Posts by nugget

21

Elder's attitude to dating a non-believer vs acting like a Christian

by ItsMyLife in

i've not been on here for quite some time, due to personal reasons.. i have been dating a wonderful man for nearly 11 months now.

he's a non-practicing cofe christian.

i am a recently inactive jw (oh, how i regret getting baptized at 15).. my dad is an elder.

nugget

To go out with a non believer is treated as disloyalty to Jehovah and will result in marking which is one step up from disfellowshipping. It is unchristian and extremely insulting to the other person who is punished as well. Jws do not see that this behaviour makes hem appear arrogant and extreme they are so busy worrying about rules and punishment. The message of Christian love has been buried under a pile of regulations no wonder people from mainstream churches which teach about the grace of god, love and forgiveness are confused and insulted by the witness approach.

If you love one another then that is what counts. If he has a family that doesn't follow bat shit crazy regulations then that is a blessing. It may be that your family will soften their approach later but you can't count on it. However if this man cares for you and is willing to support you through this then be there for each other. Your long term happiness and your life is your own, don't allow people trapped in a cult to determine who you can or cannot go out with.

86

The Confessed Pedophile Who Raped Me Is Going To Be Made A Elder Again, Need Help Please!

by Bubblegum Apotheosis in

years ago you read my horror stories about being raped by a jw.

i was nine years old when this took place, now the man has been getting all his works in order.

what do i do to stop the seventy-year old pedophile from getting his position back?

nugget

The elders do not understand the impact of sexual assault and rape since they are not the victims. They are trained to deal with it as a sin which in itself is a travesty. The psychological impact and long term damage that victims carry with them is incomprehensible to them. This ignorance leads to them making bad decisions motivated by the idea of protecting the organisation's reputation rather than the people within the congregation.

No paedophile should ever be in a position of trust and oversight they abdicated that right when they raped a child. No victim should be told that they should keep quiet and told that they are the problem. No child is responsible for their rape.

What action was taken at the time and were the police involved? Did you get medical attention or was this handled totally within the confines of the Kingdom Hall? Are you aware of any other victims?

I would speak to the lawyers involved in the Candace Conti case and the new case currently going through the courts. You may not wish to pursue your case but your evidence may be of value to them.

I would also write to the elders bringing to their attention the recent court cases and highlighting that not only the society by the local congregation has been found liable and that the elders have been found culpable. I would remind them that these cases are resulting in large financial awards to the victims. By appointing a known paedophile to a position of oversight they are now making the congregation morally and financially responsible for this man. Should he rape again you would have no choice but to testify against the man concerned and the way your case was handled. This means that a court would have sufficient evidence to award substantial damages to any future victim.

I would also change congregations and use it as an excuse to stop attending.

Perhaps the thought that they would have a financial liability may make them think again.

33

Evolution, Biogeography VS. Experimental archaeology

by Brother of the Hawk in

i thought of posting this on an ongoing thread regarding proof of noahs flood by poster *lost*, but i think a separate thread is needed.

this is why.. first my disclaimer.

this thread is a theory since so many people love the theory and so as not to hurt feelings and insult anyone, this is only a theory.. my personal observation is this, as long as you bash watchtower all is ok. as soon as you try to present any resemblance of christianity or any belief in the bible, such as the flood, you are personally bashed.

nugget

I think you may have breached item 1 of the posting guidelines but that is for the moderators to decide

36

Would You Shun Your Own Son or Daughter For A Million Dollars for the rest of your life??

by Narcissistic Supply in

jw
friends

simply for the money..

nugget

no

33

Evolution, Biogeography VS. Experimental archaeology

by Brother of the Hawk in

i thought of posting this on an ongoing thread regarding proof of noahs flood by poster *lost*, but i think a separate thread is needed.

this is why.. first my disclaimer.

this thread is a theory since so many people love the theory and so as not to hurt feelings and insult anyone, this is only a theory.. my personal observation is this, as long as you bash watchtower all is ok. as soon as you try to present any resemblance of christianity or any belief in the bible, such as the flood, you are personally bashed.

nugget

I am sure you presented argument to back your point of view but unfortunately I found the personal attacks distateful and these served to detract from anything you said. To assert that someone was selected by evolution to be weeded out was truly disgusting and whether the individual was offended or not I am sure that many people on the forum did find it offensive.

When an argument has been lost intellectually then the watchtower teaches us that a personal attack is in order you seem to have learnt that lesson well.

