Posts by babygirl30

106

WT SHUNNING POLICY: What has it done, or could it do to you?

by flipper in

jw
friends

hi y'all, this is mrs. flipper.

please share your experiences with this, or possible consequences of being outed.. this recent controversy and resulting arguments all stem from people being outed - possibly losing friends and family because most jw's will blindly follow the watchtower's rules to shun them.. among people i know and experiences read here, the grief and loss caused by this is terrible, and maybe now is a good time to put up some experiences here, and put the focus on the worst villians of all - wt policymakers..

babygirl30

It definitely has the potential to do more harm then good - as we all know - it's truly emotional blackmail. I think of those I know that have done themselves harm (or taken their lives) over being DF'd/shunned, and that to me is so sad...

But I will say this: TALKING about the whole shunning scenario makes most people LAUGH! Even thinking about it now makes me laugh. I'm extremely outgoing, and am one of those people who always has a 'crowd' around her. So when I explain to my friends that my own parents do not speak to me and that in going to the Khall (which hasn't been in years), people who have known me since I was a baby IGNORE me as if I'm not even there - always ends up in the proverbial "are you kidding me?" and then it's followed by laughs! So the whole purpose of drawing me back into the fold backfires on them - not me. People get to see how disgusting shunning is...which is enough of a 'witness' for me! :-)

42

share your reaction after reading CoC and ISoCF

by suavojr in

jw
friends

after reading coc and isocf i cried, i was in shock, disillusioned, angry, and afraid... anyone wants to share their experience?.

i would like to see what you think about these questions when compared with your account.. why people from different backgrounds feel similar reactions?

(cannot be a conpiracy).

babygirl30

CofC made me cry like a baby! I remember downloading it while at work, and began reading it during downtime...started tearing up and all right at work!! Once I got home, I could NOT put it down. The day I was df'd and I walked out of that Khall - it was like a weight was lifted off me. I read CofC a little over a year later, and the day I finished that book - I let out a sigh of relief through my tears. I felt FREE.

78

What's the most insensitive thing you have been told while grieving?

by 3rdgen in

jw
friends

a few years ago my 21 yr old firstborn and only son died in an accident.

i was an active jw at the time.

in fact , i was at the meeting when it happened.

babygirl30

After a JW sister had a miscarriage, an ELDER came into the room and said to her "I'm sorry for your loss. But at least you never actually HELD a literal baby...and now you get to keep trying". Mind you, this woman had been trying to years to get pregnant (drugs and all) and she and her husband were in debt due to all treatments.

5

Long Time - No Speak (to my JWN friends)...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

............i'm back!.

been a long time since i posted on here - although i have been 'reading' posts on a regular basis.

feel like i've been away from 'family' for awhile.

babygirl30

............I'm back!

Been a LONG time since I posted on here - although I have been 'reading' posts on a regular basis. Feel like I've been away from 'family' for awhile. How has everyone BEEN? See a LOT of 'new' posters too - which is GOOD.

Had a bit of a tough past year though:

1. My BPD sister migrated out of state, left my little niece to be raised by our JW parents, and that sent my whole extended family into an uproar. Half because of my sister decision to leave her own child behind, and half because I spoke UP...I began to 'share' my story with my aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, whomever would listen. I WANTED people to know why my own mother and father do NOT speak to me...why they choose it ignore their own daughter. That simple act of opening my mouth and speaking up - ended up causing family to 'question' my dad, and they openly began sharing stories that would make Jesus blush - hahahaha - about my folks and how THEY have no right to judge anyone...ironic!

2. I have not set foot in a Khall in over a year - not even for the Memorial. Why would I? I don't believe their teachings. My mother actually had one of the elders call me to 'check up on me' being that I've been Df'd for going on 3yrs now...and my response to him was "although I appreciate the call, it's disheartening that it was prompted by someone ELSE - not by genuine love and concern". Haven't heard back since! And of course my parents continue to practice their shunning in the harshest way...and yes, it still hurts. In the NE here, we were hit with extensive 'storms' (hurricane in Oct, snow storm in Nov) both resulting in massive power outages. Not ONCE did my parents call to check on me! NOT ONCE. Normally I'm pretty strong and can take their ignorance, but that still stings. My own parents did not care enough about my well being to call to see if I was ok...that is so sick.

3. Been focused on my CAREER! A feat I was unable to conquer in my JW days...as we all remember, meeting nights were to be held as 'sacred' and nothing was to interfere! :-( Well, I am able to work as long as I want/need and not feel guilty about it - and I don't. Although oddly enough, one of my coworkers started being 'distant' to me and come to find out, she recently was baptized as a JW and told me that THAT is why she doesn't stop and talk anymore. Her next words "if you ever decide to come back, I'd be happy to renew our friendship". My reply to her "well then I guess we'll just be coworkers - cause there will be no comeback for me!" - LOL

4. Have NOT found a 'nice guy' to settle down with yet, but am for the first time in my LIFE, satisfied being single! Dating is tiring sometimes, but FUN...and because I am so focused with my job, dating is not my main focus. But it's NICE not to feel the constant pressure of "OMG - she's over 30 and not married...gotta find a nice brother!" NOPE!! Taking my time and enjoying the ride...

5. Been doing TONS of research on the JWs. A lot of 'friends' (a term I use loosely anymore) have fallen away, been DF'd, or just don't care about the rules anymore...funny how it seems a lot of us Gen. X-ers don't give a gerbils nut about all the 'laws' the JWs have set out...although I still have not spoken to or heard from a lot of the people I once assumed I was soooo close to in JW-land, but I honestly see it as their loss - not mine.

So that's the latest.

