Posts by looking4peace

28

How can you test whether you have broken free of the mind control

by cantleave in

jw
friends

it's been less than a year but i think i am nearly there.. i can read through a mag or sit through a meeting and instantly see through the bs.. i can watch the news without thinking is this a part of the composite sign.. i see people for what they are without trying to pigoen hole them.. i'm not worried what the elders think.. however,.

i still show too much interest if i see something about a jw in the media.. i notice kingdom hall if driving through a new place.. i still want to stop and say hello if i see a group of witnesses on the street.. how do you guys and gals measure the progress of your exit from the cult?.

.

looking4peace

Nice post, Lady Lee. Thank you for your comments!

116

To Ex-JWs: Do You Regret Learning it Was a Lie?

by leavingwt in

jw
friends

this question was inspired by a question on another thread.

to the ex-jw community here,.

do any of you regret learning that wt is not god's organization?

looking4peace

Ignorance is bliss in some senses. It did feel good to "know" that someone with all the power was interested in me personally and to feel like personal prayers were being answered by him. Letting go of that idea and realizing that it was only my perception that made it seem like prayers were being answered has left me feeling a little vulnerable for a time, but I am getting over it. When I was afraid or wanted a loved one to be protected and safe, it was natural to pray for that, but I realized I had no assurance it would be answered since so many innocent people become victims anyway, so it was a little empty feeling at best. To believe that I had been drawn by Jehovah to learn "the truth" made me feel special and valued, since I had some very negative relationships in my childhood that had left me feeling worthless. I needed that to survive emotionally for a time in my life, so it served a good purpose for that time. At the same time, I felt guilty shunning people who didn't see things the way "the borg" did and I felt guilty for not shunning them or following the rules too, so it was a lose/lose situation that was only one of the reasons I felt empty while actively pursuing my life as a witness. It feels so wonderful to be open to meeting and getting to know all kinds of interesting people now, choosing association based on personal qualities I admire and respect, not on man-made boundaries defining people as good or bad according to their membership in the WTBS. I cannot even imagine going back now...even though being inside the little box with my eyes blinded was easier and even helped me for a time to get to a place where it was safe to look beyond the box's walls. I feel cleaner pursuing goodness for the right reasons...not for some offered reward, and basing what is good on standards that resound with me.

39

Long time lurker, first time poster

by Miss Chievous in

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looking4peace

Miss C, Welcome, and thanks for introducing yourself and sharing your story. I, too, saw so many who had stopped meeting attendance for a variety of reasons and could not envision a loving father destroying them on that basis alone. The grief families go through believing that is so painful and sad, especially since it is inconceivable that they are on the side of righteousness with that narrow view. I couldn't swallow it any more than you could and was tired of the judgment and guilt that belief fosters that is so divisive. I look forward to hearing more from you.

L4P

67

Did You Exit the Witnesses Due to Injustices / Difference with Doctrine-Both?

by flipper in

jw
friends

many of us leave due to injustices committed inside the organization.

i did initially.

i had doubts about some doctrines for years - but not until after leaving the witnesses was i free to be able to confirm my suspicions and see that yes, i did have valid reasons to have doubts all those years .

looking4peace

There were injustices over the years, but I always saw those as man's mistakes that I could wait on Jehovah to fix. It was really stepping outside of the box I was in and looking at religion from a world view that caused me to begin second guessing my narrow views of "the truth," the Bible, and Christianity. From there, I started examining all of the flip-flopping on doctrines, particularly the blood issue changes over time and the shunning of young ones who had made "mistakes" in their lives and received a life sentence that began to eat away at my trust in the "faithful and discreet slave." Their actions did not seem consistent with a god of love or a parent figure that I could relate to in any way, shape or form. Now, I feel more of an agnostic than anything. It's a strange place to be spiritually after 30 years of being a witness---all of those years but the last one being so sure that I had everything all figured out.

