"I want to apologize sincerely for condemning you if we as a body of elders determined that you were unrepentant or rebellious. I realize now that we were not really helping you to be spiritual or to repair the relationship with Jehovah, but rather, we were destroying your world." That statement alone brought tears to my eyes!!! I think elders a lot of the time excuse their HUMAN side for more of a 'business' role, and that is when people get hurt. It's disheartening. But I think it's sweet to apologize for what you feel you had a part in...I respect you for that. For me - I want to apologize to all the GOOD people I've met throughout my life and treated coldly or refused to associate with because I was a JW and thought they were 'bad association'. And to those that were DF'd and in my past, I would shun them and gossip about what I thought they could have done to get in 'trouble'...that I feel terrible for. Especially now that I am DF'd!
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
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Please accept my apology for being an elder and participating in Judicial Committees
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The threat of missing meetings?
by babygirl30 inthis morning i had the memory flashback of something my mom used to always say: that missing meetings is like missing a 'meal', and that if you don't 'eat' on a regular basis, then you will lose your life.
she would come at me with "you have to stay close to the meetings - when armaggedon comes, that is where we will get our directions on where to go and what to do".. i used to be scared not to be at meetings for fear the end would come and i would be alone...or without my parents...all because that day i didn't go to the khall.
anyone else remember that???
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babygirl30
This morning I had the memory flashback of something my mom used to always say: that missing meetings is like missing a 'meal', and that if you don't 'eat' on a regular basis, then you will lose your life. She would come at me with "You have to stay close to the meetings - when Armaggedon comes, THAT is where we will get our directions on where to go and what to do".
I used to be SCARED not to be at meetings for fear The End would come and I would be alone...or without my parents...all because that day I didn't go to the KHall. Anyone else remember that????
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Disfellowshipped People Are A Bad Lot
by garyneal ina week prior to my wife being baptized she and i discussed the reasons why people are disfellowshipped.
she says that people are disfellowshipped because they simply want to live their lives the way they want to and no longer submit to god's will.
in other words, they want to do something that is immoral and goes against bible principles.
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babygirl30
If someone is a raging alcoholic, they need help not being kicked out from their support network of friends and family. Make sense? Talk about ridiculous!! The CO that was serving in my area (during a degrading 'drop by' with another annoying elder) proceeded to tell me that he knows ALL about domestic violence because his own sister was viciously abused by her ex husband who was a JW...for YEARS this dude abused her and nobody did a thing about it. Finally he got busted doing something illegal and went to jail! So the wife gained a divorce and moved in with her brother (this CO). Well, due to all the abuse, she had developed an alcohol problem. Her bro being an 'elder' and being in his house, he turned her IN and she was DF'd. What the HELL kind of brother does that? Obviously his sister was dealing with deep issues (which abuse brings on...I know 1st hand) and so how in the HELL is DFing her showing love/support - the 1 thing she would've needed most? UGH! It's just backwards thinking if you ask me. My mom used to always tell me that a person gets reproved because they are repentant and DF'd because they had a bad attitude. RIGHT.......
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I'm new here!
by its_me! ini have been reading your posts for 2 weeks now, and i am riveted!
i spend every spare moment on this site.
it has become rather like a drug to me!
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babygirl30
Hi and WELCOME! I too was 'born-in' and so I know 1st hand how confusing/scarey it really is when you leave. Keep on posting!
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Do You Personally Know Of Anyone That Committed Suicide?
by minimus inlately, i've come to find out that a more than a few people in the area had killed themselves.
most of the people i know of were in their early twenties or forties.
for those loved ones surviving them, it was mostly a shock!
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babygirl30
Know of 3 JWs that committed suicide and the one was a GOOD friend of mine...so that really threw me for awhile. I wasn't able to even go to his memorial service - NOT because it was at the hKhall, but because it broke my heart that he was THAT 'sad' that taking his own life was his the only option he THOUGHT he had.
But loe-n-behold...there is ALWAYS that stankin JW that opens their mouth and says "Suicide is taking a life, that's murder, and Jehovah does NOT forgive that." That person tried to make it clear that this man would NOT be resurrected...UGH. What a beyotch.
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It's official--I'm out.
by sd-7 in"sd-7 is no longer one of jehovah's witnesses.".
i always imagined this day would come.
i'm not sure exactly how i knew.
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babygirl30
Unfortunately, JWs give too much 'power' to themselves...for instance:
President = recognized all over the world
Doctor (Dr) = respected title in all the medical profession
Senator = recognized across state lines
Diplomat = national recognition
Disfellowshipped = um.............yeah.......ONLY JWs in a cong recognize this one!
See what I mean? See how SMALL that 'title' is when you really think about it and look at it? ONLY Jws recognize that title - so its so insignificant that it's sad. We (as ex-JWs) tend to give it MORE power then it deserves when in actuality WE have the power ourselves. You no longer are a JW...ok, so that now means that you're thinking and way of life can grow and change. JWs are taught that when you leave the fold, you automatically loose your f*ckin mind (like a dog that returns to his vomit???) and are gonna cheat, steal, kill, do drugs, dip your wick in any ol hole...I mean, come on!!! LOL. But it's not about bars, and flirting with women openly, or hanging out with coworkers AFTER work hours (oooh...the horror). IT's about being able to think for yourself. Give credit where credit is due - the org may have given you a moral compass, but YOU have control of it, not them.
