Posts by finallysomepride

6

Ask for their address

by OnTheWayOut in

stolen and adapted from jerry seinfeld talking to a telemarketer.

jw's at the door: "can we talk to you about god/bad conditions in the world/living forever/crime/petting lions?

answer: "listen, i do want to talk to you about this.

Over half the world population have never heard of Jehovah's Witnesses

by alanv in

just looked through some of the largest populations in the world and ten of them add up to 3,500,000,000. how many witnesses serve these 10 countries.

no more than 60,000. the largest are china and india which together have around 2.5 billion people.

so is the jw good news being spread earthwide.

I just did the unthinkable - I gave blood

by Magwitch in

jw
friends

omg - it feels great to give blood!.

finallysomepride

You rebel you - LOL

Good one, everyone who can should.

23

Let's get the emblem partaker up to 12,000 this year

by semelcred in

i am calling all who are willing and able to partake at this years memorial.

the figure is growing and if reports are to be believed the numbers are made up mostly of experienced and long serving bros and sis!

the numbers for last year have not been as high as in 1967. with the youngest gb for decades!.

finallysomepride

How about getting it upto 144000 by 2020 LOL

2

Mind & Thought Protection For Conventions & KH

by finallysomepride in

.

KM Meeting tonight guilt trip for late comers

by Mattieu in

jw
friends

mrs mattieu went running out the doors with kids in tow (yes, i helped them get ready) in state of panic because tonights km part is all about showing respect for being taught by jehovah by being early to the meetings and how latecomers should be put before a judicial committee.

ok, made that last bit up.. i used to hate these parts on being late to the meetings as most would judge the late comers without fully understanding their work/family/health issues.. i dont have her km with me, but it mentioned that being late is something that should not be a regular occurrence and that we should be early to sit down and be ready to be taught by jehovah.. not sure if this article is particular to the australian km or being used worldwide, though will try and scan it through tomorrow.. mattieu...... .

.

finallysomepride

Ah yes! I remember those dayz when for years I was consistantly late, used to wait at home & leave exactly when meeting was starting, lived 5 min away from hall (by car), hated having to sit at front tho, especially with kids. Didn't want to talk to them in the end anywayz. No one ever (elders. MS) approached about it.

5

And God created dog

by finallysomepride in

and god created dog.

the story of adam & eve's pets.

and the new animal was pleased to be with adam and eve and he wagged his tail .

finallysomepride

And God created dog

The Story of Adam & Eve's PetsAdam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day.
Now we do not see you anymore.
We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be
a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me.
Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will
accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.' And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot
think of a name for this new animal.'And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you,
his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comfortedAnd God was pleased.And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord,
Adam and Eve have become filled with pride.
They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration.
Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'And God said, 'I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will
see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will
know that they are not always worthy of adoration.' And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes,
they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased . . .And Dog was happy. . .

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other...

4

Propaganda the JWs could borrow from

by bluecanary in

just ran across this.

sharing for your enjoyment..

finallysomepride

I better stop...............................................................................................................................................................................................

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

.................................................................................................................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................

........................................................Laughing that is

41

Any Ideas on the Next "Big Thing" that Will Bring the Watchtower Down?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

i received this via a face book pm from the group christian witness fellowship:.

also near the end of the show, richard rawe says "something extra big" is about to happen that will take watchtower "down," something bigger even than their pedophile scandal and the u.n. connections scandal put together.

he says he can't spill the beans yet, but the something is definitely coming.

finallysomepride

If it happens it happens, we all should concentrate on getting our own loved ones & friends out.

villabollo, pretty much sums it up.

6

CATHOLIC GOLF Catholic or not you have to laugh at this one.

by finallysomepride in

he missed the ball entirely and said "shit, i missed.

"shit, i missed.

finallysomepride

The Meaning of LifeOn the first day, God created the dog and said:'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed..

On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give
you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone..

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.