Hmm okay, as far as self-help, are you guys familiar with Daniel Goleman, the Emotional Intelligence guy? I remember reading it a long time ago and one of my psych professors said it was well researched.. I guess he has co-authored something with his wife since, "Emotional Alchemy" ? They did a benefit at the local meditation center here..
Introspection
JoinedPosts by Introspection
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Preventive care in mental health?
by Introspection indoes this concept apply, and if so do you see professionals playing a role in such preventive care?
given the fact that preventive medicine is now being stressed for physical health, it seems to me it's a question worth considering for the mental health field.
if you think mental health professionals can play a part in preventive care, what form do you think it will take?
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High Control Groups
by Introspection inthought you guys might be interested in this article:.
high control groups psychological toll.
kaynor weishaupt, mft.
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Introspection
Thought you guys might be interested in this article:
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HIGH CONTROL GROUPS PSYCHOLOGICAL TOLL
Kaynor Weishaupt, MFTCertain types of groups, which I refer to as "High Control" groups make particular demands on individuals that can decrease autonomy and cause psychological problems for members. The type of group referred to here as High Control is defined by the degree of control and restriction the group exercises over its members' everyday lives. Such a group can be focused on religion, politics, militarism, psychotherapy, meditation, commercialism, or simply a "special" leader. A High Control group differs from other groups in that individual behavior is excessively limited by rules and regulations, access to information is restricted or managed (especially information critical of the group), pressure is high to conform in thought and behavior to group norms, and members must put the group's interests before their own. The leadership in this type of group is absolute and considered infallible; outsiders are generally viewed as dangerous or evil, and members leaving the group are generally punished or shunned.
The degree of control that groups exert on their membership varies greatly. In many groups, both religious and otherwise, guidelines for living and doctrinal wisdom are provided, but individuals retain a great deal of control over their lives on many levels. In a High Control group, the individual relinquishes her control to the group's zeitgeist. Individuals are seen as incapable of directing their own lives and are in constant need of direction and structure from those who are more capable and wise or who are more in touch with "God's will."
I define a High Control group as a group in which:
1. Members experience negative consequences for nonconformist behavior or
attitudes (such as questioning doctrine or disagreeing with the party line).
2. Information is controlled, especially if critical of the group.
3. Leadership is absolute and not bound by checks and balances.
4. Individual behavior is excessively limited by rules and regulations (legalism).
5. Outsiders are generally viewed as dangerous or evil, or associations with
outsiders are primarily in order to convert them.
6. Members are required to give up their own interests or make sacrifices in favor
of group activities.
7. Members leaving the group are punished or shunned.Psychological literature refers to an individual's source of motivation as their "locus of control." Locus of control is viewed as either internal, that is, stemming from inside the self, or as external, where control is attributed to sources outside the self such as another person, group, or adopted philosophy. Studies have shown that people with an internal locus of control tend to fare better psychologically then those whose locus of control is external. Having an internal locus of control has been found to correlate significantly with feelings of happiness and self-esteem. People with an external locus of control tend to have difficulty accepting responsibility for their lives and tend to blame forces outside themselves for difficulties when they arise. Those involved in High Control groups have their reality defined by the group's ideals, that is, their locus of control is external.
In a High Control group the group dictates what is acceptable behavior, what and who is good and bad, and so on. Ambivalence, uncertainty, moral struggles, and conflicting feelings are tidily resolved by the group's dictates. For the practiced group member, such feelings are repressed before even being raised to consciousness.
In High Control groups doubt and ambivalence are seen as "moral weakness." Should doubt arise, members are exhorted to "work harder" and "have more faith." In many cases, the group defines how one should even feel. Certain feelings and thoughts are defined as "bad," while others are seen as "good." The world is perceived in black and white. The individual in a High Control group does not have to struggle to develop her own beliefs and perceptions because they are defined, interpreted, and predicated by the group. Right and wrong are known, not discovered.
