i am looking for rebuttals on this statement.
i find it reprehensive when they preach this from the platform, they do not want jws (who are individuals) to have any individuality.
they want people to be their personal robots with no free will.
If you had looked up "independent spirit" in the JW dictionary while I was growing up you would have seen my picture. Being a woman, that was doubly damning. One elder told me one time that it was both a blessing and a curse. He said I would get through persecution because of it but that I would probably be a spinster the rest of my life because no "brother" wanted a wife that was independent.
Oh if they only knew.
Heh
they are doing that article about sister selma getting the crap beat out of her to win her husband over to being a jw.
any suggestions as to the comment i should make?
i was thinking about bringing up the old awake on domestic violence and ask if there has been new light and that women should stay with their abusers..
obviously this is a very personal matter.
i can't believe i'm posting it here but i need to make myself.
i'm probably going to regret this.. i have discussed before that i was physically abused and neglected as a jw child.
I have read recently that in brain scans of adults who were abused as children, the brains showed the same PTSD as those of combat veterans. Yes, post traumatic stress syndrome is common in adult survivors of childhood abuse. I too have this. You don't have to have every symptom to have PTSD. But if you are a survivor, you have a lot of similarities. I always know who is in the room with me. Never sit without my back to a wall if I can help it, and have had to work for years on being ok if people don't like me. I was told over and over for too many years to count, that I was stupid, that no one liked me, that no one could ever love me, that I was bad, etc. That psychological component to the abuse will haunt you for years. I've had therapy, but you can never have too much to help you because it will always be with you at some level or another.
When I meet others with similar histories I always say they are in the club. You can always tell.
But hey, not only did we survive, but we are the most excellent people that we are today because of our past experiences. I'm not saying that is ok, but we are not responsible for what someone else did or said, just for ourselves. So cheers to all of us survivors.
you know what i mean, that gay music that you may like that you know that's got to be in every gay man's music collection, lol.
i think i just outted myself on facebook posting this one i used to hear in the clubs years ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym6ptlnkvp4 .
Uh huh LOL well I'm not sure what would be in every gay woman's collection! Never got into the club scene. HOWEVER having said that, went to this concert years ago and never saw so many gay men shaking their hineys.
forgive me if i'm a bit slow with the title to this thread.
the true absurdity of the cult that robbed me of my intellect for so long is still beginning to dawn on me.. i'm doing more research into domestic violence as part of a response to the notorious "wife beating" article in the feb 2012 watchtower.. i was shocked to find a question from readers in the w75 5/1 p286-288 which basically said that a battered wife would not be scripturally free to divorce her husband.
my first reaction was that this stance must have changed since 1975, but then i dipped into my own memory from serving as an elder, and of course, adultery (including porneia) is given as the only scriptural grounds for divorce down to this day.. please can somebody correct me if i'm wrong, preferably with a reference?
Yea this is exactly what the elders told me, I could leave him but never remarry again. After I did leave him and divorce, my parents drove 1500 miles to chastise me (my dad and elder). My dad always maintained it was something I did that caused him to be abusive. But then, my dad was also an abuser so I guess I could hardly expect a reasoned answer from him.
i wonder how many posters here are not only in recovery from spiritual abuse (jws) , but other traumas,, such as sexual and physical abuse,,, or rape as a young person (ie, child or teen).. .
how many of us are recovering from double - or triple - trauma ... ?.
anyone want to share?.
Ohio, Tal and others,
Sorry, I don't get on here often, and I've been pretty sick the last couple of weeks, so I didn't intentionally ignore - actually the last couple of days I've been meaning to get back on here and see how this thread progressed.
As for the enemas, yes to a degree I can see this "colonic" thing, my mom was into naturpaths and didn't trust doctors either. But not that often, and it wouldn't explain being douched as a small girl. My mom knew what she was doing though in that regard, because she always told me the hymen could not be broken so that my husband would know I was a virgin. Later she would not let me wear tampons for the same reason. Never could figure that one out. I remember reading Sybil and thinking how similar things were.
PTSD for adults is, I think, a different animal from that experienced by abused children. At an age when you should be learning familial trust and bonding, and at a time when your bond with your parent is most important, at your most sensitive formative years, the people that should be loving and protecting you are the ones torturing, abusing, beating and otherwise harming you. That is a hurt that goes deep, and that you carry for a lifetime.
So many times I am so very thankful that I came out of this as well as I did. Friends and other family members battle serious addiction trying to forget this stuff. Me? I'm only obese, though I will say there are some serious medical conditions that have compounded that.
Ohio I remember talking to you as well and always enjoyed it. If you'd like to PM me I would be glad to share contact information.
Lady Lee, you have been very helpful over time in the advice and wisdom you offer.
((((huggs)))) to all survivors. Keep seeking out someone to talk to, and by sharing - you truly lighten that load you carry.
Love to all - Ada
and it's weird.. it's one of those things i was afraid to do post-dubbery because it was supposedly evil.
once i got over that, i kind of forgot to see it.. evil it's not.
lol .
Love that movie! Doing the time warp again!
i wonder how many posters here are not only in recovery from spiritual abuse (jws) , but other traumas,, such as sexual and physical abuse,,, or rape as a young person (ie, child or teen).. .
how many of us are recovering from double - or triple - trauma ... ?.
anyone want to share?.
My mom also liked to do weird stuff, except she liked to give me enemas and douches constantly as a small child. I was also beaten often, with a belt, a paddle, most of the time it was a willow switch - and we had to go get it too, if it wasn't a good one we got it worse. I was isolated from other children from the time I was an infant until I was school aged, just my brothers and sisters. The people at the hall didn't really associate with us that much. My mom was fanatical and loved telling me horrible stories about what Jehovah would do to me because I was so evil. We were yelled at, screamed, at, constantly belittled and told we were nothing because anything we could do well was not due to us but was only Jehovah working through us. I was the third child of 7, my oldest brother was 7 years older, he was a bully. My next older brother was 3 years older and he liked the psychological warfare better. He contstantly played head games, and constantly told me that no one liked me. I was taught I was lower than snail slime, that no one loved me, that I would grow up to be killed at armegeddon because I could not play the witness games right.
What you get from all of this is PTSD. And for those of us that just built walls to shut out the pain and humiliation, it does come back later in life to haunt you. To this day I'm socially awkward and don't really know how to have relationships. I have worked very hard to forgive my parents, didn't go into details with my dad, mostly he left it up to mom, but when he did wade in it was with fists.
Of course I grew up to marry an abusive man, and when I told my dad how badly he treated me (he was an elder by the way), his comment was - "what did you do to make him treat you that way?"
The good thing that came of this is, I survived it. I have spent a lot of time healing. And I chose not to raise my son in this manner. He's a good kid and I'm proud of him.
(((Ohio))) I feel your pain, brother!
