I always remember my mom telling me the same thing: "It's amazing how no matter WHAT goes on, an article or a talk comes up at the RIGHT time and it can only be Jehovah". She would throw that in my face all the time.
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
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4
Some of the things they say...
by AwSnap ini spoke with a jw recently...we were shooting the breeze and i joked what a rebel i am & he said "we recently had a great watchtower on that very topic, how so many people in the world are rebellious these days and how jehovah looks at that.
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What is my legacy?
by babygirl30 inas i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!
i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.
so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.
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babygirl30
Your Legacy is yours to define and execute. I wish you much success in this endeavour. Have you given any thoughts to what it might include?
You're right! Since being DF'd, I've really gotten 'involved' in areas of society that I NEVER would've before because it was just NOT what JWs do!! I volunteer with the Domestic Violence coalition here in my area, I joined a tennis league and they play on what USED to be my mtg nights (oooohhh - hahahahahah!), and I am following a career path that would NEVER be approved by JWs. So I feel successful to a degree, and I know i am a good person and all...it's just every once in a awhile I get the crazy 'thought' reminding me that JWs do not and would not think very highly of me NOW all because of a title. If I were to die tomorrow, there are tons of people who like me for me and couldn't say 1 bad thing about me. But none of that matters to JWs ... my legacy to THEM is defined by that ugly title (DF'd). That hurts.
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What is my legacy?
by babygirl30 inas i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!
i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.
so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.
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babygirl30
The thing is...I have plenty of non-JW friends! I always have...hahahahaha. Even when the society said "avoid bad association" I STILL was hanging out with and making friends outside the org. For some reason, that was 1 area that I towed the line because I seemed to find genuine people out there in the 'world' and was not about to be a snob and NOT deal with them. So of course when I was DF'd, it wasn't AS hard for me to have people to associate with - which I'm grateful for. If you ask THOSE friends (my real ones) what kind of person I am - they will tell you good things about me. But if you were to ask a JW (now since I've been DF'd) what kind of person I was - I guarantee it would involve the typical "Oh - she is DF'd".
UGH!!!!!!!!!
My bf and all my non-JW friends really have shown me unconditional love and support. This board does too! Im able to vent and really talk about how I feel and what I go through - and others can relate. It's just crazy to think that I am defined (by JWs) as 'less then' and that they are convinced that God feels the SAME WAY about me! -hahahahaha. Doesn't make a bit of sense to me.
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What is my legacy?
by babygirl30 inas i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!
i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.
so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.
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babygirl30
As i was cleaning my house last night, I was boxing up all my JW literature I still had out in the open...and I was surprised how there was so much!! I still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was FULL over old KMs/Watchtower & Awakes/Bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!
So I throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when I'm done and relaxing, I start thinking about what my legacy will be. Im 31, before being DF'd I was what I thought was the 'model' JW...I pioneered, I was on 2 RBC groups, I was well known in my circuit (born and bred there), and had tons of friends from all states visiting me on a regular basis. Was always invited to gatherings all over the place, always had dinner parties at my own home, and was forever traveling somewhere to another area and making tons of friends there!!
I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to as a JW...highly recommended and respected. And now, after making a mistake, I will forever be remembered as 'disfellowshipped'. THAT is my legacy!!! Despite everything I did in the org, and no matter how many people supposedly loved and cared about me, no matter how good my heart is and the hardship I went through - I will always be known as "the sister that was disfellowshipped". That makes me angry to think that people will judge me based on what they ASSUME I did (not that they actually know what happened to me and with me) and feel they have the right to look down on me because of it all. I didn't kill anyone, I didn't commit grand theft, I didn't defraud anyone, I don't smoke, never did a drug in my life, and don't overdrink to the point of being intoxicated. Yes I still broke a 'rule' and committed fornication - but that is WHAT I did - it's not WHO I am nor should I be held up to that for the rest of my life all because 3 men felt that I wasn't repentant DESPITE me going forward to them on my own initiative and confessing everything. So those 3 men had the power the make or break my life as I knew it and they chose to break it...so now I am left with this 'scarlet letter' to signify that I WAS good (in JW eyes) at 1 point but now am not.
