Hi, Good Question.
I left the org first. It was very hard telling my husband. He knew something was wrong for months because I was missing many meetings and when I went out in service I would not hand out the WT magazines only a small tract about the Paradise. Also the last meeting I attended, I walked out during the WT study and sat in the car. That day we had the inevitable discussion about what was wrong.
I simply told him I no longer believe the WT teachings and could not support them.
My husband blew a complete gasket. He yelled, screamed for hours on end. Threatened me with divorce and financial ruin. I did not have a job outside the home at the time and had two young kids. He called me stupid, unspiritual, mentally ill and demented. And told me that our kids are going to be destroyed because of me. That is because the kids did not want to attend the meetings if mommy didn't. Since I was the one who trained them spiritually.
The children were very traumatized because they never saw their father behave like this. Also my son had nightmares because of fear of being destroyed by Jehovah. He is fine now though. But through out this ordeal, I stayed calm and told him I would happily explain the reasons why I could not support the WT. And that if he wanted to remain a jw I would support that decision of his. He accused me of going on Apostate websites, which I had not at that time. It was not until I left that I went to those types of sites.
In actuality, I started seeing the discrepencies in the WT's own mags and while reading the bible in its context discovered they were twisting many scriptures to prove their own teachings. Viewing apostate teachings had nothing to do with my leaving. Once I saw the discrepancies I did research the origins of the WT and thats when I discovered the pyramids, etc. and how the WT was apostate from the beginning.
Anyway, within a week of telling hubby, I wrote a 10 page DA letter including scriptural proof the WT was in error and hand delivered it to the brothers. I told them not to bother to contact me for any judicial meetings and they were welcome to come by ONLY if they would be able to prove I am in scriptural error and wish to correct me.
I am still waiting 7 years later, no elder has ever tried to speak with me nor correct my views.
Meanwhile...........hubby continued with the meetings for 3 months, waiting for the elders to speak to him about his wife now being an obvious apostate. After a month went by and no one spoke to him or even looked at him at the meetings, he asked to read my DA letter. By this time, he accepted that I was not going back and was curious as to why I left. He was calmer too, so I gave it to him. He retreated upstairs with the bible and the letter and read it in private.
He never said a word about my letter and continued to meetings 2 more months. Then one evening out of the blue he didn't get dressed for the meeting. I asked if he was going and he told me he was quitting the WT. When I asked why he said because after 3 months not one elder approached him to see how he was doing, or ask what happened with your wife. And he felt the way they avoided him that they were afraid to even approach the subject, maybe because they had no response to my Q's raised. He also looked up all the scriputures I quoted in my Da letter and read them completely in their context and felt what I stated was true and accurate scripturally and that the WT was the one in error.
Anyway they showed themselves for not being spiritual shepherds at all (one of the points I raised in my letter) and he decided to leave. So he gave in his one line DA letter the following week simply stating "I no longer wish to be considered one of Jehovah's Witnesses". Since then and until now, not one elder has stopped by or called regarding our decisions.
Thats my story. Peace, Lilly
