I was an upwardly mobile MS, trying to be perfect so the elders would bless my efforts and deem me one of the in crowd of younger older-men.
When the 1995 change came I remember asking my then mentor, a know it all elder who was only four years older than I and was barely twenty when he was appointed elder, say to me that it really didn't matter.
He said that to him The Truth(C) was the best way of living and even if it turned out it was wrong, he would have still lived the best life. So it could never be wrong in his mind, it would always be the best life, free from drugs, immorality, and everything this "wicked system" has to offer.
I remember it struck me as a weird way to look at things.
If it wasn't the truth, I thought, then I really want to find out exactly what is the real truth. And I remember thinking how stupid it really sounded to continue doing something you found out was a lie.
Shortly after that I became an elder and had to quiet down all doubts lest I backslide into questionings and doubts.
What a bone head I was. (& probably still am, it's just that now I know for a fact the many lies that hold up The Truth(C) and no, it's not the best life one could ever have!)