Unfortunately, JWs give too much 'power' to themselves...for instance:
President = recognized all over the world
Doctor (Dr) = respected title in all the medical profession
Senator = recognized across state lines
Diplomat = national recognition
Disfellowshipped = um.............yeah.......ONLY JWs in a cong recognize this one!
See what I mean? See how SMALL that 'title' is when you really think about it and look at it? ONLY Jws recognize that title - so its so insignificant that it's sad. We (as ex-JWs) tend to give it MORE power then it deserves when in actuality WE have the power ourselves. You no longer are a JW...ok, so that now means that you're thinking and way of life can grow and change. JWs are taught that when you leave the fold, you automatically loose your f*ckin mind (like a dog that returns to his vomit???) and are gonna cheat, steal, kill, do drugs, dip your wick in any ol hole...I mean, come on!!! LOL. But it's not about bars, and flirting with women openly, or hanging out with coworkers AFTER work hours (oooh...the horror). IT's about being able to think for yourself. Give credit where credit is due - the org may have given you a moral compass, but YOU have control of it, not them.
Do I feel bad about how MY decision affected my family? YES - I do. It's just a part of me to care about what people think and NOT to do anything to intentionally hurt them. BUT this - my getting DF'd - was NOT intentionally 'my choice' at all. It was a choice of 3 men who had NO real idea what I went through or why I made the mistakes I made. THEY are the one that pulled that rug out from under me...they are the ones that created a scenario where my family would be torn apart...they too are accountable to Jehovah for their actions and decision. Same with you! Your wife, although still in the org, is not blind to what goes on - I'm sure. Ok, so you may have hurt her by deciding to leave the org, but I believe you HONOR her by being honest, keeping her involved in how you feel and think, and considering what would be best for your FAMILY (as a whole). If you were to stay in the org and feel the way you do now, you would be 'lying' to yourself and to her...and what kind of relationship is that? TRUST = LOVE and so if you're not being honest....well...that speaks for itself. You stood up for what you believe, you took what the elders dished out, and now you are on the other side. WELCOME!!!! It's gonna be scarey, confusing, hard, and then scarey again...hahahahaha...but you have 'us' here on this board AND you will find that non-JWs come out the wordwork. I swear, your persona is going to change and you will find that you draw people IN more that want to get to know you and befriend you.
Trust - it'll all work out.
