GLTirebiter

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Posts by GLTirebiter

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  74

  Tyrant of a wife!

  by whatistruth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if i divulged just a few things she had done to me, you would never believe it.

  i don't believe in this utter nonsense at all!

  it is make belief brainwashing fear and guilt.

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  GLTirebiter

  She cant argue if your not in the room with her... Walk away from her

  Unfortunately that tactic can backfire. It adds "You never listen to me! Don't you dare walk away while I'm talking to you!" to the list of alleged grievances. It can make the next fight even worse. Yes, that's from personal experience.

  Whatistruth, please accept what little consolation there is in knowing that you're not alone and things can get better in time. I think your last good hope is to propose counseling from a qualified, unbiased professional (not the elders, who are unqualified amateurs favoring the "more spiritual" party). If she agrees and goes with you, there's a chance to find common ground on which to rebuild your marriage. If she won't, choose the alternative you can better live with: continue living the same way, or admit the marriage is over.
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  47

  Private Discussion

  by besty in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  simon.

  as most people seem to have worked out the private discussion and support part of the forum is not private beyond requiring a username.. today nugget and cantleave are having printouts of their posts in this section being used in evidence at their jc.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/204436/1/nugget-and-cantleave-are-no-longer-jehovahs-witnesses.

  my suggestion is, if its possible, to create an invite-only section of the board for truly private support.. .

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  GLTirebiter

  Perhaps there could be a way to have personal messages address more than one person, instead of only one? That way a private discussion could involve more than two parties without being open to all members. If that won't upset the balance of public discussion vs. privacy, please consider it for a future upgrade to the board.
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  28

  Worlds Apart (Movie) now on Youtube

  by Billen76 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  sara is a teenager who lives with her family, who are jehova's witnesses.

  the family's devout image is questioned when the parents divorce as a consequence of the father's infidelity.

  one night at a party sara meets teis, an older boy who takes an interest in her.

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  GLTirebiter

  As a non-believer who loved a Witness, that movie brings back memories of a time when we thought love would overcome every obstacle.

  The sad thing is that people who haven't had experience with the WT will think the story is an exaggeration for dramatic effect.
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  57

  Deleted Profile

  by brotherdan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have offically asked lady lee to delete my profile on this site.. that being said, i want to thank everyone that was there for me through my hard times coming out of this cult and dealing with my wife who is still in it.

  i know that it seemed like i didn't care and was not gratefull for all the support that i received on the site.

  that's just not true.

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  GLTirebiter

  Dan,

  May you find the peace you are craving, and leave the regrets behind you. If that means you must leave this forum, fare well on life's journey.
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  38

  Another hammer blow for the WTS from the Internet

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  latest pew research reveals that 18-29 year olds now use the internet as their primary source of news.

  interesting correlation between education and primary news source as well.. http://people-press.org/report/689/.

  the national survey by the pew research center for the people & the press, conducted dec. 1-5, 2010 among 1,500 adults reached on cell phones and landlines, finds that more people continue to cite the internet than newspapers as their main source of news, reflecting both the growth of the internet, and the gradual decline in newspaper readership (from 34% in 2007 to 31% now).

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  GLTirebiter

  When I born captive in 1969 there was one baptism for every 2000 hours of preaching. In 2010 it hovers around 5000 hours.

  Besty, I suspect another statistic is even more telling. 5000 hours per baptism candidate is the average, but consider that in many (most?) cases converts come in bunches: they bring along their spouse, children or parents also. My hunch is that each sucessful "study" probably leads to at least two converts, so there is something like 10,000 hours of field drudgery between successful visits. That's five years of full-time work to get a "yes" answer!
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  195

  Is Forgiveness Overrated?

  by leavingwt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  is forgiveness overrated?.

  if i'm being completely honest with myself, there is a short list of folks who i haven't forgiven.

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  GLTirebiter

  It depends on how you define "forgive".

  I'm siding with Mrs. Jones. Forgiveness means letting go of anger and not seeking retribution. It doesn't entail forgetting, pretending there really wasn't any harm, or not taking precautions to prevent a recurrence.

  Forgiveness does not mean enabling the very act you forgave, rather it is a way to seek peace within yourself and with others despite the offense.
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  41

  Lying about divorce reason to be allowed to re-marry

  by Big Softie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i know my view on this but would be interested to see what anyone else thinks.. .

  at a court hearing recently my estranged wife, who left me (i'm not jw) asked me if i would be prepared to lie to her elders and state that i had committed adultery (i didn't) so that she would be allowed to "get on in her faith".

  this from a woman who before she left got intimate (emotionally, i'm not sure about physically) with two "sisters", one of whom took to buying her large bunches of red roses and basicaly furnished her new house for her.. now my view is that she has clearly stated and put in writing that the marriage ended because of my unreasonable behaviour (i.e.

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  GLTirebiter

  Another possible consequence: if you do lie, what stops that admission from reaching the gossip mill? If you make a false admission of adultery for her to pass on to the elders, how will you defend yourself if the word leaks out? I think it wiser to protect and defend your reputation from the local gossips, not assist them.
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  67

  WT Society's Paranoia Over Spiral Binding of Elder's Textbook - Crazy

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this letter was sent as an addendum to the elders regarding their latest elders textbook.

  i think you'll find this interesting and also disconcerting as well.. to all bodies of elders.

  re: spiral binding of shepherding textbook.

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  GLTirebiter

  Perhaps my take on this is wrong, but it seems to me that the WT is acting much like large companies do. They flatter themselves that their top secret policy manual is incredibly important and valuable, that their adversaries will stop at nothing to steal these incredible secrets. The truth is there is nothing special--almost everybody has one, and they mostly say all say the same things, because lawyers dictate what must and must not be said.

  Paranoia seems too strong a word, it's more like much ado about nothing.
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  41

  Lying about divorce reason to be allowed to re-marry

  by Big Softie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i know my view on this but would be interested to see what anyone else thinks.. .

  at a court hearing recently my estranged wife, who left me (i'm not jw) asked me if i would be prepared to lie to her elders and state that i had committed adultery (i didn't) so that she would be allowed to "get on in her faith".

  this from a woman who before she left got intimate (emotionally, i'm not sure about physically) with two "sisters", one of whom took to buying her large bunches of red roses and basicaly furnished her new house for her.. now my view is that she has clearly stated and put in writing that the marriage ended because of my unreasonable behaviour (i.e.

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  GLTirebiter

  See this thread from about a year ago. My advice is the same as it was then: don't make a liar out of yourself for her convenience. She left--her decision. She stays in the Witnesses, knowing they won't allow her to remarry--her decision. She's responsible for the consequences of her decisions, as you are for your own. Don't compromise your self respect by lying at her request, blaming yourself for an act you didnt commit.
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  19

  My son contacted me... need advise

  by Expanded-Mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  2010 will go on the record as a great year for me!

  in november i heard from my youngest son (a jw), who i have not heard from in 8 years (i am an exjw).

  hearing from him was wonderful enough, but he added to that joy by telling me he was married (to a non-jw) and i have a grandchild.

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  GLTirebiter

  I wouldn't push the issue without looking for other signs first. Help carry the grandchild's toys, diaper bag, etc. to and from the car. Are there WT and Awake magazines in the trunk or back seat? Listen to how he's speaking. Are there traces of "theocratic" language when discussing the news or politics? Is there a pattern of being available or unavailable on meeting nights and during weekend service hours? Be observant to the clues that disclose your son's attitude to the organization. It's like using the tools from Theocratic Ministry School in reverse--or playing poker--pay attention to the details, and you'll often discern what they're thinking without them telling you!