In a High Control group, truth is presented as indisputable, solid, and reassuring fact. Questioning or deciding for oneself about right or wrong is viewed as a potentially fatal sin or as being under the influence of the devil. The danger of this "certainty of experience" occurs when a member cannot successfully dismiss doubt and ambivalence, or cannot repress unseemly emotional experiences such as envy, lust, and so forth. Cognitive dissonance is then experienced. Cognitive dissonance can be defined as a sense of unease or disharmony which occurs when feelings or reality fail to match one's beliefs or opinions. Cognitive dissonance theory predicts that once one has invested time and energy into a course of action, inconsistencies will be ignored because the advantages of continuing on course will tend to outweigh the uncertainty of changing. It has been found that once a decision is made in a given direction, confidence that the decision is correct tends to increase, regardless of evidence to the contrary
A person with an internal "locus of control" defines and interprets her experience by a set of internal judgments, comparison of prior to current experiences, and a singular set of moral values that has been refined and constructed through trial and error. The internally defined person will periodically experience cognitive dissonance and ambivalence because feelings and judgments are constantly being refined and adapted through experience. When conflict is successfully resolved for the internally defined person, personal growth and a higher level of functioning is achieved. When conflict and cognitive dissonance are not adequately resolved, the internally defined person may experience substantial psychological symptoms. He or she may then be tempted to turn to an external structuring system such as a High Control group to help quell uncertainty and provide a sense of direction.
For the person with an external locus of control, cognitive dissonance presents a difficult conundrum. In a High Control group, one is told what is right to feel and believe. Yet when feelings and beliefs cannot be reconciled with the party line, the only "safe" solution is to disavow or ignore the inconsistencies.
In a High Control environment, the only solution for conflict and cognitive dissonance is to repress the feelings and beliefs that do not "fit," or to abandon the external definition of self (as defined by the group's ideals) and develop an internally-based belief system. Repression as a solution does not actually eradicate the problem of conflicting feelings and thoughts, however. In the short run, repression creates a sense of superficial comfort, enabling the individual to return to status quo to maintain membership and relationships within the group and to avoid the messy and frightening process of reexamining one's values. Repressed issues do not disappear; however; they are simply buried, like toxic waste. Buried issues invariably reappear, usually at inconvenient times (for the High Control group member, any time is inconvenient). The longer these issues remain repressed, the more toxic and potentially disruptive their reemergence. Repression usually leads to some form of anxiety, depression, or other form of emotional/mental dysfunction. At the very least, repressing conflict consumes a great deal of psychological energy, which has the tendency to become generalized, that is, one's life is not partially influenced by repression; instead, all areas of emotional and intellectual experience are affected. The person who pushes away all feelings of dissatisfaction or pain will have a difficult time experiencing true joy and satisfaction. The person who consistently avoids intellectual questioning will gradually lose her ability to think critically.
As repressed issues fester like a wound that has closed but never healed, dangerous psychological and behavioral symptoms can appear. These symptoms can include substance abuse, eating disorders, sexual acting out, obsessions, phobias, personality disorders, depression, and suicide. Likewise, the High Control group member who represses doubts or unacceptable feelings may develop symptoms such as phobias, depression, anxiety, or compulsions. These symptoms serve to express cognitive dissonance and conflictual feelings while enabling the member to avoid consciously confronting dangerous doubts or feelings.
If cognitive dissonance cannot be reconciled with the group's ideals, the member is placed in a position of developing psychological problems, or struggling with the possibility of abandoning an external definition of self and developing an internally-based belief system. It is then that you see people exiting these types of groups, often emerging with significant relational, emotional and ideological issues.Kaynor Weishaupt practices in San Rafael and Petaluma, and specializes in working with infertility issues, ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, and MFT orals coaching. She can be reached for further information and references on the above article at (415) 721-2790. For more information please see camftmembers.com/northbaytherapy or [email protected].
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Preventive care in mental health?
by Introspection indoes this concept apply, and if so do you see professionals playing a role in such preventive care?
given the fact that preventive medicine is now being stressed for physical health, it seems to me it's a question worth considering for the mental health field.
if you think mental health professionals can play a part in preventive care, what form do you think it will take?