Just venting. Thanks for reading.
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meetings in insane situations
by highdose inmy cong was very keen on having the meeting no matter what.
i remember one occasion when we had a power cut in the middle of winter.
due to the fact that there was no windows to the hall (!
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babygirl30
I always felt it was 'crazy' to see JW's out in the ministry in the freezing cold, snow, or pouring rain. I mean COME ON...people think JW's are nuts anyways, and that type of behavior only perpetuates thos thoughts.
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My Worldly" Aunt...
by jamiebowers incalled to let me know that she had it out with a jw relative about her nasty attitude.
my dear auntie was so worked up that she said to the jw, "not one jw i've ever known is happy!".
it's not as funny in written form as it was to hear her exclaiming this over the phone.
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babygirl30
I remember when I was a rank and file and even for 3 years after being disfellowshipped, I thought the shunning was out of love. I just felt like I was bad and was confused as to why I couldn't fix myself and feel close to God. I didnt feel comfortable even talking with other Df'd people. I now see as it as sort of a blessing in disguise. I don't know how many more years I would have devoted to the Watchtower if I wouldn't have made the "mistakes" I did to be kicked out. Also, the way in which the JC handled it seemed okay and "loving" at the time, but as I began to see more clearly I saw how messed up it all was. This helped when I started sorting things out in my head. Not saying it's a good thing.. just trying to remember what it was to think like a rank and file member about Dfing.
That is exactly how I USED to feel...like getting kicked OUT of the 1 place I counted on HELPING me - was an act of 'love' on Jehovah's part! BOO HISS!!!! I'm sorry, but being out NOW and reasoning on that statement, it really shows no compassion or real love on Jehovah's part. My situation was really messed up (involved abuse) - so - that meant that Jehovah loved ME so much that he disposed of ME, yet allowed my abuser to continue in his org as if nothing happened - accepted by all? Or that Jehovah is the kindof God that would deem my LIFE worthless enough to toss me out of his cong despite there being threats on my life and my safety? WOW! Even sadder is that we didnt see all of this till we were out...and felt it was ok to finally think for ourselves. Makes me sad that I treated other DF'd JWs this way when I was still in the org - ignoring them, judging them, looking at them as if it was what they deserved because it was supposedly Jehovah's way of showing 'love' to that person. UGH!
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My Worldly" Aunt...
by jamiebowers incalled to let me know that she had it out with a jw relative about her nasty attitude.
my dear auntie was so worked up that she said to the jw, "not one jw i've ever known is happy!".
it's not as funny in written form as it was to hear her exclaiming this over the phone.
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babygirl30
This same scenario JUST happened to me a few weeks ago:
My wordly aunt and I were emailing back and forth when she asked how my mom's surgery went (my dad is her brother) and I told her that I had NO IDEA my mom even had surgery!! Then I proceeded to explain (in a non-biased manner) the whole DF situation and how my folks have made the decision to shun me...she was disgusted, to say the least. It led to an open discussion about JW's and how I was treated by them, and her exact words were "No God that WE (all my aunts/uncles AND my dad) were raised to love would EVER require a parent to choose a religion over their own child!"
Apparently after that she spoke to my dad (on her own initiative) - at which her response to me AFTER the conversation was "I had no idea my brother was THIS stubborn. I would expect this from your mom but NOT my brother _ I am so sorry." The 'worldly' family never liked my mom...always thought was cooky (cause of her overly zealous JW actions) and they feel that SHE is the one pressuring my dad to shun me. She reassured me that they all (aunts/uncles) still love me and are there for me. Either way, all my aunts/uncles never cared for JWs and this situation - me being shunned and DF'd - leaves an even worse 'witness' with them. But according to my parents, TELLING my aunt about my situation brings reproach on Jehovah's name?!
I FEEL for you...cause I'm in the same situation. But isn't it amazing how clear-thinking, rational non JW human beings (family or not) can see how cruel and biased DF'ing is?
