a bit back, but just saw it. ive just stopped taking this (my brand was called venlafaxine but had effexor on the box too) & swapped to a new med.

I had the brain zaps, no sex drive, crying all the time, zombie, crawling skin, head aches, panic attacks, not able to breath properly, suicidal thoughts (altho these were already there they cam back a bit worrse) & lots more.

Also if I missed a dose I was in bed for the day as was unable to stand due to everything spinning (even laying down things spun), throwing up etc

I'm on my fourth different anti derpessant now & hoping this one will be the one (tried prozac, citalopram, effexor) on top of that I get counselling to.

But yes that effexor to me was evil & when you read up on the side effects they are very very scary. I was on the 150mg to, went down to 75mg, then 37.5 and staight onto my new one - when i had to go to the 75mg I did it slowly tho as the 1st day it made me ill, so I just tooe the small beads out bit by bit until it got to the 75mg.

How are you doing now?

9

KH weddings

by rockmehardplace in

jw
friends

i did not want to hijack the other thread on kh funerals.

when i got married, my wife and i were married at the kh.

i wanted a particular family member as my best man but because he was not a baptized brother, they would not allow it.

imconfused

We thankfully got married in a hotel. At the time we were going to get married in the KH - even tho we didnt want to, as it was a ugly, bland, windlowless place, would have to have a stupid talk (which were usually counsel sounding), rubbish music/song & people would show up who we didnt want there. In our hall we were the 1st to ever do this, but since then a few others have to mainly for the reason mentioned, that they want a family member who isnt a JW to be in the weddig party.

As it turned out there was some wierd law (uk) at the time (dont know if is still the same now) that if you got married in a religious place you had to live in the area for 7 days prior to it all & as we lived away from our home town were we were getting married we had the "perfect excuse"

Some people from the hall tho actually went up to my mam and asked her if the reason we werent getting married in the hall was because we'd slept together before being married and now werent allowed - cheeky bastards! and loads of them expected to be invited - haha free loaders, only a select few were invited & yes the freeloaders were offended as"theyd know mw since I was a little girl" - idiots

22

Theocratic parental horror stories

by vikesgirl101 in

so i am reading my new favorite book "i'm perfect, you're doomed" and the flashbacks have started.

this book is like my childhood all over again.

anywho, it reminded me of the horror stories my parents would create.

imconfused

Ha, I just remeberd about the Dinah one after reading this - so are they saying if you hang out with "worldlys" you deserve to be raped? hmm lovely.

When we used to get smacked - really smacked too, me & my bro (with belt, shoes, slippers etc) they'd say "I dont want to do this, but the bible/soceity tells us to"

My other bro & sis (younger) - never had this - He was nowhere as strict with them as he was us. I have mentioned this to him & he sort of apologised as that was the done thing then & accepted

Dont hold it against him or anything, but its hard to accept that that was "ok" at the time

44

Committee Meeting Wants Details, oh BS

by Leprechaun in

i remember when i like a real stupid ass went to a committee meeting for enjoying committing so called immorality, when in my view i was making love and i enjoyed every dam minute of it.

well any way those stupid elders whom i knew personally for many years wanted to know every juicy (no pun intended) tid bit of what went on between me and this good friend of mine, a long time sister in good standing, i told them what the hell, you guys dont know what sex is!

you stupid asss!

imconfused

bluecanary, me & my husband did the same thing - admitted to sex before marriage as we thought its what we needed to do. Thankfully they didnt ask any details. They said as your married now what happened it between you two, knowing yuo had sex is all they needed to know. I was still so emabrassed, I cried tons.

We got a private telling off and restrictions but that was it, then we started to fall away anyway.

44

Committee Meeting Wants Details, oh BS

by Leprechaun in

i remember when i like a real stupid ass went to a committee meeting for enjoying committing so called immorality, when in my view i was making love and i enjoyed every dam minute of it.

well any way those stupid elders whom i knew personally for many years wanted to know every juicy (no pun intended) tid bit of what went on between me and this good friend of mine, a long time sister in good standing, i told them what the hell, you guys dont know what sex is!

you stupid asss!

imconfused

My friend had a JC, and she was asked all the details - her dad was there too! I still cant believe they let him sit in with her - she was 18 sol old enough to be on own (10 years ago or so). She said it was so horrible, couldnt stop crying and they just went on & on, and her dad just sat there, didnt tell them wtf or anything. asking who was on top, what item of clothes came of first, where did you kiss, etc etc. Also her dad had made her take the morning after pill & when she told them that, they sort of brushed that one aside (he was an MS i think).

She was so scared that she did what they told her too & didnt stick up for herself, they told her if she was uncoperative it would be classed as her being unrepentant & she'd be df, so she told them everything.

I later read in the elder book thing, that they dont need to know the details, so the fact they do ask is probably to get off on later.

47

My Mother Says Matter of Factly "You're Gonna Die At Armageddon"

by minimus in

jw
friends

we were conversing and she said it like it was a fact that she simply has accepted.. i actually found it quite funny..

imconfused

My mam has used this line on me too, even tho she doesnt know for sure I dont go anymore. She even said a few weeks back not to have any children as they will die at armageddon to - charming eh?

25

Did the elders in your congregation give counsel to those that were DATING? Good or bad counsel?

by BonaFide in

jw
friends

i have heard some doozies.

some elders forbid the couple from sitting together at the meetings unless they are engaged.

i have heard that said from the platform.

imconfused

In my old cong, the rule was you had to be 20 or above to date!

Think i was one of the 1st to ignore that one openly, I was 18 & he was 23 (that was the "unofficial year") and 19 when it was official for everyone to see, we moved to the other end of country about 4 weeks later. married when I as 20 & still happily together.

His mam & sis hate me tho as I wasnt scriptural enough! this coming from people who actully came in my face pointing & telling me to keep away from him, his mother pushed me out the way once at the hall when I was talking to him, they were regular pioneers - if they think thats scriptural to go on like that... well ... stuff them. Ho w annoyed tbey were when we moved away & got married & now cant understand why we harldy visit/speak to them

Gotta love the hypocrisy!