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Introspection
What do you think? Does this concept apply, and if so do you see professionals playing a role in such preventive care? Given the fact that preventive medicine is now being stressed for physical health, it seems to me it's a question worth considering for the mental health field. If you think mental health professionals can play a part in preventive care, what form do you think it will take? I guess one thing that immediately comes to mind is education. So how might professionals educate their clients? I don't want to limit the discussion to education alone either, but that does seem to be key.
I invite everyone who has an interest to comment, as well as those who have sought therapy and of course mental health professionals. It seems to me a dialogue between clients and therapists on this subject would be very useful.
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Fear and Ego (ET quotes)
by Introspection ini'm enjoying the book the power of now by eckhart tolle, and i expect there will be a number of quotes that i find worth posting.
i will use this thread for any future posts from this author.. by the way, the author does point out that he uses the word ego in a specific way here, so no doubt it isn't exactly what psychologists would consider ego.... fear seems to have many causes.
fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and so on, but ultimately all fear is the egos fear of death, of annihilation.
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Introspection
I'm enjoying the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and I expect there will be a number of quotes that I find worth posting. I will use this thread for any future posts from this author.
By the way, the author does point out that he uses the word ego in a specific way here, so no doubt it isn't exactly what psychologists would consider ego...
Fear seems to have many causes. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and so on, but ultimately all fear is the ego’s fear of death, of annihilation. To the ego, death is always just around the corner. In this mind-identified state, fear of death affects every aspect of your life. For example, even such a seemingly trivial and "normal" thing as the compulsive need to be right in an argument and make the other person wrong—defending the mental position with which you have identified—is due to the fear of death. If you identify with a mental position, then if you are wrong, your mind-based sense of self is seriously threatened with annihilation. So you as the ego cannot afford to be wrong. To be wrong is to die. Wars have been fought over this, and countless relationships have broken down.
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Tact in dealing with those who are leaving
by Introspection inwhat is the best way to deal with those who are leaving the wts?
no doubt everyone is different - some may feel empowered in a way by finding the truth about the truth, others may have that "shattered faith syndrome.
" tonight i talked to someone who was also dealing with a drug problem along with depression, and i just didn't feel it was the right time to start questioning all the wts doctrine.
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Introspection
Hi Tina, I understand how I may have sounded and it's quite alright, I wasn't exactly clear in my previous messages. I did want to address one other point, and that is the lack of quality exchanges on the internet. (and of course, it is by no means limited to JW chat rooms wherever it may be found) This is another topic in itself, but it's been my observation that many are seeking a sort of cartharsis, and what ends up being communicated is not so much the thoughts but the intensity of the individuals' emotions. If you guys are interested I'd be up to discussing interpersonal communication/relationships online.
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Tact in dealing with those who are leaving
by Introspection inwhat is the best way to deal with those who are leaving the wts?
no doubt everyone is different - some may feel empowered in a way by finding the truth about the truth, others may have that "shattered faith syndrome.
" tonight i talked to someone who was also dealing with a drug problem along with depression, and i just didn't feel it was the right time to start questioning all the wts doctrine.
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Introspection
Tina and Larc,
Let me explain that I had a one on one conversation with this person through instant messaging. Tina, while I understand your concern that I may expect forums like this to be support groups based on my previous messages, let me say that I do see this is unrealistic at best and, even as someone who have spent a great deal of time socializing online, I see there are very real limitations as well. In fact, my question was only intended to address one on one conversations, I merely mentioned chat rooms because that is where I "met" her, and if you've ever looked at public chat rooms on the web, I'm sure you can see the "signal to noise ratio" is not very good. I do feel that we have a very good community here on j-w.com, from what I've seen the quality of conversation in the chat room is much higher. However, I agree that it is still not a substitute for a real support group. I guess you can say I got rather emotional over the suffering of ex-JW's when I posted those two messages. (which was within a 5 minute interval)
I have participated in support groups, but only once or twice. I look forward to attending an ex-JW group locally this weekend and participate, hopefully "do some good" by my presence if nothing else. I'm sure it will be a learning experience too.
