Joilette you’re not too old to have children at 39. I had my boys two months before my 40th birthday. I know time is ticking but there are other options for having kids than giving birth and if you’re training to be a social worker that puts you in an excellent position for fostering etc.
I do know a little of how you feel but unfortunately feeling alone is a symptom of getting older. We gradually loose those that care about us to death. Grandparents, parents, siblings...spouses.My niece has just lost her dad and she’s only 2. I would give anything to know my kids will have a parent alive at 39.In some ways you’re fortunate to have a living parent. Also, if you get baptised and then leave or can’t cope with the restrictions, your mum may shun you. It’s far more draconian now and being married her husband may force her hand.
Also, remember there are way more female JWs than male, so there’s a lot of single sisters. Some may say you’ve little chance of finding a good marriage within the organization.
But I get it, it’s terrifying. Have you considered talking to a therapist? You may have abandonment issues. I think many of us do due to childhood fear/trauma of shunning.
Perhaps you could find an ex cult member group or recovering from religion? How about ANY non affiliated Christian group, there’s some info on you tube look up Simply Christian website or Borean pickets. Failing that ANY group where you can talk, socialise and meet new people. I know it’s scary as you get older but you’ll never be so young and, trust me, at 39 you’ve still got it!!!!!