nugget

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Posts by nugget

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  36

  I miss Outlaw.

  by Chariklo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  someone mentioned outlaw to me the other day.. i do miss him.

  i thought he was coming back after a break.. does anyone have an update?.

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  nugget

  He is such a big personality and no thread is complete without his wit and charm. I miss him too.
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  81

  Help! I'm having serious thoughts about going back

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello old friends, i've been thinking about going back and need you all to give me your thoughts on it.. the last year has been a horribe one for me, in the span of less than a year the following things have happened to me:.

  lost my mom to cancergot hit by a carhad a professional set back that will cost over 600k to resolveended a three and a half year relationshipit just feels like every time i think things are going to get better something else hits me and knocks me down, a small part of me wonders wether i brought all these things on myself because i left the organization (yes i know how silly that sounds) and i have given serious thought about going back.

  i need you guys to talk me out of it!.

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  nugget

  Zack what a lovely first post welcome.

  Lola when you wanted help your first instinct wasn't to phone the elders but it was to post here where people are happy to offer advice without an agenda. This is a brilliant support network and has a host of wisdom from many decades in and out of the organisation.

  I am so sorry all that bad stuff happened to you but do you truly believe that all those things wouldn't have happened if you had still been going to meetings? Sadly those things would still have happened. You wouldn't have saved anyone's life or not had an accident just because you were regularly attending. It is perfectly natural to feel a sense of guilt along with a sense of loss, when someone close to you dies it is a huge shock but you are not responsible for those things happening. That would suggest that god is vindictive and spiteful punnishing the innocent and not the guilty.

  I would get some professional counselling to help you deal with all this trauma and help you find a balance and a way through all of this. They will help you to negotiate your feelings objectively and help you make a clear judgement not based on fear or guilt.
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  31

  My email to my mother - sorry a bit long

  by darthweef in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello - i am new here .. just joined a couple of days ago, and have enjoyed the bit of lurking that i have done.

  a breif history, i was raised as a jw, was active until i was 36, and was a regular pioneer for 7 years and a ministerial servant for 5 years, and was one when i left.

  my reasons for leaving are not important at this point, but i have spent the last year or so researching the flood and more extensively the theory of evolution.. i have finally decided to broach the topic with my mother since after all this time, the last of my jw friends and my brother and sister have all decided that they should shun me now, and i want to make a last ditch effort to convey to my mother that i didn't leave the organization so i could do lines of coke off a cheap hooker, but because i actually believe that this is not the truth.. i'd love some feedback on the email and what you think the possibility of it actually breaking through the "permafrost" created by the society.

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  nugget

  Sorry that your mum was not ready to actually take in what you said. I do not believe that she read much of your letter but shut down as soon as the cognitive dissonance clicked in. If she had read it properly the evidence was clear, however witnesses are taught to reject anything critical of their beliefs and certainly she was not ready to hear that her belief system was flawed.

  I sincerely hope she keeps your letter and looks at it on another occasion. In the meantime focus on the positives and the things you have control over. time is on your side there is no armageddon your mum will realise at some point that she has been duped.
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  19

  Quote where WT says people can leave org. without repercussions?

  by ronwashington in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  months ago someone here mentioned a quote from some sort of interview where a wt spokeperson (brown?

  ) said a person can leave the org.

  without repurcussions.

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  nugget

  Black sheep has it, it was part of the independent article on mentally diseased watchtower. The society gave the impression that people were free to leave without consequences which is a blatant lie.
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  31

  My email to my mother - sorry a bit long

  by darthweef in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello - i am new here .. just joined a couple of days ago, and have enjoyed the bit of lurking that i have done.

  a breif history, i was raised as a jw, was active until i was 36, and was a regular pioneer for 7 years and a ministerial servant for 5 years, and was one when i left.

  my reasons for leaving are not important at this point, but i have spent the last year or so researching the flood and more extensively the theory of evolution.. i have finally decided to broach the topic with my mother since after all this time, the last of my jw friends and my brother and sister have all decided that they should shun me now, and i want to make a last ditch effort to convey to my mother that i didn't leave the organization so i could do lines of coke off a cheap hooker, but because i actually believe that this is not the truth.. i'd love some feedback on the email and what you think the possibility of it actually breaking through the "permafrost" created by the society.

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  nugget

  It was the intellectual dishonesty of the society that I found frustrating and annoying. They made a liar of me because I thought their research was robust and quoted from their publications. I sincerely hope your mum can see this but be prepared that for her it may be too much. It was good that you stuck to one topic and it is a great one for showing the flaws in the societies research. Good luck.
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  83

  Sparlock Drives My Wife to the Brink of Apostasy

  by breakfast of champions in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i reported the other night that we sat down to watch the new video, and while my wife was smiling and laughing while watching the first part, she stiffened and became quiet during part two.

  it disturbed her deeply:.