85

The final chapter in the confusedandalone story...

by confusedandalone in

this morning i get a frantic call from my sister (who has been baptized 1 year and one month and never attends meetings anymore).

in tears she tells me that this morning my father picked her up in the car and told her that i was am apostate.

that i no longer loved jehovah and that i was going to be disfellowshipped.

nugget

Once it was clear that they were not going to leave us alone and were forming a JC I made it clear that we were not going to attend. When they called me to deliver their verdict I refused to talk to them. When they delivered the letters in the night to our address I threw them in the bin unopened. Once I decided they were not going to have any power in my life I cut them out of it and refused to play their games.

7

hmm...not sure what to do...

by wizardca in

the wife and i found out today she is preggo!

we aren't going to share the blessed news with family until the end of the first trimester later this year...if we can hold out and keep it a secret until then.

but i don't know what to do with my jw fam.

nugget

I would suggest that as you are not up to date on which celebrations are banned or approved by the organisation that you tell them that you leave it up to them to hold their own baby shower for your wife if they are so inclined so as to avoid offending them by inviting them to a celebration they may not want to participate in. It is so difficult who would have thought a wedding could be offensive so it can be a minefield.

The magazines have mentioned baby showers in the past but I don't remember the exact slant of the article.

50

Letter From My Mother: Moire insane Watchtower Rhetoric

by confusedandalone in

again, i apologize to any who think i may be going overboard posting these letters, but i am hoping that i can help prepare others for the type of bombardment that they may face when dealing with mentally diseased witness parents who have no idea just how much control this cult has over them:.

august 19, 2013. dear <my name removed> & <my wifes name removed>, .

i had the privilege of attending the convention this weekend for a second time and i must say that i enjoyed it more than the first.

nugget

So sorry. Your mother's letter was a complete watchtower manipulation with all the usual rhetoric. She wants you to come back into line and is concerned about your not spending time with them. She blames other people for the distance between you but fails to appreciate that it is her religion and the rules she is enforcing that cause the distance. If you were allowed to be true to yourself and she was allowed to accept that you have an alternative viewpoint then there would be no conflict. It is precisely because they are trying to enforce a paradigm where everyone has to believe the same thing that there is a problem.

In a normal family you accept that others have a different perspective and you may not agree with it but you love them just the same. You can still visit and be assured of acceptance since love isn't conditional on belonging to a specific religion or viewpoint. She is incapable at the moment of considering another perspective.

56

Please help. I am losing the plot.

by wordyword in

after being a witness for 40 years, i now find myself disfellowshipped.. i have had a number of doubts for a few years now, but still feel as if i'm living my life in the "t minus " to armageddon spector.. my parents are in their 80's and my dear mother is in very bad health.

i was allowed to pop through - about once a month to make sure my parents were ok and for them to see their grandchildren.

this all ended after the july watchtower article and especially since the district convention - with all the "counsel" on associating with disfellowshipped family members.. around 6 weeks ago, my dad asked me point blank why i wasn't trying to get reinstated.

nugget

I would send a get well card unsigned, saying heard you were unwell and was thinking of you. I would also arrange for flowers to be delivered in the name of the grandchildren. This lets your mum know you are thinking of her and are aware of her situation.

If your father is controlling it is very hard to make any inroads into his way of thinking but by sending cards etc from yourself and the grandchildren you are doing something positive and showing them that they are still important to you. It is also less confrontational.

48

Need Help - Looks like some one in my family got to know that we are fading...

by MissConfused in

letter from a close family member... need help responding.... what a powerful illustration of the affect that our choice of friends can have on us, especially if we leave jehovah after being 'raised' by him from infancy!.

pack of wolvesthere was a farmer who raised sheep and had trouble with wolves stealing his sheep.

he loved his sheep and didn't want to lose even one of them.

nugget

These stories are nauseating but well befits the jw attitude of zero forgiveness. It didn't matter to the farmer that the wolf had the same thoughts as the prodigal son, it does not matter that he resisted the other wolves nor that he appealed for mercy. The wolf remembered the sheep were his friends, the farmer saw the sheep as his property.

What is the purpose of a flock of sheep? It is to provide wool, milk and food. The farmer would eventually slaughter all his sheep to make a profit the wolf would eat what he needed to satisfy his hunger. In this story the farmer is no hero but a selfish hard hearted man with no compassion for either the wolf or the flock.

In the organisation the congregation are treated as property any that do not add value receive less support and sheep who question the benevolence of their spiritual farmer are given over to the wolves. The sheep that remain in are fed pap and fleeced regularly so yes there is much we can learn from this illustration.