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WHO polices the Circuit Overseers?
by babygirl30 inis required to 'monitor' the elders...but who monitors the c.o.?
i ask that because thinking back to all the c.o.
's i've had seen, each had his own personality and style.
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babygirl30
I know that the C.O. is required to 'monitor' the elders...but WHO monitors the C.O.? I ask that because thinking back to all the C.O.'s I've had seen, each had his own personality and style. I remember one (when i was little) - HIS wife was a nut...she hated all things Disney and made it clear to all the sis's in the cong that Disney movies were inappropriate and demonized for JW children - mind you years later her husband got deleted as a C.O. for inappropriate behavior with a single sister! (isn't THAT demonized too???) Another I remember both he and his wife were very 'siddity' and gravitated towards the couples in our cong that had money...and they would go on trips together, sit together, have this C.O. over for dinner all the time - I mean they became close friends. BUT it always felt like the rest of the us were out of his range...and his wife was THE snottiest chick I've ever met. UGH!!! Another I recall was old as dirt...this dude had 1 foot in the grave and his wife was 1/2 his age!!!! She was VERY standoffish and HE was in a world of his own. I swear this man had his OWN teachings and was soooooooo boring. Lastly, there is the C.O. that is in the cong now...I really thought he was genuine and had a compassionate side to him. BUT being DF'd and him getting involved in my case, well, I now see that this guy is as pompous as they come. Came to bless me with a visit (I guess...) and pretty much made me feel like crap. Warned me against talking to the elders AND to my parents because of my DF status, and pretty much reminded me WHY I did not want to go back to the org. I was confused by a LOT of what he said in the visit so I asked him to come back...and he did...but he made it CLEAR that he was 'unwilling' to do this and from then on the conversation went DOWNHILL. I will never forget 1 word that man said to me because he made me, a domestic violence victim at the hands of a fellow JW, feel like a VICTIM all over again.
Anyone else had to deal with some off the wall C.O.s?
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Email & Texting.....The JW way of personal communication
by Girlie ini came across an email this morning from an old jw acquaintance, stating that she hasn't heard from me in a while (about 4 or 5 months) and was wondering how i am doing.
she goes into this spiel about how she is mentally exhausted from family, ministry, etc.
she then ask me to contact her at home after 3 p.m., leaving her phone number.
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babygirl30
I used to do that myself...when there was someone I didn't SEE a lot, i would email/text them to 'check up' on them and let them know I was thinking about them. Wasn't because I was OVERLY concerned or that it really mattered - it was an EGO thing! It was done to stroke my haughty ego...so that I could say "Oh yeah, I just emailed sis (xyz) to see how she is and she hasn't replied - must be up to no good!" hahahaha. NOW it sound ridiculous but back then it made all the sense in the world to me.
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real fake friends
by diamondiiz ini wondered how did your "best" jw friends react to when you told them you're leaving wts?.
after i found out all i needed to know i called up my old friend who i thought was a good friend but i knew he was a die hard dub and i told him to write down a book and read it.
i was refering to russell's thy kingdom come.
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babygirl30
Only about 3 of my JW 'friends' (out of TONS) still talk to me now...and at first it really hurt and bothered me. I am VERY outgoing and social, had JW friends in just about every state, my phone was ALWAYS ringing, and I ALWAYS had people at my house!! What's so sad (and still bothers me) is that 1 announcement - 1 freakin judgemental announcement decided on by 3 men/2 of whom I have had personal issues with anyways - changed my entire LIFE...so much so that almost all those people who were endlessly at my house NOW have nothing to say to me! Getting DF'd taught me about 'conditional love' - and that is what JWs are taught. If ur not serving Jehovah with them - you are against them. And that making 'mistakes' can warrant losing your entire social circle in 1 night!!!! Those 'friends' I used to have...well...they cried when I told them I was getting DF'd (although ALL of them questioned WHY I was getting DF'd due to my situation) but it hasn't changed how they ignore me or stopped keeping in touch. But who really WANTS friends like that...it's fairweather.