39

Why Do JWs Say Jehovah Protects His People & Then Claim "Time & Unforseen Occurences"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

you'll hear experiences of how jehovah god protected his people in modern times, how only jehovah's witnesses didn't die in a calamity, how an angel evidently protected a person, etc.

they'll show how jehovah takes care of his people by all sorts of almost "miraculous" events----but if a witness did die or something deadly happened to a carload of jws, well, then, it's just "time and unforseen occurence" and we can't expect jehovah to perform miracles in our day, anyway!.

what gives?

looking4peace

SallySue and Littlebird, that is the doctrinal explanation, but on a case by case basis, individuals still credit Jehovah with saving ones who get away safe from scary situations. It is hurtful to the ones who suffered, as if Jehovah wasn't there for them.

39

Why Do JWs Say Jehovah Protects His People & Then Claim "Time & Unforseen Occurences"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

you'll hear experiences of how jehovah god protected his people in modern times, how only jehovah's witnesses didn't die in a calamity, how an angel evidently protected a person, etc.

they'll show how jehovah takes care of his people by all sorts of almost "miraculous" events----but if a witness did die or something deadly happened to a carload of jws, well, then, it's just "time and unforseen occurence" and we can't expect jehovah to perform miracles in our day, anyway!.

what gives?

looking4peace

This issue really bothers me. They would say, "We can only expect Jehovah to answer prayers that are in line with his will, prayers for things that impact us spiritually, so we will be safe spiritually." Well, pardon me, but having a loved one die in a tragic accident would definitely impact one spiritually, throwing them into a depression, not wanting to go in field service, meetings, etc. But then, that would be because they didn't trust in the hope of the new order, right? You can't win with this sort of reasoning. But it does make one wonder, what prayer, really, can you count on being answered....I have trouble with this sort of God who is lauded as the one who steps in and saves some and leaves others high and dry with no explanation. (I know that if there is a god, it's in man's explanations that the error resides, but he certainly hasn't given us any concrete answers either.)

30

Please Join in Celebration! My DFed brother is coming to dinner!!!

by Open mind in

we're killing the fattened young bull and having osso bucco (spell?

) tonight.

i'm going to the airport right now to pick up my long-time dfed, over 20-years shunned, gay older brother!.

looking4peace

OM, I'm so glad for you all! You have such a wonderful family. Now you embrace an additional wonderful person into it-- as a family. I couldn't be happier for you and your brother!

Peace,

L4P

17

2010 Calendar of JWs

by sd-7 in

jw
friends

wife just asked me to put up 2010 jw calendar.

theme text for year is 'love endures all things.

love never fails,' i think.

looking4peace

Well said, SD-7. It is sad that they don't use their powerful resources in more humanitarian ways. They always like to draw attention to the one roof they put on for a neighbor that wasn't a witness, etc. in a disaster, but doing such kind acts are rare, rather than the norm. I haven't seen the new calendar yet, but their demonstration of love shown, as you describe it, is not very personal as was that of Jesus'.

L4P

30

Please Join in Celebration! My DFed brother is coming to dinner!!!

by Open mind in

we're killing the fattened young bull and having osso bucco (spell?

) tonight.

i'm going to the airport right now to pick up my long-time dfed, over 20-years shunned, gay older brother!.

looking4peace

OM,

Osso bucco is amazing. What a wonderful way to celebrate such a happy reunion. May it be joyous and wonderful! Here's to you and yours!

L4P

31

I can't imagine doing THAT in my wildest dreams.....

by AK - Jeff in

putting on a three piece suit to spend a 90 degree summer day knocking on doors and trespassing!dragging an entire family, including babies and young children to three or four day meetings in an outdoor stadium, living in a seedy motel room for the week.getting home from work and spending the next six hours cramming for a 'theocratic review', getting the entire family ready to go, gulping down dinner, and speeding off to the hall, and then finally getting home around 11 pm, hurrying off to bed so that everyone could get up for work and school in the morning!going to school to explain to the teachers why little johnny can't color pictures of santa, salute the flag of his country, eat birthday cake with all the other 5 year olds, bow his head when prayer is offered, or exchange valentines with all the cute 5 year old girls in class.

and then explaining with grace why he is not immersed in a cult!well, on and on!

these things were typical of my witness life - now i cannot imagine ever doing such silly things, and especially thinking that somehow they would bring pleasure to my god!.

looking4peace

...scrambling to put a few highlights across some lines in a magazine, brochure, or book so those sitting nearby won't judge me for not having prepared for a meeting. I used to do it as needed. Now, I realize how ridiculous that was. Fear of man at its best.