Do I feel bad about how MY decision affected my family? YES - I do. It's just a part of me to care about what people think and NOT to do anything to intentionally hurt them. BUT this - my getting DF'd - was NOT intentionally 'my choice' at all. It was a choice of 3 men who had NO real idea what I went through or why I made the mistakes I made. THEY are the one that pulled that rug out from under me...they are the ones that created a scenario where my family would be torn apart...they too are accountable to Jehovah for their actions and decision. Same with you! Your wife, although still in the org, is not blind to what goes on - I'm sure. Ok, so you may have hurt her by deciding to leave the org, but I believe you HONOR her by being honest, keeping her involved in how you feel and think, and considering what would be best for your FAMILY (as a whole). If you were to stay in the org and feel the way you do now, you would be 'lying' to yourself and to her...and what kind of relationship is that? TRUST = LOVE and so if you're not being honest....well...that speaks for itself. You stood up for what you believe, you took what the elders dished out, and now you are on the other side. WELCOME!!!! It's gonna be scarey, confusing, hard, and then scarey again...hahahahaha...but you have 'us' here on this board AND you will find that non-JWs come out the wordwork. I swear, your persona is going to change and you will find that you draw people IN more that want to get to know you and befriend you.
Trust - it'll all work out.
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Ambushed!!!!! Fam'ly Intervention!
by sd-7 inlast night, i went to my parents' house to wash clothes--or so i thought.
apparently, someone's been talking.
so...i get slammed for listening to people on the internet.
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babygirl30
sd-7...............check your PM
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Ambushed!!!!! Fam'ly Intervention!
by sd-7 inlast night, i went to my parents' house to wash clothes--or so i thought.
apparently, someone's been talking.
so...i get slammed for listening to people on the internet.
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babygirl30
You called your brother a 'thug and a bully' ... hahahahaha! I picture Tu-Pac with a bandanna on his head, fat gold chain hanging with a Jesus piece at the end with diamonds, and baggy jeans sitting in the middle of his butt with a wife beater on - telling YOU "How stupid can you be?" LOL!!!
On a serious note, you're right - no 'internet' person can comfort you the way a REAL person can, and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. But know that you are not alone and not the first to have to deal with the ambush of JW family. My beyotch nutbucket sister, who goes for bouts of inactivity for years at a time, had the nerve to try to tell ME off and say "you are dead to me. don't ever post pics of me or my daughter, as we want NOTHING to do with your debasing lifestyle". Um....yeah....ok. This SAME girl doesn't have a job, steals money, has affairs with married men, and has an illegitimate chid - yet she is baptized (all of which she forgets). The holier then thou attitude is TAUGHT to JWs (I was raised one). That superiority complex allows them to think and believe they are smarter, better, wiser, and enlightened WAY beyond everyone else.
I applaud your reasonings...they all are simple and make complete sense. But as I've learned, when someone gets confronted with the TRUTH, and they know it, they get defensive and do one of 3 things: #1 - throw out a 'whatever'....#2 - cuss you out...or #3 - start crying. The fact that your brother chose #2 (cussin) proves that he heard 'truth' in what you brought to his attention, but has no rebuttal. As my ghetto sister would always say when someone tried to rebutt her craziness "You can't argue with ME when you know you suck!" hahahaha
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Were you ever offered unconditional love by worldlies?
by dgp inwhen you were in, or at the moment, if you are in, were you ever offered unconditional love by worldly people?
if so, what did you feel about it?.
thank you very much for your posts..
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babygirl30
Even when I was 'in'...I maintained 'worldly' friendships...guess it was just WHO I am!
My parents used to get MAD at me and tell me that these worldly friends (coworkers, college classmates) were all Satan's way of diverting my attention from Jehovah and that I was NOT going to have this blessing if I continued to associate with these people. UGH!!! Inevitably, when I am DF'd - those same 'worldly people' ended up being the ONLY ones that had my back...when all those wholesome JW friendships fell by the wayside.
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The reporting of field service time
by lepermessiah inwere any of you really bothered/still bothered by the practice of field service reporting?.
there was an old post on here that got me thinking how the practice got started.. instead of simply being a tool to monitor the progress of the faith, or to see if the work was done "throughout the earth", it appears to me that it was just a tool used to keep the presses rolling and to see how much literature to produce - along with controlling the rank and file.
the average jw gives it no thought, its just another "blessing" from the organization when you hear the monthly reports, etc.. the organization is so statistics-driven that they make jesus out to be a ceo with people who need to meet their sales quotas.i'm sure he really wouldnt care if peter and andrew got 20 hours one month and john got 25. wait, maybe thats why john was "beloved" .
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babygirl30
I have always thought it was sad that people (who claimed to be family) and KNOW that Jehovah can read their hearts - no matter how much or little they did - would count people as a NUMBER (time in service...amount of publications sold...number of rv's)! It has never made a bit of sense to me because it's so impersonal. Corporate America recognizes people as 'numbers' - they don't care what your name is, how old you are, where you live or your personal situation. ALL they care about is how much money you make them! The society seems to be the same way...it's not about WHO you are, it's about how many hours and placements!