36

Young JW's

by XPeterX in

jw
friends

from what i've noticed 'wordly' teens or very young adults won't follow jw's.most teens/young jw's are born in,so boasting about the theocratic youth is actually boasting about jw children lol..

babygirl30

I agree with poopsie. I am 30 years old and being held to a commitment that I didn't fully understand that I was making at 13 years old. I thought I was dedicating my life to God and the pursuit of truth, not an organization above all else.

TOTALLY agree!!!! At 32yrs old now, I look back and think "WHY did I not hold out?" My parents made it clear that NO adult children would be in their home - unbaptized. So, at 14 I took that dip! And in a letter to my folks, I asked them how I can be held to a decision I made (well...was pushed to make) as a child? I couldn't vote, couldn't get married, couldn't drink alcohol or even work FT to support myself, yet I was 'old' enough to promise my LIFE to a religion? That day of my baptism, I swore I was doing the right thing to make mom and dad happy (not any God). Little did I know that my parents approval would be a losing battle - hahahahaha.

209

My Family

by alice.in.wonderland in

to those that have accused me of insensitivity about abuse:.

my father and his brother and sisters were raised by a man who became rich in the 1950s.

he owned a construction company during a housing boom in a metropolitan area.

babygirl30

209

My Family

by alice.in.wonderland in

to those that have accused me of insensitivity about abuse:.

my father and his brother and sisters were raised by a man who became rich in the 1950s.

he owned a construction company during a housing boom in a metropolitan area.

babygirl30

I have learned (through the years of ABUSE that I suffered) that the people who are THE MOST JUDGEMENTAL about others suffering - usually (90% of the time) have 'suffered' themselves the same way, and they are either ashamed or angry about the 'suffering' they dealt with, and in return, project those feelings onto OTHERS by judging them and their situations.

Granted I am no longer a victim, but I'll be damned if I read/hear someone ELSES story of abuse and give them point blank and judgemental responses! The way to endear people is to get on THEIR level and have compassion - not judgement. So Alice, I don't know you personally nor do I know whether or not your story is true. But IF it is, then I'm sorry you went through that...but recognize that in place of compassion, YOU now have turned that abusive behavior onto others.

30

Today is my 2yr Anniversary of being OUT of JWs - honoring it with a letter! (long)

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

today is my 2yr anniversary since being df'd - and my life has changed a lot!!!

this is a letter i wrote to my parents...i did see/talk to them in feb when i had my surgery, but of course as it goes, now that i'm 'better' - they are back to shunning me.

so this was sent to them both, so that they understood that despite all the jw bull ish, and how they are treating me now - i'm ok and happy!

babygirl30

imissmaine / truthseekeriam / laverite

Thanks for the responses - I really TRULY appreciate that!!! But, unfortunately I heard NOTHING from them at all. No 'thank you'...no response at all. Matter-a-fact, I recently had to email my aunts/uncles in order to find out how my parents are DOING currently! It's pathetic, I know, but I was thinking about them and wondered about their well being. Learned that my sister moved to NCarolina for a job, and with that, took my lil niece with her - so THAT means my folks are suffering because THEY took care of the baby most of the time (my sister is mentally ill) and that lil baby was where they turned all their attention and time. Now that she's gone, who knows, MAYBE my folks will suddenly try to reach out to me...but, I'm not getting my hopes up!

21

It will never end...

by mrsjones5 in

jw
friends

i'm gonna try and make this short.

my husband blocked all of my parents's numbers (home and cell) from calling our house.

he did because they were continuing to say and repeat stupid stuff and stressing me out further than what i'm already stressed and they're trying to suing the property management of our apartment to retrieve monies that we had agreed to repay them (the property manager called us about it).. hubby has had enough.

babygirl30

I'm still surprised at how much my parents' issues continue to effect me in adulthood.

AMEN! This is part of the reason why i'm IN therapy...as even though I am 32yrs old and have been OUT of my parents house for sometime physically - EMOTIONALLY there is a 'hold' on my thoughts/perceptions/feelings that I continue to give them - and it makes me so angry.

mrsjones5 - I'm sorry that your parents are treating you with SUCH disrespect! They act that way because you won't back down, you know that right? It's like withoholding alcohol from a drunk - they will flip out on you!! Same with controlling parents - they will start trippin when you stand up to them or don't play into their games/attitude. Stay STRONG girl!

30

Did you ever know any JW's/Pioneers who frequented popular nightspots and got drunk?

by James_Slash in

it used to make me sick at these hypocrites.. they would be at the meeting the next day or out in field service, obviously still intoxicated from the night before but putting a show on before the congregation.

i knew a couple of girls who would be regulary doing this over a weekend yet they would be pioneers all week, answering up at the meetings yet would be heading into popular nightspots and coming home at 4am drunk.

their dad was an elder (surprise, surprise).. i remember telling an elder about this once.

babygirl30

There was this 'holier then thou' family where all 3 of the girls (ages 17-23) were 'regular pioneers' and loved BRAGGING about it! They hailed from NY (thinking they sat at the right hand of God I guess) would look down on some of the other young sisters who either didn't put as much time in, didn't pioneer, or weren't in their 'clicque'. Anyways, these girls basically SHUNNED me way before I was even DF'd because they saw me out with worldly folk...hahahaha...and because I went to the elders on thier brother (for hitting on me inappropriately). As these fake-ass chicks usually do, they thumbed their nose and gossiped about me after I was DFd. But about 6 mos out, I was at a club with a date, and WHO is there but a bunch of JW 'pioneers' these girls included. Droppin it like it's HOT...drinks in the hand...shakin it ON some random guys there!!!!! They kept trying to avoid me, but I made SURE they saw me and knew I saw THEM. Needless to say they ran out the club quick...