Since I`ve been married I learned a lot about how woman function, and I´m still learning and it amazes me often.
Trying to help my wife to wake up is like a rollercoaster, and somehow I can grasp a bit why. Challenging your lifelong hold belief system was even for me as a man quite tough on the emotional level, and still is to some extent.
However, often after some discussions, where I try to help open her eyes, and even if she disagrees on the spot, later on she admits, thinking about it and its bugging her, that the org says this or does that.
and sometimes she even surprises me with "independant" thoughts, that even I did not think about. I commend her for that, and we openly discuss doctrine and other things.
However, I totally agree with the observation, that as an elder it seperates you from the flock and to some extend isolates you. I have no close friends in our hall (I know too much about people there and hate the knowledge), my friends are from other halls.
For my wife, she is a bit more connected, however, as she is my best friend, and I am hers, also this is not the real problem.
I think, for most situations like that, patience and love are the keys on the long run...