Valar morghulis, all men must die. Can't avoid it forever. I don't think I'll understand it until I lose more people I was close to, but since leaving the cult, I've been emotionally distant from everyone in my family, even the non-JW side.
My thought is, since we know that death is on its way, the best thing to do is to create something that outlives us. It doesn't have to be kids. For me, I've been fortunate enough to have one of my own, but I don't know. I have tried to write down as many moments of my life as I possibly could. I'm hoping that whenever I die, they won't have to wonder about that story I kept telling them, they'll be able to read about it in my old journals. I've got nearly 15 years worth of stuff written down so far. Probably need to scan it and store it someplace offsite in the event of a fire.
It's not my place to try and beat back death. "There is no defeat in death. Victory comes in doing what good we can while we still live."--Alfred Pennyworth, 'Batman & Robin'. To remember all there is to remember, to record all there is to record, about the people closest to us, maybe we can preserve a piece of who they were that way. I don't know. It's not simple.
Maybe I'll understand in 20 more years or so. If I live that long myself, really. But I don't think I will be able to function if I give too much thought to death and what it will do to us all. The way I see it, best to fight today's battles and hope that the best of us will still be around to fight tomorrow's, whether the best of us is in the form of people or memories or wisdom.
--sd-7