  "this is ridiculous.

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  nugget

  Duane - you talk of flipping it I nearly died laughing. The governing body are the kings of the flip flop. The religion you joined barely 2 years ago is not the same as the religion I was baptised into 30 years ago. Most of the doctrines have been tweaked, changed or completely reinvented. I love your attempt to defend the indefensible and the text book rant against apostates with all those lovely generalisations. Perhaps you should have put as much passion into researching the religion you have got baptised into as you have into breaking their rules. Your fear of Satan and his demons makes you less free than the average person.
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  26

  After twenty four years of loyal service, I am about to commit treason...

  by CaptainSchmideo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  of a sort.. i have been with the same company for 24 years, and the last 5 have not been very enjoyable for me.

  i like the owner of the company, but the management team is terrible, and the dept.

  i work in (tech service) is demoralized.

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  nugget

  You have nothing to feel guilty about. You have worked for 33% less than you are worth and gave them 24 years to show appreciation. You have been loyal to them but they have not responded in kind and have taken you for granted.

  Apply for the new job, until you are offered it nothing is definite anyway.
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  30

  My testimony June 23rd

  by mouthy in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  i have been invited to share it on radio.on healing exjws by agustin astacio.

  those who pray,please do it for me those who dont send good vibes,please.

  those who dont like me stay in bed.... dont get up.....

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  nugget

  Good luck I am sure your experience will be valuable for others.
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  14

  Should I attend a JW funeral?

  by Flat_Accent in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i mean, i had respect for the guy, and it's obviously right to be there for the family and show support.

  however, i can imagine what it will be like going back.

  i was friendly with a lot of the older, tougher sisters, so i'm sure they'll get on my case.

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  nugget

  This is something only you can decide. If you are not DA'd or Df'd then attending any JW event puts you back on the radar. However if this person was important to you then attending shows respect for him. However this is not a funeral for the person they are merely the excuse for the meeting. The family may be in for a shock if they were expecting a personal talk and having someone there who can express how much their loved one meant to them may mean a lot.
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  45

  The Little Aggravations: Things I Don't Miss

  by simon17 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there are some major problems with the jws, doctrinally, socially, and organizationally.

  from shunning to crazy elder bodies to guilt trips, there are many things that were really bad.

  this thread is devoted to the small, insignificant things that just really really irked you.

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  nugget

  I hated getting to field service only to find out that everyone had paired up prior to the group and I was left as a spare part.

  I hated it when on a Saturday my husband and the olther elders went off on calls as a car group leaving me to work with both the children. Actually I liked being able to do a few calls and bunk off early but I hated the assumption that children were womens work.

  I hated it when you had both the children with you on the service but noone volunteered to take one of them with them so you had to either go to the door mob handed or split up prior to every door.

  I hated it when someone made their getting to the meetings your responsibility and laid on the guilt. Then when you had gone miles out of your way to pick them up and arrived home late they would offer you "a few pennies" to cover your time and expense. Trust me no bus or taxi would take you to the meeting and back for £2 or a cup of coffee next time you were out on the service.

  I hated it when you got to the meeting and listened to a talk about widening out and being friendly and yet no one would come up to talk to you even when you had a baby in your arms that had fallen asleep and you couldn't move yourself.

  I hated that everyone felt they had the right to tell you how to bring up your children even though they did not have the first idea what your children needed or appreciate that for them they had been pretty damn wonderful during the last 2 hours of mental torture.

  I hated it when someone answered up and rambled for ages completely off the point I was mentally screaming inside.

  I hated it when people took the end seats at assemblies and then frowned when you had to take children past them because they needed the toilet. You then had to wait until the next break or song to return to the seat so as not to get frowny faced or deep sighs.

  I hated it that despite having 2 young children it was deemed a good idea to put hubby on the locking up schedule and then having to wait while people with zero empathy talked for hours about pointless stuff whilst your children were tired and fractious and had school in the morning waited for them to shut up and go home. If I seemed less than happy I was the bad person.

  I hated it when you went out to a restaurtant as a group and half the people there didbn't want to pay a tip even though the service had been perfect. They also neglected to add the cost of their drinks to their share so some poor person at the end is saddled with the shortfall. Hubby once had to pay an extra £50 at someones engagement meal because of a load of JW short payers who had left pretty damn quick after supposedly paying their share.

  I hated it when people were judgemental about other people's homes or what they had rather than being happy for someone.

  The miracle is I didn't run out of the place screaming like a smurf sooner.