Your children are old enough to be reasoned with and at 16 will have probably experience of Dfing and consequences within the congregation.
Try reverse thinking when talking about shunning.
Remind them of the all the great times you have shared and that despite all that has happened you love them and care about them and that will not change. Ask them if they can imagine anything they could do that would stop you loving them. Reinforce that there is nothing they could do that would make you reject them because family is important and love is forever and is not conditional.
You bring this up because the religon that they are being taught has very strict standards. People who are judged to have fallen short of those standards can experience shunning. Ask them what they think that would mean to an individual? Explain that essentially that person is regarded as if they were dead to other members of the congregation. Explain what it has meant to you. You never want them to experience this and you would never shun them.
You know from experience that young people make many mistakes in their life and occasionally make poor decisions. You are not encouraging them to rebel what you are doing is urging them to wait until they are old enough to have thoroughly looked into everything, and know not just what JW believe but what they are rejecting before they make a decision that may impact on their relationship with their mother and friends within the organisation. Remind them that you will always love them and be there for them whatever decisions they make in life.
You hope they will always love you too and feel they can come to you with any problems they have.
