I appreciate that you may not aware of my personal circumstances but we did walk away and left family and friends behind. Whilst it was painful it was also necessary for us to rebuild and give our family an authentic childhood and a real chance to have a better life. For us it is a decision I have never regreted.
The OP position is different in that they wish to return but the elders seem to have no desire to fufil that request. If they have family still in that they are close to then they may feel it is the only option. However depending on the reason for the DF'ing in the first place, reinstatement may take months or years. I genuinely am concerned that constant humiliation can have a damaging affect on a person's self esteem and mental health. Sometimes taking a break from the process to mentally regroup and restore balance can be helpful and healing.
The OP also asked what the elders behaviour says about the religion and my response is that for everyone it is better to walk away since the religion is toxic and causes harm.