My Boyfriend's not a Witness...

by Hikaru 71 Replies latest social relationships

  • Hikaru
    Hikaru

    Alright, with my last post it should be obvious I'm in conflict...if it's not, then yeah.

    My boyfriend is not a witness. He understands that witnesses can't marry or date non witnesses. But I guess could say we've been stalling...looking for a solution a gray area to that black and white situation...but with time getting as it is...Stalling doesn't work anymore. The more time I stall, the closer it gets with neither of us being saved....

    I should mention this is an online relationship that was wanted to be real someday.... He said he can't convert because he's afraid to "lose himself." Afraid if he devotes himself fully to god, he'd have no room for happiness and lose the love he has for me....

    I'm conflicted on what to do. I can't tell grandma nor an elder. They wouldn't get past the "It's an internet relationship," part long enough to give me guidance. Praying...I prayed and prayed for guidance...and the way it came... It seems god wants me to end it, if that's the answer I got and I'm not just reading too much into it....

    How can I follow my heart, and at the same time hope to save my life? And even if I succeeded in doing both, watch him lose his? I can see why they say only marry in the lord. Not just because there'd be physical conflict...but it also causes emotional pain, knowing even if you're happy now...they won't survive, and you'll only be together for the rest of this f'd up mortal life....And not even that. If it comes before next or the year after? We'll only be together over the internet and never see each other before it......

    I have issues bringing up subjects without withdrawing into silence mode...so I can't talk to him about it. But I had others do it...and he's not even willing to learn enough about it before choosing. He's a humanitarian with christian/christendom morals......

    The thing is, I can't end it! I don't want to end it! Even if I ended the realtionship and chose god... Walking away and getting over it? Not possible. He's too important to me...even if I ended it I wouldn't get over it. I'd still worry for his life, still be in conflict...and probably even more pain. If we stay together the same...... there's just no gray option.

    I asked him this as an attempt."Fine, I have this question. Would you rather be with me forever or only what's left of this f****ed up mortal life?" and the answer he gave was... "Of course I would want to be with you forever. But considering the circumstances.."

    I am at a loss....I honestly don't know what to do. I've read the threads here already...I don't intend on converting. So it's useless to give that answer...

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Have you met this guy in person? Maybe, that's all ti would take for it to end. That would bring an end to all this heart rending on your part.

    S

  • Hikaru
    Hikaru

    We can't until he gets out of HS....

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Well, the end isn't coming for quite a few generations, yet. Also, you' guys are young, and everything, you know. So, time is really is on your side. I mean, you've got yrs and yrs to work things out. The wt had the end coming in 1874, already, w charlie russel. They are really wacked out about that. None of the governing body was even there, in 1874. They don't know crap.

    Just try and relax, and don't overthink this stuff.

    S

  • Hikaru
    Hikaru

    I believe it's close...anyone else have any answers?

  • artemis.design
    artemis.design

    The first thing you need to do is meet this guy. Internet is great for introductions but can be dangerous as you need to build a real relationship rather than one based on fantasy.You might hate each other in real life. Or it might make things strong enough to accept people for who they are. You should not try and change him and he should accept your beliefs too. If you want to change them that is selfish and not true love.

    Arte:)

  • Hikaru
    Hikaru

    We trust each other, we've talked on the phone, given pictures. Known each other online more than a year. Internet is dangerous if you jump right away. But there's certain level of reading peolple that you know when to trust....I don't want a lecture on how the internet is dangerous... I understand full well, but I trust him and love him with....all my heart. And he loves me.

    But as the issue stands. If he doesn't convert, he dies? I can't live with knowing that....

  • artemis.design
    artemis.design

    No, I do not think the internet is dangerous. You missunderstand. I and many of my friends have met people on the internet. I wasted 4 years of my life on a long distance relationship. When we finally got together we had fallen in love with a person we imagined and the reality did not fit the picture. I am not saying that is true in your case. But you should meet to find out one way or another. I think after 1 year that is not "jumping in".

    Also I don't understand why you live life in fear. I grew up a witness but I do not believe the end is coming any time soon. Even if it did (yes I do have doubts at the back of my mind sometimes) I would not change what I have with my partner for anything.

    Arte

  • carla
    carla

    Just to put thing in perspective for you- what were they telling young people in 1969? and they have you believing the very same thing today!

    Awake! 1969 May 22 p15- If you are a young person, you aslso need to face the FACT that you will never grow old in this present system of things. Why not? Because all the evidence in fulfullment of Bible prophecy indicates that this corrupt system of things is DUE TO END IN A FEW YEARS. Of the generation that observed the beginning of of the last days in 1914, Jesus fortold: 'This generation will by no means pass away until all these things occur." Therefore as a young person, YOU WILL NEVER FULFILL ANY CAREER THAT THIS SYSTEM OFFERS. If you are in high school and thinking about a college education, it means at least four perhaps even six or eight more years to graduate into a specialized career. But where will this system of things be at that time? IT WILL BE WELL ON THE WAY TOWARD ITS FINISH, IF NOT ACTUALLY GONE! (emphasis mine)

    And during Rutherfords reign he was promising that 'millions now living will not die'. The wt has been saying the end is near since it's inception.

    This is how you want to live your life? in constant fear? and you want to drag some poor soul along with you? to live in fear and guilt and the hellish life of a jw? Sounds selfish to me, that is not love. Please seek counseling. Don't ruin this young mans life because of your own selfish wants. Let him go and have a wonderful life with a girl who loves him for himself and can grow with him.

  • SuspiciousMinds
    SuspiciousMinds

    You said:

    If he doesn't convert, he dies? I can't live with knowing that....

    I'd like to know if you really believe that? Do you really believe that our loving Creator will destroy all people who are not JWs, even their children, as the Watchtower states? Do you really want to worship a God (the Watchtower version) that will murder your boyfriend simply for not belonging to a religious organization that most do not even take seriously? I think you need to make that decision first.

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