Ex. 1
The elders want to have a sheparding call
I HATE SHEPERDING CALLS! THEY MAKE ME MAD AT WHAT SOCIETY HAS PORTRAYED US AS A BUNCH OF LOONEY BO BOONEY SCIENTIST FREAKS THAT DUN USE PROPER GRAMMAR. WE AINT NUTHIN LIKE THAT SAYS WE IS!
Ex. 2
Elders/Parents say you can't make a decision because your husband is the head
NOW SISTER, YOUS GOTTA STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. MEN ARE BAD PEOPLE AND CAN NOT BE TRUSTED. WHEN THEY SEE WATERMELONS THEIR THINKING ABOUT YOUR BOSOM BECAUSE THEIR INCONSDERATES JERKZ
Ex. 3
Maybe your problems are because you don't study/ pray enough
MAYBE YOUR PROBLEMS IS THAT YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESIONS. PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE AMMUNTION.
Ex. 4
Maybe your not getting appointed because your not taking on your responsibility properly
DID YOU REMEMBER TO GIVE YOUR DADDY A BIG PAT ON THE BUTTCHEEK TODAY? THAT IS THERE RESPONSIBILITY IF I AIN'T NEVER SEENT IT.
ANOTHER ONE OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES IS SPREADING THE WORD OF OUR LURD. I ONCE WAITED 34 HOURS OUTSIDE THIS ONE AFRICAN AMERICAN'S HOUSE AND HE DUN NEVER COME OUT. SO I KNOCKED ON HIS DOOR AGAIN AND HE CHASED AFTER ME. I SPILLED SOME HOLY WATER HIM AND HE STARTED TO KNEEL DOWN ON PRAY TO ME. AND I SIAD YOUNG SHEPERD, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAD SEEN THE GOD TODAY THAT DUN IS THAT.
Ex. 5
I could never be married to your wife because she's not submissive enough
MARRIAGE IS LIKE A COW. IF YOU KEEP MILKING IT MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY. AINT THAT THE TRUTH????
I HOPE I FIT IN AT THIS SITE. I SURE LOVE BEIN A JOWI, BITCHEZZZZ!
-PABLO "GODLUVER" FRANSICO SANCHEZ
