What is it with all the men waking up but the wives stay in? Why is it the opposite for me?

by Cadellin 80 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Cadellin

  This is something I've thought about for a while now. It seems like the same story on this board over and over--the husband, who also might be an elder, ms, etc.--starts having doubts and researching, aka miseryloveselders and Franklin Massey and others. He starts to smell the coffee and realizes that this organization isn't what it claims to be. And the wife stays resolutely unwilling to consider his "new light"! Why isn't it the other way around, or at least as often the wife waking up as the husband?

  Maybe I've just not paid attention to the wives on board here who have husbands who stay JW. I know there's at least a few, like me--but doesn't it seem like the men leave or wake up and the wife resists? Or is it just me?? Any thoughts?
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  Mad Sweeney

  The higher you get in the organization the more information you have access to, the more BS you have to endure, the more hypocrisy you have to deal with. At some point, any elder with a functioning mind is going to have to choose between his personal integrity and loyalty to the Borg. Also, elders are by the nature of their office, somewhat isolated from the real camraderie that is sometimes built between rank and file members, especially sisters.

  Religious rituals are all about building solidarity, conformity, loyalty. Sisters who haven't experienced the crap elders experience don't have that solidarity challenged as often as an elder does.
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  sinis

  I think in general men are not religiously inclined or need religion as a mental crutch and helper. Whereas religion is more poised for going after and alluring women. I think women need the mental crutch to get through life, or at the least are more gullible and emotional then men... which is something religion targets.
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  james_woods

  Well, the JWs always have had a majority of women members as opposed to men.

  Why that is true I cannot imagine - given the way the WTBTS treats women.
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  brotherdan

  I think Mad Sweeny is most correct. You tend to see things at the higher levels. You feel the judgements a lot more because men are given "privledges" and women are not. Women are kept in the background and constantly reminded to only SUPPORT their husbands.

  Sadly, though, this tends to end once the husband comes out of the organization. But I've seen SO many examples of the wives eventually coming to their senses too. And many times this is YEARS after their husbands have seen the truth.
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  thetrueone

  What is it with all the men waking up but the wives stay in?

  I think men in general think bit more analytical toward information being put in front of them, where woman tend to think

  inside an emotional frame work, particular so with a peaceful Paradise and all evil and pain removed from humanity and so on....etc.

  Men are better at discerning what other men are up to, behind whats being outwardly and forwardly presented.
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  punkofnice

  I was raised in the cult and am an ex-elder.

  Mrs Punk however will not discuss my 'apostacy' it's as if she is not able to defend her beliefs. I don't think she knows how.

  Mrs Punk is not a literate person and cannot use the CD Rom.She only studies the watchtower for Sunday or whatever is in the KM mid-week. She uses a different Bible translation as she can't understand the NWT.

  It was studying with the JW's that helped to rescue her from an abusive family situation. I think she feels she owes them.

  I don't think she'll ever wake up from cult induced delusional dreamland. She always says the GB are 'just imperfect men doing their best'...or....'it's the nearest thing to the truth.'

  It's so frustrating for me. We've been thru' UN membership, Randcam, Philip Morris, stay alive in '75 and a whole host of stuff but she just puts up her forcefield and won't let it in.

  I think literacy and family background are the factors for Mrs Punk.
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  JeffT

  My wife and I got out at the same time. Her doubts may have been around longer than mine.
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  sabastious

  Women are the lowest on the Watchtower totem pole. They get the brunt of the Watchtower's information control and lack of education. They are not even allowed to face the audience while on the podium.

  -Sab
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  LongHairGal

  MADSWEENEY:

  Your post is true and probably why a man is more apt to leave. I have to laugh a bit at what you said about how "elders.....are somewhat isolated from the real 'camraderie' that is sometimes built between rank and file members, especially sisters" I hate to tell you this but, as far as I was concerned as a single woman, I had NO camraderie with other women there, particularly married women. I had a few single friends and maybe one older sister as an acquaintance. I despised most of the married women and hated their mentality of thinking they were going to target single women to do favors. They were also the ones who instigated the brothers to give local needs talks about 'modesty in dress' because they had some issue about some sister (usually single) in the hall.

  I also found it particularly annoying how the brothers and the religion in general thought the 'sisters' should be inflicted on on another like some kind of a quilting bee. Does this make the old men in HQ feel all warm and fuzzy? I don't think the brothers are inflicted on each other the way the sisters are inflicted on each other. I had just about all I could stand just going out in service with a few women here and there. I had NO desire to get together with them for any other reason. This is the reason I dropped out of the 'theocratic ministry school'.