Larc, restricting the visit to mental health topics is a good idea, but how can that be done? I suppose I can suggest it, though..
I really do appreciate the thoughts expressed here by both of you, certainly there are no easy, generic answers. Everyone is different, and I do think we need to focus on the individual.
P.S. Tina, the "shattered faith syndrome" was brought to my attention by someone who put me in touch with a local ex-JW therapist, who in turn invited me to the support group. I guess there is a book on it but I haven't looked at it. Of course, that's why I put it in quotation marks.
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Introspection
Can you explain this..? I mean it looks like it could be an ad for the Hairclub for Men or something..
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God and Being
by Introspection ina quote from the book the power of now by eckhart tolle:.
when you say being, are you talking about god?
the word god has become empty of meaning through thousands of years of misuse.
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Introspection
A quote from the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle:
When you say Being, are you talking about God? If you are, then why don't you say it?
The word God has become empty of meaning through thousands of years of misuse. I use it sometimes, but I do so sparingly. By misuse, I mean that people who have never even glimpsed the realm of the sacred, the infinite vastness behind that word, use it with great conviction, as if they knew what they are talking about. Or they argue against it, as if they knew what it is that they are denying. This misuse gives rise to absurd beliefs, assertions, and egoic delusions, such as "My or our God is the only true God, and your God is false," or Nietzsche's famous statement "God is dead."
The word God has become a closed concept. The moment the word is uttered, a mental image is created, no longer, perhaps, of an old man with a white beard, but still a mental representation of someone or something outside you, and, yes, almost inevitably a male someone or something.
Neither God nor Being nor any other word can define or explain the ineffable reality behind the word, so the only important question is whether the word is a help or a hinderance in enabling you to experience That toward which it points. Does it point beyond itself to that transcendental reality, or does it lend itself too easily to becoming no more than an idea in your head that you believe in, a mental idol?
The word Being explains nothing, but nor does God. Being, however, has the advantage that it is an open concept. It does not reduce the infinite invisible to a finite entity. It is impossible to form a mental image of it. Nobody can claim exclusive possession of Being. It is your very essence, and it is immediately accessible to you as the feeling of your own presence, the realization I am that is prior to I am this or I am that. So it is only a small step from the word Being to the experience of Being.
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Tact in dealing with those who are leaving
by Introspection inwhat is the best way to deal with those who are leaving the wts?
no doubt everyone is different - some may feel empowered in a way by finding the truth about the truth, others may have that "shattered faith syndrome.
" tonight i talked to someone who was also dealing with a drug problem along with depression, and i just didn't feel it was the right time to start questioning all the wts doctrine.
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Introspection
Tina, there is nothing wrong with debate of course, (if there is REALLY a dialogue) but it doesn't help those who are in need of support. A person can speak out against the WTS with someone who's vulnerable, but it seems to me they could be taking advantage of that vulnerability. To be honest, I just don't think the sensitivity is there most of the time. My concern is just that there is a time and place for everything, and when people are hurt I don't think that's a time for pushing that information.
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Tact in dealing with those who are leaving
by Introspection inwhat is the best way to deal with those who are leaving the wts?
no doubt everyone is different - some may feel empowered in a way by finding the truth about the truth, others may have that "shattered faith syndrome.
" tonight i talked to someone who was also dealing with a drug problem along with depression, and i just didn't feel it was the right time to start questioning all the wts doctrine.
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Introspection
What is the best way to deal with those who are leaving the WTS? No doubt everyone is different - some may feel empowered in a way by finding the truth about the truth, others may have that "shattered faith syndrome." Tonight I talked to someone who was also dealing with a drug problem along with depression, and I just didn't feel it was the right time to start questioning all the WTS doctrine. I encouraged her to look into detox and Narcotics Anonymous, and she just seemed appreciative of having support, whereas the chat rooms tend to be filled with debate and name calling. What are your thoughts on this?