It's been about 4 years since this entry was made. As much as much of this thread is laced with confusing, back-and-forth dialogue about what the heck was really going on with me back then, the record of the JC itself is always something worth recalling for me at this time of year.
I've read so much, evolved so much, and I wonder how differently I might have handled all this if I had it to do over. Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. I didn't know half of what I know now, so...it's amazing I was able to handle this even half as well as I did, without really being 100% sure about anything yet.
I invite anyone who's never read my records of my JC to go ahead and read them, if you can ignore the melodrama of my personal life and glean something useful. Maybe folks who are about to face a JC, if they read about what it's like, maybe reconsider and decide on an alternative approach if possible--or if they're going to go into a JC, particularly if they plan to fade, maybe they can see where I went wrong and not make the same mistakes.
Well, take care, folks.
--sd-7