Is Forgiveness Overrated?

leavingwt

Is Forgiveness Overrated?

Is it always necessary?

If I'm being completely honest with myself, there is a short list of folks who I haven't forgiven.

What do you think?

life is to short

I myself cannot forgive some people, I just cannot do it. Oprah has said that forgiveness is letting go of the hope that things could have been different.

I understand what she means but when I was hurt as a child, it did not have to happen. The child molesters in my hall right now DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT to go Door to Door no matter what the elders feel. Or the pedophile who was in prison for eight years did not have the right to hold the mentally handicapped child during the WT.

If any of these children were or are being harmed how can I forgive them anymore then what happened to me.

I do not know how to let go of the anger of seeing this. I know things are what they are for me but to still see the STUPID IDIOTS ELDERS allowing a child rapist to hold a baby shower.

I cannot let go of the anger I have toward the elders. There is nothing I can do about it, I tell the people in the congregation, and they still flock to the baby shower, or what ever the pedophiles are doing with the blessings of the elders because the elders are appointed by Jehovah and Jehovah is using them. I tell people who are "worldly" that I have made friends with and they are shocked but still they do nothing, it is like OK but it will not happen to me or my children.

I just have anger, I think about the people I know who knew I was being sexually abused and who let it happen because they were like the elders are or like the rank and file who do nothing. How do you not have anger at them. I do not know if I will ever have an answer.

I think Oprah is right you just have to at some point let it go and realize that there is nothing you can do to change what happened or what might happen.

LITS

bohm

Is Forgiveness Overrated?: no

Is it always necessary? no

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I look forward to seing what kind of responses this thread generate!

acolytes

Forgiveness oftern means acceptence. Sometimes change is neccessary for forgiveness,(In my case)

Acolytes

undercover

Is forgiveness overrated?

It can be...depends on the person and situation. If someone seeks forgiveness and shows that they're sincere, I'm pretty quick to forgive... but...

There are people in my life that have gone too far and have burned all their bridges with me. I'm done with em. I gave them chances, I forgave but when they keep the same bullshit up over an over, you have to cut that poison out of your life. Forgiving someone who is only looking for their own personal gain no matter the cost or damage to others around them is a fool's errand.

Is it easy? One would tend to think that it's not, but when the situation becomes such that any contact with that person turns sour or causes anquish, you start to realize that something has to be easier than this. Once you cut them out, you realize how much better things are without their bullshit.

PSacramento

I can honestly say that, forgiveness may be crucial for mental health.

It is, in many ways, more about You/Us then about "them".

Forgiving someone is good for US, it brings peace to our lives, it closes the door and gives us closure better than anything else.

I truly believe this, I have seen in it my personal life, in the lives of people I know and when I was working with victims of sexual abuse.

Forgiveness, though hard and at times seemingly impossible, is the first step in reclaiming our lives back from Hate.

leavingwt

I can honestly say that, forgiveness may be crucial for mental health.

IOW, we do it because of what we get out of it, not because they deserve it.

VoidEater

Forgiveness is something you do for you.

It is not condoning, approving, understanding, or even accepting what was done.

It's simply the choice to not be controlled by the past.

...it is sometimes good to be guided py history to avoid repeating damaging situations - but you can set boundaries without being in emotional turmoil.

LongHairGal

LEAVING WT:

Forgiving mostly involves letting go of the 'hate' and negative emotions. It does NOT mean that the person or persons who have done you wrong are or should be welcome back into your life. It is mostly about you moving on and not having the rest of your life consumed with resentment and negativity.

This is a fallacy that people believe that forgiving somebody means that the person can just step back into your life and continue as before. There are consequences and also degrees of wrongdoing. Somebody who molests your child would not be viewed in the same category as somebody who stole something out of your garage.

leavingwt

Void:

It's simply the choice to not be controlled by the past.

I think you're right. It's empowering and liberating to let it go, for your own sake. It doesn't mean that you wouldn't punch the ______ in the face if he were standing in front of you. It's about recognizing your limitations and the reality of the situations.

LongHairGal:

This is a fallacy that people believe that forgiving somebody means that the person can just step back into your life and continue as before. There are consequences and also degrees of wrongdoing. Somebody who molests your child would not be viewed in the same category as somebody who stole something out of your garage.

Very true. What is done is done and certain things will never fit back into the box, once removed. There will never be a positive relationship, just a lesson learned. In some cases, there is no going back to before.

Is Forgiveness Overrated?

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